Sonichu 3 Official Videobook
Sonichu 3 Official Videobook is a series of videos in which Chris reads and comments on Sonichu #3. He started uploading these videos on 13 September 2009.
- In Episode 10, the origins of the Chaotic Combo!
| “ | See now how these eggs hatch in group. | ” |
- In Episode 11, the Chaotic Combo face their first test! As for Flame, the impotent Sunbird:
| “ | I could use pants! | ” |
- And in Sub-Episode 4, Christian acts like a total faggot at McDonald's!!
| “ | AH! Yhaat's a liar, you liar! | ” |
Other points of note:
- We get confirmation that Allison Amber has taken charge of CWCville during Chris's absence!
- Chris bitches the quality of the PSEye and EyeCreate vis-a-vis their utility in creating his videobooks!
- Black Sonichu goes by Black Sonichu, Blake, "this black guy," Blackey, and Blachu. It is entirely possible that only "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler, alias Chris-Chan, himself has more names!
- We find out that those damn Pokémon parents were supposed to be saying real things. Apparently it has never occurred to Chris that they needed subtitles translating their Pokébabble.
Episode 10
| Episode 10: Sonichu Babies | |
| Stardate | 13 September 2008 |
| Episode | 10 |
| Other | Featuring the voices of Cartoon CWC, Wild Sonichu, Bubbles Rosechu, Angelica Rosechu, Punchy Sonichu, Shinabe, Mypoe, and Magi-Chan Sonichu |
| The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks | |
| previous Sub-Episode 3 |
next Episode 11 |
Transcript: Part 1
And we're back, yeah. Alright, and also just to note to the, uh, Wild Sonichu fan that's been constantly e-mailing me: EVERYTHING IS ON THE CWCIPEDIA, including a biology page. Biology. Sh- and you have- and you have- to look on the, uh, you have to expand the gallery and click on the pages to actually get a closer look at what they read. Ok?
And do not believe that page. There is, there- nobody else is mayor. I'm s-... [sigh] Ok, currently in the book, Allison Amber is the mayor. ALLISON AMBER. My secretary. Whe- she- she got the job of being vice-mayor when she was hired to be my secretary. So therefore, that's they way it's been. And until I ge- until I get back in Book Number 10, and then actually make th- made the plot turn there, who will be the mayor after book, beyond Book Number 10? There you go. It's Allison Amber, and nobody else, not even... Not even Billy Mays impersonator Richard Carn; I've often confused the two, 'cause they both look alike in the face! Anyway aside from that, here, we'll start Book Number 3.
And, uh, once again, all Sonichu material is copyrighted March 17, 2000 by me, Christian Weston Chandler. Any names or persons illustrated in the- in any of the Sonichu comics except that of myself, that may seem similar to anyone in real life or fiction, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Anyway, here is the cover for Book Number 3! Yes, we are introducing K- Chaotic Combo here: Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy and Magi-Chan.
Episode 10: Sonichu Babies
Mmmm, once upon a time, a powered-up hedgehog collided wit' a Pikachu, and a rainbow of Chaos Emerald energy from da rainbow, it was, that stretched for mi- it stretched for miles across the land. From this rainbow, five mysterious eggs flew from it to locations around the region, and through vast of areas- through vast areas of time. Other eggs may have been released as well, as well as the Seven Chaotic Crystals. Seven Chaotic Crystals. The ones that look like Sonichu Balls. Anyway, yeah [muttering] seven flew over the rainbow, mystery, and uh, that's another story or two. Yeah, mysterious beams of light also shone from the rainbow, a- that's another story or two. Anyway, one egg landed in the jungle, it was found by a mother Venusaur and a father Scyther. Another egg landed by a beach, found by a mother Swampert. Another l-egg landed softly at a church stoop; it was found by a couple of nuns. Another egg landed in a dojo, occupied by young and old warriors. And the last egg landed in the mountains by its lonesome.
See now how these eggs hatch in group. And director's commentary: "It's a cute intro, huh?"
And just so you know, here are the original Sonee and Rosey. They're sonichu and rosechu babies, respectively.
