Sonichu (species)

Male and female sonichu. The female is commonly referred to as rosechu.

Sonichu is the name used for Chris's imaginary species of electric hedgehog pokémon. Although the term sonichu can be used as a general name for all creatures in this species, it is usually only used for the male gendered specimen. When referring to female sonichu, the term rosechu is used.

Trolls tend to prefer to dispense with the distinction, instead using the abbreviated term Chu to refer to both, after a practice popularized by Alec.

By having an entire species have the same name as a "unique" being and giving all of its members the same surname, Chris has only served to confound his readers, mess up continuity, and demonstrate that he's a lazy and unimaginative bastard.

Appearance

Sonichus generally resemble bipedal hedgehogs in appearance, though they have elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare sonichu feet may make it impossible for a sonichu to stand without them. While a typical sonichu has yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones (if we are to assume that the original Sonichu is the template), sonichus can come in a variety of recolors. Sometimes, a sonichu displays other variations, such as altered ear tips, slanted eyes, or a different tail altogether. The fur color of a sonichu is suceptible to alteration by chemicals such as cherry cola.

Behavior

Though clearly not very intelligent, sonichus are sapient and are capable of many of the same skills as humans: Tool usage, speech, and social interaction. In their natural habitat, sonichus fill a number of societal roles: vigilante groups, radio announcers, and construction workers, using whatever supernatural abilites granted to them.

Sonichus are constantly searching for a mate, and perhaps with some assistance will "fall in love" (read: settle for in order to have sex with) with the first rosechu they see (assuming they are heterosexual). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, sonichu-rosechu mates completely lack tension or dischord, suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the extremely low capabilities of said spawn, this may be a necessity.

Sonichus and reproduction

A sonichu's penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's heat would kill sperm cells, thus, unless sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, sonichus should be sterile. (Unfortunately, they are not.). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that people who have no knowledge of biology should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Chris has mentioned that a sonee is born as the result of intercourse between a sonichu and a rosechu, or some combination of the above and a ditto. Presumably a ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex sonichu.

Sonichus and evolution

Sonichu evolution chart

The infant sonichu is first born in egg-form from a mother rosechu. When the egg hatches, a sonee comes out. This infant pokémon can already have a certain sub-type; Wild, for instance, was born as a green sonee with a grass subtype. After being nurtured for some time, the sonee then evolves into his sonichu form. Further evolution can lead to the sonichu becoming a Metonic, when traded whilst holding steel gloves, or to becoming an Ultra Sonichu, when brought into contact with the seven Sonichu Balls.

Despite all being electric in their primary type, no sonichu other than the original and his clone has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

List of known sonichus

• Sonichu
• Blake
• Wild
• Punchy
• Magi-Chan
• Chris-Chan Sonichu
• Wes-Li Sonichu
• Darkbind
• Jamsta
• BlazeBob Sonichu
• Metal Sonichu (a metal replica)

See also

• Rosechu (species)