Difference between revisions of "Attraction Sign"

Revision as of 08:03, 28 October 2014

“	The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of	”
Chris, talking in third person.^[1]

An artist's rendition of the sign.

Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.

Chris uses an Attraction Sign during his Love Quest to get the attention of boyfriend-free girls. Incredibly, the sight of a fat, sweaty, smelly manchild soliciting sex with a piece of cardboard has not enticed any ladies.

An early version ran "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman"^[2], but more information about Chris (and demands about his partner) soon found their way onto the sign.

Signs

The Sign, Mark 1

The original sign, created in 2003 when Chris first started his Love Quest at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and lulzy of them all.

The original Attraction Sign.

21 and Single White Male...

-Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled

-Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life

-Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -_He's lonely_

...Seeking a CUTE ^♀18-21 SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION

*18-21 years of age *does _not_ already have a boyfriend *Single

-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area

*Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality

*Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle

[image of Sonichu's face]_© ➨

If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

(And to all MEN with girlfriends, except marrieds and blacks, go jump off a cliff)

Have a nice day ☺

Chris had other ideas beyond signs, but said that "Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; THEY COST MONEY."

The Sign through the ages

Plan B: Use a Yu-Gi-Oh! card.

The main reason there are so many variations of the sign is because Mary Lee Walsh kept confiscating them. Chris waged war by creating MySpace and Facebook accounts, then printing new signs and plastering them all over campus (only to be torn down in turn by Mary).^[3]

Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a Nintendo DS.
Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls.
Sign from age 23.
Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign.

Hiatus

Discouraged by Barb, Chris retired the sign proper some time before August 2009:

“	During all this, I learned from my mother that the sign made me look retarded, and eventually, I did away with the sign.	”
Chris^[4]

In spite of this, the sign would soon make its return in various incarnations.

Return of the Sign

In June 2010, Chris wore a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and an exposed bra saying "Want Woman!" over his large gut, a lazy and frank form of the Sign.^[5] While this display is (even) less pleasant and more direct than the original Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to boyfriend-free girls what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out-of-touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous sense of entitlement and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.

A few weeks later, on 4 July 2010, Chris attempted to attract an unfortunate woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused some trolls to assume Chris was beginning to devolve into some sort of caveman.

Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at Fridays After Five again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the original-style Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that children shouldn't be exposed to him in his sports bra.

On 16 July 2010, Chris again terrorized the poor women of Charlottesville at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".^[5] He also employed a portable mini fan and a hula hoop, in what experts believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool.

In a February 2012 Facebook status update, Chris mentioned that he plans to wear a sign around his neck that says, "If you like me, tell me!"^[6]. Whether or not he actually did this was never documented.

Comeback?

Attraction sign as of July 2014

An April 2012 Facebook status revealed that Chris plans to go back to his roots in stalking innocent women in public with the sign.

“	The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'.	”
Chris^[7]

He later revealed in another note that he was lying in an attempt to "troll the trolls". Obviously, it didn't work.^[8]

On July 2014, his OkCupid account was revived, which resulted in a few new photos of Chris. One of these photos showcases a new version of the sign (made out of Legos) stating "HEY LADIES I'M SINGLE PLEASE ASK ME OUT". Despite this, it is unknown if he plans to return to using it in public.^[9]

Sources

[1] List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica

[2] White knight E-mails

[3] User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens

[4] User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search

[FAF-5] 5.0 ^5.1 Fridays After Five

[6] Facebook statuses

[7] April 2012 Facebook posts#I have decided

[8] April 2012 Facebook posts#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D

