List of unheroic protagonist actions

One of the more amusing things about Sonichu is how Chris tries to portray the protagonists of his comic as badass, heroic, and insightful yet utterly fails at this. Over time, the characters have committed enough unintentional buffoonery to fill a list of unheroic protagonist actions. While any protagonist worth reading about will have some flaws, from Donald Duck's temper to Sonic the Hedgehog's hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters have go from portraying them as 'flawed but ultimately heroic' to 'villain and doesn't know it'.

Recurring Shenanigans

• The Pokemon in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer Kel pimping out her dragon to ease Rosechu's lusts while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that human children can date Pokemon.
• The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, only having known their partners for mere days or even hours beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also have a tendency of becoming uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries.
• The characters are overly vindictive in combat when they have any sort of situational advantage. Mutilation, violent sexual domination, and of course mass murder are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any non-ironic hero, where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
• The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate special techniques or strategies from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
• CWCVille is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that nonetheless fails to provide basic safety for its populace. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a slight exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run.

Sonichu #2

• Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of their ancestors; no such luck for Chris. The Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at least two superpowers that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs more deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.
• Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's 'father', his help would've been much appreciated.
• After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down Chris goes on a self-aggrandizing rant that tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle.
• Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
• Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of the huge difference in ridiculous superpowers over his rival.
• Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's heart level to be nearly emptied right before the fated battle with Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to string someone along just to cajole them into heroics... but she had no problem doing it to Chris at the end of the issue.

Sonichu #7

• Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and trolling works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of dshemale pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
• Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot a breaking and entering scheme without even trying to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls.
• Wild's father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
• For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his father his own damn self. At this point in the comic, he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar to his own. Then again, Wild probably beforehand knew that they were too self-absorbed to give a shit about their friend. Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
• On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime are unflattering photoshoots.
• Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an underage sex slave that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu don't give even the tiniest of shits about this gross violation of human rights, more concerned about the dickgirl pictures.
• After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
• The 19th Amendment, which secures the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't apply to CWC-ville, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
• Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to assist in nude protests are dumb.

Sonichu #8

• The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for pretty much every protagonist character to immediately trust someone who was only a few months ago working for two of the biggest criminals on the planet.
• Magi-chan gives Bubbles an overly broad estimate (2 to 5000 fathoms) of where to search for the Sonichu Ball, insensitive to how difficult this makes Bubbles' task. Nonetheless, she manages to find it in only a few minutes. Either she can swim at several times the speed of sound or our author just sucks with numbers.
• Blake decides just to flat-out fuck without condoms because Silvana-Bubbles decides that they'd just get in the way. Either he was just pointlessly buying the condoms or they don't think that avoid STDs/pregnancy is worth getting in the way of their Hanky-Panky.
• Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
• This is not the heroes' fault but the Dating Education class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion is unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost gets a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
• The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names.
• Reginald Sneasel is a shithead. He lets down his IM partner in class because of his Layla obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, and sabotages school equipment. This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical hapless jealous antagonist romantic comedies thrive upon, but he's clearly meant to be a sympathetic character.

Sonichu #9

• Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's underpants and turns into a drooling pervert.
• Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.

See Also

• Chris and writing
• CWCVille - For a more in-depth analysis of the municipal failings of Chris's primary setting.