Oh and also, I wanted to take this note to apologize for the pleasantness that I- that you are receiving but I am using the Playstation Eye and the Playstation program EyeCreate. It would be so cool if Playstation would put out an update for EyeCreate to better the quality that is received between the Playstation Eye and the Playstation 3. Also the ability to import videos and images, and even music from the XrossMediaBar.
Think about it, Sony: do it. Update the EyeCreate!
Anyway, now we introduce
Wild Sonichu.
In the forest, uh, nearby the uh, egg start- the egg started to fall and it was caught by a vinewhip of the mother Venusaur. And then there- and then both- then the both the parents were being curious.
- "Scyth?"
- "Venu."
- "Scyth! Scyth? Scyth?"
And then the egg hatches: there's a Wild Sonee!
Yeah, so then the venusaur is teaching the... he teachin' Wild about vinewhip. And uh he and, she grabs- she gets a coconut for him. And then he launches a vinewhip. He hits the coconut, but unfortunately it lands on the ground, it breaks into two halves. And then she begin- he goes up to it- [Chris's voice gets ridiculously mushy] and then he goes up to his mommy, and he's sad, crying.
But then later, the Scyther, father, [sound effects] cuts a tree- cuts a tree into two, with his swift blades to teach the sonee- teach the Wild about ninja skills.
So then Sonee meditates, he launches, and then he hits razor leaf, but then the leaves bounce off.
It's like, "Sonee sonee sonee sonee sonee!"
- "Scyther! Scyther scyther scyth! Scyther scyther scyth!"
- "Sonee."
Hmm, that would be like, you know, "Aw, Darnit, darnit, darnit, darnit!"
- "Relax! there's much to learn about your ninja skills! So be patient."
Ok, eventually about a month or so later, Wild Sonee evolved into Wild Sonichu.
- "Oh yeah! Here we go! I'm swingin' around on the vinewhips! WOOO!"
- [sound effects] "I'm a hedgehog, not a spider monkey!" [sound effects]
At this point he's uh, pretty much, uh fending for himself.
- "Ehhhh, it's time for some coco-soup, so, I'll break down some coconuts and I'll cut down the tree to make wood! [sound effects]
- "Ah, catch da coconut!" [sound effects] "Cut down da tree! Hmm! You think that's somethin'? I can use my leafy tail as a repe- as a propeller, and I can run real quick--but not as fast as Sonichu. I also blend in with any tree, to get any jump- to get my jump... I blend in! I rule this jungle!"
Now we introduce
Bubbles Rosechu.
Her egg landed in the sea. In the ocean. It goes deeper down and down and down. And then, mysterious creature finds the egg, and picks it up and then emerges, oh it's the mother Swampert!
So she hatch- so she puts her egg in the nest, and the egg hatches to Bubbles Rosey. And then through- and then during ther- the during the child-rearing, uh, little Bubbles learns how to splish and splash and have fun. Makes her own little bubbles! And then later on, a whale- a Wailord comes crawl- comes flying over the, uh, mother Swampert and has- and he had- had a rock against- attached to his body, and it hit- and hit- and it hits the mother Swampert on the head, and then she starts sinkin'. And then Rosey startin'- gets concerned so she goes after him- ah, after her.
SPLISH!
- "BLUBBLUBBLUBBLUB!"
- "RO-RO! RO-RO-ROSEEEE!!"
And at that moment as, uh, Bubbles pulls on the mother Swampert's tail with all her might, she evolves to Bubbles Rosechu.
- "Don't quit, Momma! I got you!" [sound effects]
And then she- then she grabs ahold of her on the side, and then launches an ice beam that thrust them up out of the water.
Later on:
- "Swamp, swamper? Wamp, wamper?"
Uh, a translation that would be, "Huh, uh? Wait. Hmm. Whoa! Who are you?"
She's- and then Bubbles says- "How you feelin', Momma? I nearly lost you as you sank in the ocean, but I saved you."
- "Swamp, swampert."
And she thanks her.
Any- a- anyway, bubble.
