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| [[Image:Bobbythebrain.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Example of a real life Manajerk.]] | | {{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}} |
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| '''Manajerks''' (a [[Wikipedia:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of "manager" and "[[jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly have to defeat.
| | [[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]] |
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| ==Manajerks in real life==
| | A '''Jerkop''' is [[Chris]]'s name for either a mall security guard or an [[Bagget|"evil" police officer]]. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21</ref> |
| Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.
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| At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Chris|patron]] who loiters in [[Target|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be [[Chris and health|unwilling to shower]] and had numbers of pairs of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Sex|intimate relations]] with young white women, it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autistic|crude and bizarre]]. In situations like these, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkops|proper authorities]] to have him escorted (forcibly, if need be) from the premises.
| | Chris included the Jerkops in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], where they served as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] |
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| ==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''== | | ==Creation of a Jerkop== |
| [[Image:Manajerks.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Fictional Manajerks.]] | | According to the [[CWCipedia]], Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris. |
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| In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkops]], [[Mary lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]{{cite}}), which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.
| | As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights. |
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| Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same Chris-hating [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.
| | Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly [[Chris and writing|cure all Jerkops everywhere forever]]. |
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| Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,{{cite}} the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Target]], [[Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonalds]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.
| | Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained. |
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| Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly refered to as the [[Get-Tar Region]] and Wal-Mart is the [[Mal-Wart Region]] and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like war lords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.
| | It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.<ref>Mailbag 5</ref><ref>Mailbag 11</ref> Given that Chris established that only [[slow-in-the-minds]] can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through. |
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| ===B-Manajerk=== | | ==Police?== |
| | {{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], page 28}} |
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| '''B-Manajerk''' is a villain featured in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]] and [[Sonichu 4|4]]. He is one of the few villains [[Chris]] has managed to defeat single-handedly.
| | [[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]] |
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| Little is known about the B-Manajerk, including his real name. What little information is available comes to us from Chris's records of their first two encounters.
| | While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal. |
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| [[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story]]
| | That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]]. |
| ''<blockquote>"June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Black]], Fat Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off." --Christian Weston Chandler</blockquote>''
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| Presumably, B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart, or a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic." One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with Pixelblocks. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.
| | While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris introduces [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez]], when Magi-Chan sends them to check [[Inos]] into a soup hotel. |
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| From Chris's account, we can infer that the B-Manajerk was most likely a very sensible, though possibly overweight, African-American male, who takes pride in his business and doesn't want smelly weirdos sitting around his restaurant playing with toys and begging for pussy.
| | ==Appearance and characteristics== |
| | [[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Some Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]] |
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| It is possible that the "B" in "B-Manajerk" stands for "black". Since no fewer than three managers interfered with his agenda that day, he most likely used these appellations to tell them apart in his story. Otherwise, we're left to conclude that "B" somehow stands for "McDonald's", which isn't entirely beyond the realm of possibility for Chris. In the Sonichu Audiobooks, Chris refers to B-Manajerk as "Black Manajerk", so the B must stand for "black".
| | Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other [[Fangs|unattractive]] [[Creepy stare|features]], such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]: |
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| Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could: by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his fantasy life.
| | {{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}} |
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| [[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|150px|left|Video Game B-Manajerk]][[Image:B-manajerk_real.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions]] | | Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an [[Chris and art|even simpler fashion]] than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles. |
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| The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in ''Sonichu'' #3 and reused in ''Sonichu'' #4. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "Mal-Wart Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, vaguely reminiscent of Goldar from "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers". He wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the Jerkhief, as Chris describes in his journal entry. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.
| | Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including [[Jerkhief]]s and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building</ref> |
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| Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "anime wings" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the power-up from Super Mario 64. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his Love Quest and the absolute necessity of his Attraction Sign.
| | ==Jerkop variants== |
| | [[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']] |
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| The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the time void.
| | As well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics. |
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| In addition to his flight-enabling armor, the B-Manajerk is armed with a pair of large guns, and a golden battle axe.
| | ===Janekops=== |
| | Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier. |
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| Pixelblocks,
| | Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word [[JERKS]] to describe anyone refers to men exclusively. |
| Sky uppercuts,and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
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| ===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby=== | | ===Mecha-Jerkops=== |
| [[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|Merried Seinor Comic, as first seen in ''Sonichu 3''.]] | | [[Image:Mecha-jerkops.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.]] |
| [[Image:MSCsavestheday.png|thumb|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler|procreating]].]]
