Angelica
| “ | Angelica is a religious type; she feels peace and tranquility often from the presence of God and Jesus and her healthy life in general. | ” |
| Chris, describing the Sneasel-fucking whore in Mailbag 7. | ||
Angelica is a rosechu, and a member of the Chaotic Combo that formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between Super Sonic and a Pikachu. She is a flying/electric type, which would probably not work since electric attacks do horrifying damage to flying types. Despite the fact that she was hatched in 2004, Chris insists that she is over 18 and therefore making porn of her masturbating doesn’t make him a pedophile.
Angelica was brought up in a strict convent, with nuns being the only family she ever knew. Her painfully bleak upbringing clashes with her apparently insatiable sexual appetites, no doubt causing her massive tension and guilt. The fierce repression of her youth, in the cold surroundings of the brutal convent, led to her later rebellion which tragically took the form of her indoctrination into the Chaotic Combo. She went from diligently worshiping Jesus to being nothing but a masturbatory aid for her demented creator, another lobotomized beast rattling around in the bird-cage of Chris's mind.
Like other rosechus, she has no discernable personality whatsoever, aside from a verbal tic ("Lord") that Chris claims is indicative of a pious personality. Chris calls Angelica a "peacemaker", which is curious because the folks of CWCville normally don't end up in any kind of quarrels; when they do end up in quarrels, Angelica is seemingly powerless to prevent that or offer any real advice.
She is a combination of 3 characters:
Comic appearances
Sonichu Babies
Angelica's Egg came into the possession of a group of nuns, who nurtured the egg until its hatching, revealing a small, white, winged Rosey. After learning how to fly under the watch of nuns, she evolved one night in her sleep - on said night also being secretly visited by Chris-chan, who gave her shoes and a scrunchie - but nothing to cover up her breasts and genitals...
When Hedgehogs Meet
Angelica meets the Chaotic Combo moments after planting a flower garden and viewing it from above, when all of a sudden, Blake and Punchy come crashing through, shortly followed by the rest of the rainbow retards. After a short discussion, Angelica, along with her newfound team, proceed to beat the hell out of Blake (like a good Christian would) and celebrate accordingly. It is established that Angelica's main mode of attack and defense is through using her wings rather than any electric powers.
Sonichu 5
She has brief cameos in this issue but no speaking lines because she has no personality at all.
Sonichu 6
In this issue, Angelica pretends to be concerned about Chris's imaginary twin sister getting trapped in the mirror one minute, and the next minute she talks about Bionic the Hedgehog’s great basketball skills. She and Bubbles think to themselves “What a dreamboat”, smoldering with barely contained lust.
Episode 18 Prologue
Here we see the Chaotic Combo celebrating their 19th birthday on February 2, 2008. This is a lame ass attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedophile.
Spring break
While sunbathing with Rosechu Angelica makes the mistake of asking bubbles why she doesn't need sunscreen, and is subjected to a long boring lecture. After Blake shows up and kicks sand at them before being led away by Bubbles, Angelica and Rosechu giggle about Blake's faux macho attitude.
Date Ed
While absent for most of the episode, Angelica shows up on the last few pages to hook up with Reginald Sneasel for no good reason. Apparently she's only attracted to pathetic losers. She's also an extremely poor judge of character, calling an obsessive liar who partakes in acts of vandalism "honest" and "sweet".
CWC Defense
Angelica is shown waking up in bed with Reginald at her church home, removing all doubt that she's a dirty whore. She's later seen taking down several flying enemies. She precisely aims the wreckage to form a Pentagram around her church. So much for being a good Christian.
Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
Angelica reads the Asperpedia Four their "last rights", and is one of the people pushing the buttons on Alec's ten-button electric chair. She thinks "may God have mercy", implying she does not have any, which is again quite problematic from theological point of view.
Love Quest
Angelica went through the first 8 Sonichu books not showing any interest in any of the male characters, before finally shacking with Reginald Sneasel in Episode 19 after he called her cute. Given that Reginald is basically a Chris stand-in, it's generally assumed by trolls that Chris would like his relationship to start in a similar manner: a girl throwing herself at him not in spite of the fact that he's pathetic, but because of it.
Rule 34
Chris drew Rule 34 of Angelica, which he uploaded to Encyclopedia Dramatica, hoping that it would encourage Jason Kendrick Howell et al. to remove his article. Instead, his plan backfired, resulting in an increased interest in him and his work.
The picture in question was originally included with the caption "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!!", suggesting that Angelica has a penchant for masturbating in church. Some believe that the real reason for Chris's dismissal from Grace Baptist Church was a similar incident, in which the line was repeated to him, but there is no evidence to back up this claim.
Angelica's struggle with sexual sin might be an insight into Chris's own struggle between his Christianity and his sexual desires. While Chris claims to be a Christian, he acts similarly to Angelica, maintaining a veneer of piousness yet living in a prison of sex dolls, masturbation, pornography, and complete submission to his sexuality.
Gallery
Chris's attempt to show his congregation that these Satanic card games that tempt children these days can have good Christian characters too.
The power of prayer... it does nothing to relieve the crapfest.
While the nuns are kneeling demurely in devotion, Angelica splays her china wide open for GodJesus.