- "My- my momma Swampert was excite after I rescue her. But now I freely swim the ocean, that is my back yard. I found many new friends in the future. But I'll never forget how Momma said "Stay strong and true to your heart, and you will prevail! I'm so happy, I think I'll make a seashell necklace!"
Transcript: Part 2
Now we introduce
Angelica.
Over at the church, her egg was found by nuns as it was- it landed on- it landed carefully on their doorstep. It didn't crash, just upon it- ipit- upon near impact it stopped, and then it landed softly, and the nuns found the egg on their doorstep. And they're like:
- "Sister! Our Lord has blessed us with a young one from the above!"
- "Yes! Let's bring it in and offer our prayers upon t- its health!"
And then a little while later, Angelica Rosey hatches. They save the eggshell for memories.
So then they teach Rosey- uh, they teach Angelica how to read the Bi- how to read with the Bible. And then they te- and then they let her out and then she le- starts learning to fly and they're like:
- "Keep trying my child! The Lord has blessed you with wings, so one day you'll fly to angelic heights!"
And then a little- and then like, a little- and then a little while late- and then one night about a month later, so, she evol- she uh, she was sleeping and suddenly with the Lords- with the Lord's blessing she evolves into An- into Angelica Rosechu.
And then I just snuck in, and then I just, you know- I's director. I had to leave her her hair band and her slippers, 'cause she's gonna need those!
Anyway, the next morning, A- Angelica interru- intercepts the, uh nuns, and they're like- and she's like:
- "Blahblahblahblahblah, and then- and I just awoke anew!"
- "Well, Angelica, I knew the Lord would have a grand plan for you!"
- "Yes, He gave you a great script to follow!"
Heh-heh!
- "Whee! I'm flying High! [singing] I believe I can fly!"
Hmm!
- "I'm Angelica, humble servant to our Lord! Having faith over time will reward you very well. So keep your head held high, and one day you shall be blessed with good health, true love, and pure happiness! Spread your wings of hope and fly!"
Yay!
And now, it's...
Punchy!
So anyway, the, uh- anyway his egg lands by the front- la- lands cautiously at the front door, at the Nabe- at Nabe's dojo-shin. Hmm. And then the uh- and then the egg was found by Shinabe, the uh owner of the gym, and he just held it. He just kept it by his side even while he was during- t-t-teaching his classes.
- "Listen my young students. You make this master G.D.W. proud. Now, we will perfect our choppin' technique; you will never know when you'll need to cut a move. Let's get like this and..."
[sound effects]
- "Nabe! Master Shinabe-san! Your egg is shakin'!"
[sound effects]
So then, Punchy jump- Punchy Sonee jumps out of the egg, and then la- and then lands in the- lands right in front of Sh- Master Shinabe. And then he is- and then he shows his fists, with knuckles. And then he looks back, and then he's like,
- "SONEE-YE!!"
And then he's like, "Great Excel-Poemy Saga!!" Hmm!
And then out of nowhere, one of his students replies, "I'll accept your challenge!"
It was Miss Mypoe, and she took on the body posture and positions and gestures of the little sonee as a challenge.
- "Because my- because I, Mypoe, calling myself Byashiko, will not allow a grasshopper like you to hatch into my director's dojo-shin so easily!"
And then- and then he- and then Shinabe says, "Mypoe, I'm only your father in this setup. Stay in character."
And then I have to comment, and say, "Yeah, and I'm the director of this anime, not Shinabe!"
And then she- and then she's just like- and then, so she just reaches behind poor little- poor unsuspecting sonee, and she's like, "And my opponent does not need this weakpoint! Yaaa!"
And then just rips the tail right off! And then right at that moment, he evolves! To Punchy Sonichu! And he's like,
- "EHHHRR.... That... really... [PFFF!] HURT!"
And sends her flying sky-high with a sky uppercut. And then Shinabe's surprised, he's like,
- "Wow. You are strong. I know what Mypoe did was wrong, but if you will let me, I can teach you how to center that power into a much better, less-painful, fighting style."
