Sonichu (character)
Chris's greatest and most original original character (DO NOT STEAL GUYS SRSLY), and imaginary son. He goes on adventures and zaps to the extreme.
Creation and Development
In Chris's Failed Wikipedia article, Chris revealed that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class with Miss Chalifoux. In March, 2000, Chris had to create a CD Cover for an "assignment". Despite being ridiculously simple, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time, so in an incredible feat of autistic thought, Chris created a horrible amalgam of pikachu and sonic in MSPaint.
Chris created the CWC's Sonichu Site! five months later, in August of 2000. A few drawings of sonichu appear on the site, mostly on homemade pokemon cards and other various shit.
The comic began shortly thereafter, Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in Sonichu #0. The comic was completed and released in 2005, FIVE YEARS AFTER SONICHU'S CONCEPTION. Draw your own conclusions about that.
Sonichu's character design hasn't changed in the slightest way sense Chris scrawled the first poorly drawn Sonichu. Despite drawing Sonichu for nearly a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain a the drawing skills of a third grader. Perhaps Chris's constant masturbation leaves his hands sore, numb and useless.
Fictional character biography
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Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up. |
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| Sonichu's background, Sonicu's News Dash #2 | ||
One day the city of Station Square was under siege by the Perfect Chaos Monster, and Sonic the Hedgehog attempted to battle the creature. While using the six Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Sonic, Sonic bumped into a wild male Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of Pokemon: Sonichu.
While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering Rosechu in the woods he hoped to beg for food from her trianer, Kel. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from Naitsirhc at CWCville Mall, Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. CWCville's mayor, Christian Weston Chandler, congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his Love Quest.
Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father Giovanni and Robotnik used to create Black Sonichu. Black Sonichu was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and Metal Sonichu to rescue Rosechu, who later met Amy Rose.
One day, while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious Cherokian chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophecized creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There they learned the Anchuent Prophecy, which reveals that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretells of the release of an ancient evil. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of Chris-chan Sonichu, which transformed him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by Wes-Li Sonichu, the reincarnation of the head of the Wasabi Clan, who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. Saramah Rosechu, the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophecized hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon.
When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the Legendary Master Sunstone, he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokemon created by the same effect that created himself and Rosechu. Sonichu led this newly formed Chaotic Combo into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.
One day, Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall when Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform with his twin sister into Chrs-Chan Pure. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's Dark Mirror Hole, Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When Reldnahc Ha-Taque and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and Magi-Chan accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.
After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven Sonichu Balls from 1996. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.
One day, after having hours of sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website 4-cent garbage.com spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis--pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-Cent Garbage building to confront Jason Kendrick Howell. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.
During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing. Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's duck.
Characteristics
Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing, chillin'. He enjoys outdoors activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.
He is deeply in love with his sweet-bolt, Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at 14 Brunchville Lane, CWCville, Virginia, 02024-1982. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or vomits profusely. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and abusive behind closed doors.
Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the Sonichu series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies.
When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches long, and often ruptures the condoms he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu.
Powers and abilities
Aside from the obvious super-speed transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. His special attacks include:
- Sky Uppercut (punch to the head from below)
- Mega Kick (a, um, kick)
- Double Team (the attacker creates the illusion that there are, uh, three attackers)
- Spin Dash (attacker spins in mid-air, hurtling directly at victim)
- Zap Cannonball (attacker aims a projectile at victim)
Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while Christian takes over the story.
Sonichu as a Gary Stu
One of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew trolls to Chris, aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws is that Sonichu is a Gary Stu (that is, a male Mary Sue character) unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws.
When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend who he met, fell in love with, and developed a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is fast, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.
A notable case of Sonichu as a Gary Stu is in Sonichu 8 when he fights 4-cent_garbage.com in which Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls.
Gallery
More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Even Sonichu wears Pedo-Glasses!
SONICHU VS. NIGRACHU FIGHT!
Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys or an unfortunately licensed condoms with album art on them.
Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
And his GBA
(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Even for your DS!
That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, Evan. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Chris, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Sonichu with Rosechu, in Pixelblocks form.
Sauces
See Also