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| '''Merried Seinor Comic''' (not to be confused with the [[Giant Penis Comic]]) is possibly the most poorly spelled name in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. Merried Seinor Comic is derived from '''Kirby McDerbie''', who banned him from [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for over a year.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/194.jpg from Chris's DVD of Fail]</ref>
| | Robotic minions of the [[Jerkops]], the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']]. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect. Because of this, and Chris's [[Chris and art|inconsistent depiction]] of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named. |
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| The Merried Seinor Comic is an unusually gregarious opponent of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the [[McDonald's|McDuo]] of the City of M-C-D-Ville of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]], along with his partner, the [[B-Manajerk]], and first appears in ''[[Sonichu 3]]''. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg|The Black Knight scene from Sonichu 3]]</ref> Chris's version of events should be taken with a [[Autism|grain of salt]], however, as he then proceeds to be hogtied by [[Bagget]], hung over a pool of [[Love quest|boiling shame and loneliness]] at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]].
| | In [[Sub-Episode 4]], "McAttack Part 1", [[B-Manajerk]] explains that the [[Jerkhief]] informed him of [[Chris]] and his [[Love Quest]]. To help the [[Manajerks]] at [[Mal-Wart]] defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who had come to aid Chris in his battle. |
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| In ''[[Sonichu 7]]'', the character is even more inexplicably described as '''Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby''', although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. After being rescued by his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], he issues a rematch against Bagget, with strong words of [[Honest Content|Voluntarity and Valor]], and then proceeds to beat him up with [[Magi-Chan|Psychic Punches]] to the gut and jaw.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/195.jpg from Chris's DVD of Fail]</ref>
| | [[Chris and writing|The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue]]. |
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| Why Chris uses this bizarre turn of phrase to describe him, particularly the man's seniority as a comic, is still unclear. There has, however, been speculation that Chris may have meant to say "Married Senior Comic."
| | ==Equipment== |
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| | {{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] cover}} |
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| ===W-M-Manajerk===
| | [[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol, cleverly disguised as a [[duck]].]] |
| [[Image:WalMartStoreManager.jpg|thumb|You local, friendly [[Mal-Wart|Wal Mart]] manager or a villainous, [[Kick the Autistic]] playing '''W-M-Manajerk'''? You decide.]] | |
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| '''W-M-Manajerk''' is a villain featured in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]] and [[Sonichu 4|4]]. So great was his power that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] was forced to summon the aid of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] to defeat him.
| | Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56</ref> |
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| Little is known about the W-M-Manajerk, including his real name. What little information is available comes to us from Chris's records of their initial encounter.
| | In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. [[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a [[Power Rangers]]-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s electrical attacks. |
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| {{Quotebox|"June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Black]], Fat [[Jerk]] (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my [[Nintendo]] DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the [[B-Manajerk]] was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “[[Chris and his Ego|I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.]]” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off." --Christian Weston Chandler}}
| | The Jerkops also employ several [[Transformers]] for transportation and battle, collectively known as the [[Decepti-Clones]]. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. |
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| Translation: After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonald's, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonald's, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his weeaboo magic spells at him. The part about his car is probably an embellishment, but it's hard to be sure.
| | ==Weaknesses== |
| | [[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|left|thumb|150px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.]] |
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| Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his fantasy life. Apparently worried about legal ramifications, Chris shortened "Wal-Mart Manajerk" to "W-M-Manajerk", and history was made. Pathetic, shitty history. (Ironically, the store in the comics is called "Mal-Wart", completely ruining the meaning behind the "W-M".)
| | As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "[[Minor CWC-isms|Sourdough region]]." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their [[Obesity|fat]] absorbs the impact. |
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| In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his ED page in March 2008, he implies he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from the McAttack chapters of Sonichu of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be crippled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.
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| The W-M-Manajerk first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in ''Sonichu'' #3 and reused in ''Sonichu'' #4. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on Richard Nixon in ''[[Futurama]]''. In that cartoon, Nixon, having somehow been resurrected and kept alive as a head in a jar, runs for President of Earth, using a robot body to circumvent rules against his seeking a third term. Why Chris would steal this idea of all things is a mystery, unless he somehow sensed that a comic about himself being girly-slapping by an ordinary Wal-Mart employee would have been too dull.