And then Punchy's like,
- "Eyeaah. I'm Punchy's- I'm Punchy, strike ninja! I studied under the G.D.W. Shinabe, and I became the greatest fighter since Goku! I also learned to keep my temper down by watching TV comedies! EHAHAHAHA! Ah, they're so funny! I like the Samurai Pizza Cats! Na-na-na-na-NA-NA!"
And then lastly,
Magi-Chan Sonichu.
His egg landed in a mysterious mountain.
And he's like so lonely; and he's like he's ready to hatch anyways. He's like, "Hmm, it's cramped in here." So then he opens up his egg, looks out, and he realizes there's nobody around him! What the hay? But he's not as alone as he thinks...
- "You are not alone."
- "Wow, where am I? Wha- am I alone?"
- "No, you are not."
- "Who are you? What are you? What is this place?"
He's thinking all this; they're being telepathic.
- "I will be your mentor while you grow. I am telepathing with you from the grand sm- from a grand city. You are in a cave, northwest of here, where I temporary resided."
- "What do you want?"
- "I've noticed you have psychic abilities, like me. I only wish to teach you how to use your powers properly. And when I have finished teaching you, you will go out into the world and seek out your own destiny."
And so even- and so d-during- and so for a few months, uh, eventually during the first month he does evolve from Magi-chan Sonee to Magi-Chan Sonichu while levitating.
The mysterious mentor taught this- taught the sonee how to hone his powers, lift objects mentally and physically, and what- and what the outside world was like. The mentor also showed the young one images of popular movies, some featuring par- p- parties for treats, at the moments, parks- at the monuments, parks and other grand locations from around the world.
[mumbling] Yeah, but while meditating, he evolved and he let out an accidental fart... [Pppt!] Oops! Hoo-hoo!
Yeah, but then- and then sometime later, hmm.
- "Magi-chan Sonichu, I have taught you everything I have to teach you then- for now. You are as- you are- you, as well as your powers, have grown marvelously."
- "Master! Will I ever meet you face-to-face?"
- "We will meet in the future, but now go out into the world and seek your own destiny."
And then he teleports himself to the top of the mountain.
- "Thank you master, I will not fail. I predict success in my future, for I see other hedgehog pokemon and great adventures. My destiny is just a teleport away."
Stay tuned for when these hedgehogs meet.
Episode 11
| Episode 11: When Hedgehogs Meet | |
| Stardate | 13 September 2008 |
| Episode | 11 |
| Other | Featuring the voices of Flame the Sunbird, Black Sonichu, Giovanni, Bubbles Rosechu, Wild Sonichu, Angelica Rosechu, Punchy Sonichu, Magi-Chan Sonichu, and Sonichu |
| The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks | |
| previous Episode 10 |
next Sub-Episode 4 |
Transcript: Part 1
Episode 11: When Hedgehogs Meet
Featuring the Chaotic Combo.
- "Hello! I'm Flame, the Sunbird. I'm not a Pokemon, nor am I related to one. I am the protector of the Legendary Master Sunstone. BACAAW! The Master Sunstone controls every- how everything in the world grows! As long as it remains on my island's monument, everything will grow like normal! But if it was to fall into the wrong hands, everything could fall into CHAOS! Humans could grow extra body parts--or lose them! Trees would grow legs and walk the Earth in anger! BRAWWCK!! I, Flame, make sure the Master Sunstone stays in its place and together to ensure proper growth that makes it very powerful."
[unintelligible bird sounds]
- "I could use pants!"
[helicopter sounds]
This happens just over the, uh, island, but nigh- but Black Sonichu jumps out the helicopter. But right before, he was prepped from Giovanni.
- "Let's go over the mission once more, Black Sonichu. You'll swoop down onto the island, get the Sunstone, and bring it to me."
- "I got it, Boss. I won't fail you."
[sigh] And has his hover... board, and he initiates his... operation.
- "You will use the hoverboard to glide over the ocean at top velocity. Be careful with the stone; I will use its powers to make our Pokemon stronger by making them GROW! With our big, strong Pokemon, I will rule the world! HEHEHEHEHEHAA! You got that?"
- "Yep, I got it."