[9] OkCupid#LevelUpKing Profile

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 [[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]]
-[[Chris]] uses an '''Attraction Sign''' during his [[Love Quest]] to get the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s. Surprisingly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly manchild]] soliciting with an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on da ladies.
+[[Chris]] uses an '''Attraction Sign''' during his [[Love Quest]] to get the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s. Incredibly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly manchild]] soliciting sex with a piece of cardboard has not enticed any ladies.
-An early version ran "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman."<ref>[[White knight E-mails]]</ref>
+An early version ran "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman"<ref>[[White knight E-mails]]</ref>, but more information about Chris (and demands about his partner) soon found their way onto the sign.
@@ Line 36: / Line 36: @@
 [[Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.|thumb]]
-One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>
+The main reason there are so many variations of the sign is because [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] accounts, then printing new signs and plastering them all over campus (only to be torn down in turn by Mary).<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>
 <center><gallery>
@@ Line 46: / Line 46: @@
 ==Hiatus==
-Chris deserted the sign for a brief period.
+Discouraged by Barb, Chris retired the sign proper some time before August 2009:
 {{quote|During all this, I learned from [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] that the sign made me look [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.|Chris<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search]]</ref>}}
+In spite of this, the sign would soon make its return in various incarnations.
 ==Return of the Sign==
-In [[June 2010]], Chris wore a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing [[Muscle bra|his bra]] saying "Want Woman!" over [[Obesity|his flabby gut]], thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.<ref name="FAF">[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> While this display is less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to [[boyfriend-free girls]] what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.
+In [[June 2010]], Chris wore a shirt saying "'''I Enjoy Vagina'''" and an exposed [[Muscle bra|bra]] saying "'''Want Woman!'''" over [[Obesity|his large gut]], a lazy and frank form of the Sign.<ref name="FAF">[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> While this display is (even) less pleasant and more direct than the original Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to [[boyfriend-free girls]] what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out-of-touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.
-A few weeks later, on 4 [[July 2010]], Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several [[trolls]] to assume Chris was beginning to turn into some sort of caveman.
+A few weeks later, on 4 [[July 2010]], Chris attempted to attract an unfortunate woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and ''throwing it at her''. Combined with the earlier "'''Want Woman!'''" tactic, this caused some [[trolls]] to assume Chris was beginning to devolve into some sort of caveman.
-Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that children shouldn't be able to see his [[sports bra]].
+Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the original-style Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that children shouldn't be exposed to him in his [[sports bra]].
-On 16 [[July 2010]], Chris again terrorized the poor women of [[Charlottesville]] at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read "[[Homos|Friendly and Flirty Man Zone]]".<ref name="FAF"/> He also employed a portable mini fan and a [[Wikipedia:Hula hoop|hula hoop]], in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. '''Spoiler Alert:''' It didn't work.
+On 16 [[July 2010]], Chris again terrorized the poor women of [[Charlottesville]] at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read "[[Homos|'''Friendly and Flirty Man Zone''']]".<ref name="FAF"/> He also employed a portable mini fan and a [[Wikipedia:Hula hoop|hula hoop]], in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool.
-In a February 2012 Facebook status update, Chris mentioned that he plans to wear a sign around his neck that says, "If you like me, tell me!"<ref>[[Facebook statuses]]</ref>
+In a February 2012 Facebook status update, Chris mentioned that he plans to wear a sign around his neck that says, "'''If you like me, tell me!'''"<ref>[[Facebook statuses]]</ref>. Whether or not he actually did this was never documented.
 ==Comeback?==
@@ Line 68: / Line 70: @@
 {{quote|The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], WITH my sign and going into my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]] with Full On [[Megatron pistol|Guns]] [[Chris and the law|a Blazin'.]]|[[Chris]]<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#I have decided]]</ref>}}
-He later revealed in another note that he was lying in an attempt to troll the trolls. Obviously, it didn't work.<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref>
+He later revealed in another note that he was lying in an attempt to "troll the trolls". Obviously, it didn't work.<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref>
-On [[July 2014]], his [[OkCupid]] account was revived, which resulted in a few new photos of Chris. One of these photos showcases a new version of the sign (made out of [[Legos]]) stating "HEY LADIES I'M SINGLE PLEASE ASK ME OUT". Despite this, it is unknown if he plans to return to using it in public.<ref>[[OkCupid#LevelUpKing Profile]]</ref>
+On [[July 2014]], his [[OkCupid]] account was revived, which resulted in a few new photos of Chris. One of these photos showcases a new version of the sign (made out of [[Legos]]) stating "'''HEY LADIES I'M SINGLE PLEASE ASK ME OUT'''". Despite this, it is unknown if he plans to return to using it in public.<ref>[[OkCupid#LevelUpKing Profile]]</ref>
 ==See also==