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| [[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|300px|Something we've all wanted to do at one time or another.]]
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| The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would.
| | ==Appearances in comic== |
| | | *[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]] |
| Just as Chris begins to lose hope, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to one of his home-made Yugi-Oh! cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.
| | *[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]] |
| | | *[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]] |
| Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into their respective [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] fursonas, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.
| | *[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]] |
| | | *[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]] |
| Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, are agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and its President [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the headjar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.
| | *[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]] |
| | | *[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]] |
| W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the time void.
| | *[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]] |
| | | *[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]] |
| Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is pretty damn strong, actually. This is evident through it surviving several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a Soda Fountain.
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| The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head.
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| Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. It's possible that [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] could take him out pretty easily, but this remains to be seen.
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| Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.
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| ===ScotPalazzo===
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| Possibly the first Manajerk Chris had encountered, [[ScotPalazzo]] was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly redesigned to resemble [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo]] from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love for his mother's murder-suicide.
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| [[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]
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| [[Image:Facepalm.JPG|thumb|Lord IlPalazzo, upon hearing that his retarded brother was going to be a main villain in an American comic book.]]
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| {{quote|Manajerk of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|FA-Square]], Sho-Mall region. He Banned all [[virgin]]s from his region.|Character description, [[Sonichu 8]]}}
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| The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, '''ScotPalazzo''' was the first [[Manajerk]] Chris had encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the [[manager]] of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region in [[Sonichu 4]].
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| Chris's experiences in Fashion Square Mall were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until Sub-Episode 6, when he expressed envy toward Chris for his made-up TV show "CWC's Backyard Safari".
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| Scott was clearly redesigned to resemble Lord Il Palazzo from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love for his mother's murder-suicide. Despite having real motivation, he never actually did anything and presumably had this hatred cured when [[Sonichu]] cured all the other [[jerkop]]s.
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| ===Turdijerk===
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| [Sub-Episode 7]] detailed Chris's attempts to make a fresh start in the local [[Target]] store, which had just opened in his area. Paying a single dollar, he would receive a soda at their snack bar, which he would refill over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store. The incident was dramatized by Chris in Sub-Episodes 7 and 8, entitled "Off-Target". Ironically, by changing the name of the location to "The Get-Tar Region", Chris undermined the supposed cleverness of his title.
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| ===Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
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| [Sub-Episode 7]] detailed Chris's attempts to make a fresh start in the local [[Target]] store, which had just opened in his area. Paying a single dollar, he would receive a soda at their snack bar, which he would refill over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store. The incident was dramatized by Chris in Sub-Episodes 7 and 8, entitled "Off-Target". Ironically, by changing the name of the location to "The Get-Tar Region", Chris undermined the supposed cleverness of his title.
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| ===B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, and W-M-Manajerk===
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| Banished from the Fashion Square Mall, Chris resumed his Love Quest at the local Wal-Mart, until the management there called the police and had him tossed out. The incident was dramatized in Sub-Episodes 4 and 5 ([[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] and [[Sonichu 5|#5]], now set in "M-C-D-Ville of the "Mal-Wart Region", and the three Manajerks re-imagined as bumbling fools with powerful cybernetic bodies. [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], collectively known as the McDuo, attacked Chris first, and after they were defeated, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] stepped in to finish the job. [[Image:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Manajerks of the Get-Tar Region]] With help from [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]], Chris emerged victorious, and discovered that all three Manajerks were in the service of Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC.
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| ===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
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| [[Sub-Episode 7]] detailed Chris's attempts to make a fresh start in the local [[Target]] store, which had just opened in his area. Paying a single dollar, he would receive a soda at their snack bar, which he would refill over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store. The incident was dramatized by Chris in Sub-Episodes 7 and 8, entitled "Off-Target". Ironically, by changing the name of the location to "The Get-Tar Region", Chris undermined the supposed cleverness of his title. | |
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| Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. "Turdijerk" seems especially juvenile, even for Chris, while "Trebor Capman" might actually be "Robert" Capman, given his love for reversing names. "Turdijerk" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent, showing once again that [[Chris and racism|Chris sucks at tolerance]].