[sound effects]
S- Blake lands about- lands behind the, uh, Sunstone- behind, duh- behind... Flame's back. A- the Fla- a- Flame notices the noise, and Black- and Black's- and Blake is picking up the Sunstone and he picks it up. He's like, "AWK!?"
- "What's up, Doc?"
Heh!
- "What do you think you're doing with my stone??"
- "None of your beeswax, bird. See ya!" [sound effects]
He flies away, and he ah- and Flame ducks as he launches over him. And he starts flyin. "Hey you! Get back here with that Sunstone!"
So now Black Sonichu is gli- is, uh, hovering over the ocean, top speed. And Flame is flying over the ocean, just like a few- just like a few feet above the ocean floor, cause he wants ta- cause he wa- initiates his Drill Peck. To try to launch- to try and hit the Bla- to try to hit Black Sonichu. But he does a double-team; he's like "BRAWK?! I missed? [unintelligible bird sounds] It's a big red light!"
So he stops his attack and is- is- is paused mid-air and Black Sonichu gets aw- gets away from him faster. He's like, "HEHEHEHEHEE"
Meanwhile, on CWCville beach, Bubbles is reclining.
- "Hmm! It's so nice just lying in the sun with the ocean at your feet!"
But then WHOOSH! As Blake- as Black Sonichu hovers over- over- hovers over the unsusp- unsuspecting Rosechu, a tidal wave is created from the sun- speed of his hoverboard.
- "Hey! I didn't want a get bath! You get back here!"
And then Black Sonichu goes into the forest and Wild Sonichu is uh, is just swingin' around and then he sees- and then he sees Black Sonichu coming up approaching him from up ahead. Then [PSHEW!] he fly- he makes- he uh, gets away, but s- but Wild gets- he gets like makes- he gets like a- has made like a bad- a swing that is swung around and around and around the pole. And he's, like, his vinewhip is stuck there for the moment. And then...
- "Man, that hurt! That jerk ain't gonna get away for that!"
So he cuts away from his vinewhip and starts going after him, and Bubbles is somewhere- is following- is going after him as well.
Further ahead, at a waterfall, Punchy is- is exer- is practicing his- his strengths.
He lifts up a stone, and he throws it up sky-high; it flies over the waterfall. But then... I mean, not really over, but it goes that high. And then- and then it falls down, he extend- he extends his fists, at pretty much at the wrong time, because Black Sonichu is hov- is hovering over HIS head, and w- and Punchy accidentally grabs the board, and they hover away!
- "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~"
Meanwhile, the other two hedgehogs are still following Black Sonichu, but then up ahead over at the church:
[music]
Angelica is hovering over a grass field, and she encourages flowers to grow with her magic. And she makes a little symbol- makes a little pattern of flowers of yellow, amon- amongst the pink flowers, goin' "Hope and Peace." And she's content with that. And she's like, "Calm and soothing... for the eyes!"
And then Blake- and then Black Soni- and then Black- you would think that Black Sonichu would hover through the flowers, but no he goes just ha- just above them and but [sigh] Just about hit- just about- but just misses the tree, but unfortunately Punchy does not miss the tree: BONG!!
Ah, Black Sonichu gets away, but Angelica goes down to- and the- to check on the poor Punchy.
Transcript: Part 2
She's like, "Hey are you ok?"
- "Hmm, yeah I- I think so."
- "Oh, thank the Lord!"
- "Yeah. Wow. Pretty flowers."
- "Oh thank- oh, thank you! You should see them from above!"
And then just as they finish up their conversation, Bubbles, Wild, and Flame pause right in front of them.
The two hedgehogs are like, oh jeeze, there's two more of them. And then, "Hey, who're you?"
So, then, from around the thing, everybody's thinkin', but starting from Wild:
- Oh man, more hedgehog pokemon like myself? I can't believe it.
- Wow! I'm not the only one around here? I want some friends but didn't expect this much...
- Am I seeing triple? It's like being in a funhouse mirror-room!
- Oh bless this day, more hedgehog pokemon!
And then Bubbles is thinking, Well some- well, isn't anyone going to break the ice? Oh well, p-I'll speak...
