Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc

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I AM SOOOOOOOO OFFENDED!

Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc (pronounced [ɹɛldnæk ˈnɑtsoː ˈneɪtsɚk][1]), formerly Naitsirhc Rodriguez,[2] is the "evil twin" of Christian Weston Chandler (despite being unrelated). He was originally introduced as a member of Team Rocket and the creator of Black Sonichu, but the mystical powers unleashed by Christian's discovery of the Anchuent Prophecy revealed to him his true nature and his ability to transform into Reldnahc Ha-Taque. To this day, he is still straighter than Chris.

Since discovering that he is the opposite number of Christian, Reldnahc has embraced anything that is anathema to the Mayor of CWCville. Most notably in this regard, Reldnahc is the only openly gay character in Sonichu (Fun fact: Chris lets Reldnahc point out that they differ because of his openness, not his homosexuality).[citation needed]

Being Chris's exact opposite, one might be forgiven for assuming this means Reldnahc is truthful, humble, industrious, continent, athletic, hygienic, prudent, frugal, chivalrous, experienced, talented, self-sufficient, innovative, even-tempered and straight. Sadly, this proves not to be the case.

Background

With everything else on his plate, he still found time to write a self-help book. This man TRULY IS the diametric opposite of CWC.
As a member of Team Rocket, and son of Giovanni, he has caught, or stolen, all rare Pokemon. He yerns [sic] to catch Sonichu.
[[:Image:382-ACNaitsirhcBck.jpg|Naitsirhc Animal Crossing card]]

Although little is known about how Christian developed the character, it can be assumed that the idea of spelling his own name in reverse for the name of a villain immediately appealed to his colossal narcissism. Reldnahc debuted in Sonichu #0 as the son/lackey of Team Rocket boss Giovanni, belying his greater significance to the Sonichu canon. However, Chris appears to have always colored the character's eyes red and orange (in contrast to his own green and blue eyes, the former two being the opposite of the latter two on the color wheel), foreshadowing his later role as Chris's dark reflection.

Much as Crystal represents how Christian's inner speculation about what he'd be like if he were female, Reldnahc clearly represents what Chris thinks he would happen if he surrendered himself to the temptations of sexual deviancy. Chief among these temptations is, of course, homosexuality, but also of note is Reldnahc's penchant for partial nudity ("Put a shirt on!"), torn jeans, unusual body piercings, and willingness to ejaculate wherever he pleases. According to Chris, Reldnahc's costume in Sonichu #6 is based on that of Key, a bishōnen J-rock star in Excel Saga, whose sexuality unnerved Chris.[3]

I'm straight, he's a homo.
Mumble 11

Fictional biography

Reldnahc Ha-Taque
File:Dissidia artwork kuja.png
Reldnahc's codpiece has found popularity among quite a few villians.

Acting on behalf of Team Rocket, Naitsirhc Giovanni first menaced CWCville shortly after Sonichu first evolved from a Pikachu. While Sonichu and Rosechu were shopping at CWCville Mall, Naitsirhc unleashed a Zapdos to abduct Rosechu as bait to capture Sonichu. Provoked into action, Sonichu quickly confused and overpowered the Zapdos with his Double Team attack, and forced Naitsirhc to withdraw. Naitsirhc vowed he would capture Sonichu someday.

Naitsirhc did not come away empty-handed. The tissue samples and surveillance photos he obtained were used by his adoptive father, Giovanni, to convince Robotnik to form an alliance. Together, Robotnik and Team Rocket aspired to create a clone of Sonichu. However, Team Rocket researcher Bill the Scientist accidentally spilled cherry cola onto Sonichu's DNA sample, creating unexpected side effects in the clone. Naitsirhc was the first to notice the clone's darker complexion, and named the new creature "Black Sonichu". Direct authority over the clone was assigned to Naitsirhc, who asserted himself as Blachu's master and coordinated field missions for the shadowy Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Naitsirhc first sent Black Sonichu to kidnap Rosechu, again using the girl as bait for Sonichu, which might well have succeeded if not for Sonic the Hedgehog. In his second outing, Blachu was ordered by Naitsirhc to obtain the Legendary Master Sunstone from Flame the Sunbird, another mission resulting only in failure.

Naitsirhc's subsequent activities would remain unclear until the day Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon invaded CWCville with their army of Jerkops. During this battle, Chris-Chan Sonichu was pulled into Graduon's Dark Mirror Hole, triggering a part of the Anchuent Prophecy:

When the original medal is submerged in darkness, the dark medal will appear, and he who's [sic] name is reverse, will transform into the ultimate dark being.

At the same moment in Viridian City, Naitsirhc was suddenly able to hear Christian's thoughts, and a Black Sonichu version of Christian's medallion materialized on his chest. By the time Black Sonichu discovered his master's condition, he had completely transformed into the foretold ultimate dark being: a green Sonic recolor in a codpiece. Naitsirhc now desired to rule the world and kill Christian using the seven Sonichu Balls. According to Black Sonichu, Naitsirhc began acting rudely to Giovanni and insulting Blachu at every opportunity. Most diabolically, Naitsirhc soiled Black Sonichu's rocket boots with whipped cream (originally some creamy stuff). That's some ultimate dark being.

Naitsirhc launches his Special Mangina Attack.

Naitsirhc, now styling himself as "Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc", now possessed the same abilities as Christian, including the power to transform into an Electric Hedgehog Furfag form, Reldnahc Ha-Taque (by invoking the words "Dark Shocker Power"), and the ability to fire the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha's evil twin, the Quee-fee-mae-mo-bo-bo[4], whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. While Christian and his allies were discussing the need to obtain the Sonichu Balls to rescue Crystal, Black Sonichu and Reldnahc broke into a jewelry store at the CWCville Mall to steal one of the precious Balls. In their respective hedgehog forms, Chris and Reldnahc fought a lengthy, strenuous battle at high-speed, culminating at Manchester High School, where the unexpected return of Bionic the Hedgehog saved Christian from certain doom. A blow to the head from Bionic's basketball knocked Reldnahc against the gymnasium bleachers, leaving him in a coma for ten weeks. Upon recovering, Reldnahc swore revenge against Bionic.

Naitsirhc was next seen attending a conference of the enemies of Christian Chandler, held to discuss plans following Christian's disappearance in the time void. He was among a group of evil Electric Hedgehogs that terrorized the city, along with Silvana and Wes-Li. During a confrontation with Bionic, he attempted to get his revenge with a embarrassment curse, but Bionic was somehow able to grab the ethereal energy like a basketball and throw it back, causing Naitsirhc to shit his pants. He retreated in embarrassment, vowing vengeance again. For whatever reason, Chris is really playing up Bionic as a rival to Naitsirhc; if he's put any thought into this at all, it might be because Sonichu #9 ends with Chris writing himself out of the comic, supposedly forever. Although he's back in Sonichu #10, with an even bigger plot significance than ever before.

Toward the end of Sonichu #9, Reldnahc is injected with the gay vaccine and, since apparently one can only access the Anchuent powers by being homo, robbed of his ability to turn into Reldnahc Ha-Taque. Assuming this has driven the evil from Reldnahc, Chris has him warped away to Kel, where he shall never be seen again, and the two can fall in (STRAIGHT!) love. Which is totally just that easy to predict.

References

See also

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc!

External links