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| ==The future==
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| By the time [[Megan Schroeder]] came into his life, Chris had abandoned the classic tactics of his Love Quest, disavowing the [[Attraction Sign]] as "stupid" in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. This may be a "chicken-and-egg" situation, however. By [[2006]], Chris had most likely been banned from his usual haunts, and may have abandoned his sign because he had nowhere else to display it. Since attracting the attention of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Chris has shifted his focus to the [[Internet]] for fame and [[china]]. And while his search for both have been in vain, he has at least failed to incur the wrath of a Manajerk capable of kicking him off the Internet for good. And so, IRL-based villains like the Manajerks appear to have been phased out in favor of [[troll]]-inspired characters like [[Blanca]], [[Robert Simmons V]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Clyde Cash]].
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| {{-}}
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| ==References== | | ==References== |
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| ==See also== | | ==See also== |
| *[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]] | | {{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}} |
| | *[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]] |
| | *[[Manajerks]] |
| *[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] | | *[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] |
| *[[Niggos]] | | *[[Chris and the Law]] |
| *[[Jerkops]] | | *[[Jerkops]] |
| *[[PVCCitizens]] | | *[[Jerkhief]] |
| *[[Love Quest]] | | *[[Manajerks]] |
| *[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]] | | |
| *[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]] | | *[[Jerkhief]] |
| *[[Target|Get-Tar Region]] | | *[[Bagget]] |
| | *[[Punislav]] |
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| {{Sonichu}} | | {{Sonichu}} |
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| [[Category:Manajerks]]
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| [[Category:Villains]] | | [[Category:Villains]] |
| [[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
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| “
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That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".
|
”
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A Jerkop is Chris's name for either a mall security guard or an "evil" police officer. The word itself is a portmanteau of "JERK" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called Janekops.[1]
Chris included the Jerkops in his comics, where they served as the villainous private army of Mary Lee Walsh, until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in Sonichu #10
Creation of a Jerkop
According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending Slaweel Ryam's school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.
As seen in Chris's earlier documentation, the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a hard time reproducing. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "slow-in-the-minds", and others of lesser intelligence. It wasn't until Sonichu #9 where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have managed to actually kill several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.
Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in Sonichu #10, when Ultra Sonichu uses his nigh-omnipotence to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.
Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in Sonichu #4, seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained.
It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.[2][3] Given that Chris established that only slow-in-the-minds can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through.
Police?
| “
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And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!
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”
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| Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, Sonichu #5, page 28
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"Police-Women" on Chris's
dating blacklist
While a common misconception is that Chris is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in Sonichu #5 that brown (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are TRUE and HONEST. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.
That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, Marcus Baggett was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the law.
While CWCville has a police department in Sonichu, they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In Sonichu #5 Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in Sonichu #9 they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in Sonichu #10, Chris introduces Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.
Appearance and characteristics
Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other unattractive features, such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to Mary Lee Walsh and the PVCC. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in Sonichu #4:
| “
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Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.
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”
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Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the Sonichu comics. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.
Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the CWCipedia. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.[4]
Jerkop variants
You have the right to remain
sexayyyyyAs well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics.
Janekops
Female Jerkops. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in Sonichu #4, by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at PVCC in Sonichu #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.
Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word JERKS to describe anyone refers to men exclusively.
Mecha-Jerkops
Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.
Robotic minions of the Jerkops, the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in Sonichu #3. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect. Because of this, and Chris's inconsistent depiction of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named.
In Sub-Episode 4, "McAttack Part 1", B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief informed him of Chris and his Love Quest. To help the Manajerks at Mal-Wart defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the Merried Seinor Comic. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by Darkbind Sonichu, who had come to aid Chris in his battle.
The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue.
Equipment
A pistol, cleverly disguised as a
duck.
Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.[5]
In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The Jerkhief carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a Power Rangers-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of Chris-Chan Sonichu's electrical attacks.
The Jerkops also employ several Transformers for transportation and battle, collectively known as the Decepti-Clones. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in Sonichu #4.
Weaknesses
This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.
As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is a good kick in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the Jerkhief may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.
Appearances in comic
References
See also
| Sonichu
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Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Jerkops!