- "'Ello, it's nice to meet y'all! My name is Bubbles."
- "Hmm! You can call me Punchy!"
- "I'm delighted; my name's Angelica."
- "I am Wild. I was following this blac- this black guy on a board?"
They continued to talk, but nearby on the mountain [PSHEW] Magi-Chan is catching wind of it. So he's like:
- "It seems my electric hedgehog group has just got together. But as they chatter away, Black Sonichu's getting away with Flame's Sunstone. But I fortunately foresee the original one crossing his path ahead, and detaining him. I must meet my group and teleport them to the black one's location. Ok, I'm off!"
So then at levitating and s- at levitating quick speed hovers down the hill and h- heads toward the others.
Meanwhile, in da fo- meanwhile in a deep part of the forest, just ahead, Sonichu's making his 'nother run. He's like, "When I heard through a grapevine that Black Sonichu was stealing the powerful- powerful stone, I couldn't help but rush to intercept it and return it to where it came from."
Heh. And Black Sonichu's just about to intercept Sonichu, he's like, "Hehe. Man, too many obstacles. I'll be too glad to return to Giovanni's lab."
And he's just closing in on it, but then, BANZAI! Sonichu ma- Sonichu makes a spinning dash towards the board, and knocks Punch- knocks Black Sonichu off the board.
[sound effects]
- "Ow!"
[sound effects]
The Sunstone is nearby, but, Black Sonichu looks up from the grass, and he's like, "YOU!"
Sonichu's like, "Heh. I will not let you and Giovanni harness such power, and ruin the peace of our world!"
- "You will not stop us!"
SHAZAAM! [sound effects]
Back to the- back to the other hedgehogs: Flame, Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, and Punchy. Magi-Chan says, "I am Magi-Chan Sonichu. While the five of you were chattering, Back t- Black Sonichu has gotten away with the Sunstone. Currently, he was intercepted by the original. We must join him and take Blachu down at once and get the Sunstone back." And then they're all in agreement, and he's like "Ok, then: Let's teleport!" [VWOOWOOWOOWOOWOO]
[singing] GO GO ELECTRIC HEDGEHOGS! DO-DO-DO-DEE-OO-DO-DO!
Sonichu's about to pick up the Sunstone, but then [sound effects] Black Sonichu hits him, and swipes the Sunstone.
- "Ah! Black Sonichu! Give me the Sunstone or I'll zap you!"
And then he's like, "You and what army?" as he holds the Sunstone high.
And then all of a sudden, right behind Sonichu... "Wha?" [sound effects]
And then Bla- and the Black Sonichu surprise. And then Sonichu's thinking, Heh, my cavalry.
- [singing]"Hail! Hail! The Gang's Right Here!"
- What the hey do I care? What the hey do I care? Lame! says Black Sonichu. "I'm still gonna take y'all down, one by one! Err!"
But Sonichu calls a time-out and a huddle.
- "No time for round intros, just call me Sonichu. Now, Blackey's got a weak defense. Avoid his attacks, and ac- attack him with your punches, kicks, wing-attacks; that sort. Let's win this one for the bird, and get that stone! Ready? BREAK!"
And the bird's just hiding in the bushes, because you know, he fell into them. Jeeze... what poor luck for the bird.
And, so, S- Black Sonichu lets out his- his electric attacks. Sonichu does a double-team; the electric attack missed him. And Angelica protects, Wa- Wild deflects with razor leaf, Punchy goes underground with dig, Bubbles mega-kicks, and Magi-chan reflects with a light screen.
And then after deflection, Punchy goes under Black Sonichu and then- duh and du- goes up and comes up and up and unearths himself from underground, punching him up. And then Angelica intercepts with her wing attack, knocking him down, to Wild Sonichu that get by punches him away with mega punch, and then- and then Magi-Chan levitates Black Sonichu with psychic attack, and then Bubbles double slaps him. And then, Sonichu is spin-dashing toward him. And he's like- Blake is like, "Oh no..." [PSHEW!]
