Main Page

Welcome to the CWCki! The encyclopedia about Christian Weston Chandler . WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR! We currently have 2,668 articles...and counting! *Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*

Da Update It is currently February 2019. For all current updates about Chris, visit the Kiwi Farms. Presently, the CWCki lacks enough editors to maintain all of its updates, leading to "Da Update" being discontinued on 11 October 2018. Articles are still updated when possible by the remaining editors. Unfortunately, registration for new users has been disabled since 21 August 2018, due to abuse from spambots.

Quote of the Now “ You just elected Sentinel Fucked Up Prime into office after knowing what he did last term. 🤬 ” Chris on Twitter, comparing Donald Trump to a character from Transformers

Begging Counter Do not donate to or buy anything from Chris: he lies about needing money and habitually neglects his customers and supporters (and worse). It has been… 393 days since Chris last begged for money. Record Streak: 1,232 days 457 days since Chris last uploaded pages to meet his (formerly) paid obligations to the Sonichu comic. Record Streak: 1,877 days 5,537 days since Chris last applied for a job. Record Streak: 5,537 days An Etsy customer gambled that Chris would deliver and lost, still bitter over it three years later. Article of the Now In October 2016, Chris visited some of the stores at which he is banned and asked the management to sign a contract to unban him. The documents were leaked to Kiwi Farms on 13 October. Chris's attitude to bans appears to have remained the same as his reaction to his ban from the GAMe PLACe nearly a decade earlier, using ridiculous negotiation tactics to tackle bans that he just cannot get over. These documents are also a big example of his egotistical nature and deteriorating sense of reality post-Tomgirl, believing that businesses (that'll be better without his patronage) will sign a legal document that will unban him and prevent them from being able to call the police against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from criminal prosecution, thus making it null and void), all because a violent, egotistical lolcow believes that not signing would prove that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****", comparing them to Donald Trump. He also believes that the reasons that he was banned are now "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince Michael Snyder that he needs to "forgive and forget"), and that the "Human Rights Campaign" would be on his side since he's now a ""L"esbian "T"ranswoman", the L and T from LGBTQ. (More...)

Did You Know ... that even now, Chris does not think he is fat? ... that Sarah Jackson, Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by Optimus Prime? ... that Chris loves to give dating advice to high schoolers in spite of never having been on a real date as a teenager or an adult? ... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his sweetheart amid a watery maze? ... and that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams? ... that Chris recorded himself screaming at a toilet? ... that Chris has a fourth love doll, Yumi? ... that Chris claims to weigh 216 pounds? ... that Sega knows about Chris's attempts to change Sonic's arms back? ... that Chris rates jail a 2/5? This Day in Christory Today in Christory, in 2003, Chris films his hour-long Animal Crossing Documentary, showing us how well he uses both his time and Monthly tugboat. (more...) In 2023, Kiwi Farms figures out and leaks Chris's home address, revealing he is located in Big Island, VA. (more...)

Picture of the Now

Video of the Now Click to load content