And then: A pinball parody!! [pinball sounds]
- "Heh. High score: 500,000! Initials S-C-U! Heh heh."
And then Sonichu's congratulate everybody. He's like, "We did it! Black Sonichu is temporary paralyzed, and Flame got the Sunstone. What're we now? WINNERS!"
Yay!
Stay tuned.
Sub-Episode 4
| Sub-Episode 4: McAttack | |
| Stardate | 13 September 2008 |
| Episode | Sub-4 |
| Other | Featuring the voices of Cartoon CWC, B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic, Darkbind Sonichu, and W-M-Manajerk |
| The OFFICIAL Sonichu Videobooks | |
| previous Episode 11 |
next Sub-Episode 5 |
Transcript
Ahh,
Sub-Episode 4: Me 'n a McAttack.
Happens in a fast-food restaurant within the Mal-Wart Region. Date: June 20, 2005.
Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a boyfriend-free-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up. Oh, I detest the men, epcep- except for my father and me, and the important ones like president and whatever. Ah! Because they take all the pretty girls, leaving me with none to choose from. Makes me angry. THIS SUCKS! I'M VERY LONESOME AND THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND HERE WHO DO WHAT THEY CAN DO TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING ONE! I FEEL THE WORLD IS AGAINST ME FROM FINDING THE SWEETHEART OF MY OWN!
[sigh] Anyway, I'm playin' my music from my Nintendo DS MP3 Player, and I'm wearin' a pair of anime wings I got from a anime convention I've went to recently.
- Hmm. I really like these wings I've found at the an- I got at the anime convention; I feel the level- I feel the level-up.
Hehe, like an RPG game. And then these two guys- and then these two manajerks approached me.
- "What do you think you're doing here?"
And I'm like, "Oh, now what?"
- "I am the B-Manajerk, and this is my partner, Merried Seinor Comic! And we are- and we are of the McDuo of the City of M-C-Dville of the Region of Mal-Wart! We heard from the jerkhief of the Fa-Square Shofall Region that you came here to find yourself a woman! Well, it is illegal here in the Region of Mal-Wart, and I- it is illegal, here, to have a mate at all!"
- "Hey There, 'ow ya doin? I'm the- I'm the Merried Seinor Comic ublablablablah!
- "He also sent us a pair of his Mecha-Jerkops to search you, you solicitor!"
- "OH, THAT'S IT! FIRST OFF, I AM NOT A SOLICITOR! I'M ONLY TRYING TO FIND MYSELF A BOYFRIEND-FREE GIRL, EVER SINCE I STARTED MY SWEETHEART-SEARCH OVER A YEAR AND TEN MONTHS AGO, AND I'VE HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE FROM PEOPLE, MOSTLY THE DUDES, WHO WERE AGAINST ME FINDING MYSELF A WOMAN OF MY OWN! AND I STILL CARRIED ON WITH SPELLING- WITH THE SPELLING OUT MY OF SITUATION TO FIND ONE, SO NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY, I WILL NOT QUIT OR GIVE UP!
- "Alright, then we fight! Mecha-Jerkops, attack!"
- "OH, BRING IT ON!"
Wait a minute, I sense something... [sound effects] The mecha-jerkop's been cut in half?!
- "What the..."
- "Hehehehe..."
- "Who goes there?"
- "[pant] I am the savior who dashes in the n-light. I am the Link who will save our beloved Princess Zelina Rosechu. I... am Darkbind Sonichu!"
Huh. New hedgehog hero. Very good.
- "It's good of you to come to my aid, D.B.!"
- "I had to come, not just because you are da mayor of CWCville, VA, but the creator of us all electric hedgehogs."
- "Then now is the time for action! ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER!"
[FU-SHU-WEEE, NA-WINGLE-FU, FUFU-WEE, FWAH, WOO-WA-LOOSH, BE-BLAH-WOO-SHEE! SHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIBSHIB]
Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by Anchuent Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!
- "Alright, Darkbind, let's get these two outa here!"
- "Yes Sir! Rraa!"
So then I'm- so then the, uh, gold one fly- so then the B-Manajerk flies up, and I fly up against him. And meanwhile on the ground, the Seinor Merried Comic attacks and, ah, Darkbind, initiate their battle.
- "Aaaaah!"
So they're clashing swords. [sword sounds] And then, he- and then Mark- Darkbind cuts off the- the Seinor Married Comic's mechanical right arm. His body and limbs are mechanical. The only thing that's flesh is his head. Hmm.
"Now stand down, worthy adversary!" says Darkbind.
"Ooh, it's only a scratch," says the Merried Senior Comic.
- "A scratch? Your arm is off!"
- "No it isn't!"
- "What's that then!?"
- "I've had worse."
- "C'mon, you- AH! Yhaat's a liar, you liar!"
- "Come on, you pansy!" [sword sounds]
He chops off his other arm; and he's like "Victory is mine!" And then he puts his sword on the gr- a he s-suts his sword on the ground, and he lays- kneels a- kneels against it, and he's like "Oh Princess Zelina, I will collect the crystals, and I am the wake-" [Chris giggles] He kick- and then Dark- and then Merried Seinor Comic kicks him!
And then he's like, "Have at you!"
- "I'll have your bionic legs!" [sword sounds]
And then he cuts it off, and he's like, "All righty, we'll call it a draw!"
Meanwhile up in the air, I'm flyin' with my wings, while the B-Manajerk is flyin' with his rockets. So then I do it- I apply an aerial ace, and headbutt him! And then- and then after I pass him after I do that, he pulls out his gun and starts shootin' at me. [BUDA-BUDA-BUDA-BUDA-BUDA-BUDA-BUDA-BUDAAA~] But I do double-team, and all the shots miss.
And then he's like, "Oh... darn! Which one is real?"
But it turns out the real one, which is me, is right behind him, so I give him a thunderbolt from behind!
- "Aaaaah!" [PSEEEWWW]
I knock his guns out of his hands.
And then he pulls out his golden axe from behind; he's like, "That tears it!"
So then I make- so then I have pixelblocks- I make a substitute! And then he hits that, and then some of the pixelblocks fall into his face; he's like, "Ow. Ow. Ow."
AND THEN I GIVE HIM A SKY UPPERCUT FROM BEHIND AND KNOCK HIS JET PACK OFF!
- "NOOOOOOOOO!"
- "For Love, Trust, and a Woman for Me, I SHALL SMITE THEE!" Hahaa!
And the B-Manajerk falls- falls nex- falls to the ground next to the Seinor Merried Comic. "Ah, he got you too, eh?"
- "Oh, shut up!"
And then, I'm talkin' to Darkbind, and "Well, Chris, I have to go, but I'm glad that I was able to help you in your time of need."
- "Thank you."
- "Well, I'm off."
And then Darkbind dashes away, and I transform back. Now I give the- the two guys their lecture.
- "Now as for you two manajerks, the pain you both are feeling now should be punshiment enough for... going against me in my s- quest for a woman to be my sweetheart, to love and trust. I do not care about your rules, either of you, or any male other than my father, and myself! But let me make it perfectly clear that in my sweetheart search, my love quest, it is very hard for me to find a girl due to the infinitely-high boyfriend-factor! And I do not want to risk getting a punch in the face from a jerk! Also, since the ladies are unable to notice my person, because they mostly have shopping on their minds or whatever, I have to do it loudly by spelling it out! SO PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ON MY SWEETHEART SEARCH! And also, I am very shy, so there!"
Damn my shyness! But over a loudspeaker, a mysterious voice says, "[PSHH] Not if I have a say in the matter! [PSHH]"
And then I'm like, "What? Who goes there?"
- "[PSHH] I am the one who rules this Wal-Mart- Mal-Wart Region! I am the one who will destroy all your pitiful hopes in ever getting a girlfriend of your own! [Panting] Where those clowns have failed, I shall triumph!"
- "[Gasp!] Damn! Oh jeeze!"
- "I am the W-M-MANAJERK! HAHAHAHAHAA! I shall smite you with my robotic limbs and body!
To be continued in the next Sub-Episode. Stay tuned!