Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

“

That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

”

A REAL AMERICAN HERO

A Jerkop is Chris's name for either a mall security guard or an "evil" police officer. The word itself is a portmanteau of "JERK" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called Janekops.^[1]

Chris included the Jerkops in his comics, where they served as the villainous private army of Mary Lee Walsh, until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in Sonichu #10

Creation of a Jerkop

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending Slaweel Ryam's school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.

As seen in Chris's earlier documentation, the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a hard time reproducing. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "slow-in-the-minds", and others of lesser intelligence. It wasn't until Sonichu #9 where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have managed to actually kill several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in Sonichu #10, when Ultra Sonichu uses his nigh-omnipotence to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.

Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in Sonichu #4, seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained.

It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.^[2]^[3] Given that Chris established that only slow-in-the-minds can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through.

Police?

“	And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!	”
Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, Sonichu #5, page 28

"Police-Women" on Chris's dating blacklist

While a common misconception is that Chris is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in Sonichu #5 that brown (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are TRUE and HONEST. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.

That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, Marcus Baggett was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the law.

While CWCville has a police department in Sonichu, they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In Sonichu #5 Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in Sonichu #9 they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in Sonichu #10, Chris introduces Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.

Appearance and characteristics

Some Jerkops watch Chris-Chan Sonichu levitate in a 2004 short.

Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other unattractive features, such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to Mary Lee Walsh and the PVCC. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in Sonichu #4:

“

Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.

”

Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the Sonichu comics. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.

Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the CWCipedia. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.^[4]

Jerkop variants

You have the right to remain sexayyyyy

As well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics.

Janekops

Female Jerkops. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in Sonichu #4, by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at PVCC in Sonichu #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word JERKS to describe anyone refers to men exclusively.

Mecha-Jerkops

Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.

Robotic minions of the Jerkops, the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in Sonichu #3. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect. Because of this, and Chris's inconsistent depiction of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named.

In Sub-Episode 4, "McAttack Part 1", B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief informed him of Chris and his Love Quest. To help the Manajerks at Mal-Wart defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the Merried Seinor Comic. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by Darkbind Sonichu, who had come to aid Chris in his battle.

The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue.

Equipment

“	MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS	”
Jerkhief, Sonichu #4 cover

A pistol, cleverly disguised as a duck.

Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.^[5]

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The Jerkhief carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a Power Rangers-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of Chris-Chan Sonichu's electrical attacks.

The Jerkops also employ several Transformers for transportation and battle, collectively known as the Decepti-Clones. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in Sonichu #4.

Weaknesses

This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.

As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is a good kick in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the Jerkhief may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-In what may be the world's only attempt at cross-comic retconning, [[Chris]] attempted to alter the plot of Alec Benson Leary's ''[[Asperchu]]'' comic from within the pages of ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' during the course of his fued with him in [[January 2010]].
+{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}
-==History==
+[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
-After Alec began to include more [[List of Sonichu characters|Sonichu characters]] in his comic other than Sonichu himself, Chris quickly took notice, and much tard raging soon ensued. Whilst portraying [[Sonichu]] as [[homo]] was bad enough for Chris, apparently tarring the [[Chaotic Combo]] with the same brush was a step too far for him, and so he then decided to incorperate the Asperverse into his own comics cannon. In a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|phone conversation]] with Alec, Chris revealed that it was because he believes cartoon characters like his own to [[Chris and reality|all really exist in some parallel universe]], citing ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'' as a template for this idea, and explaining that by making a work featuring the characters from his comic, he was therefore changing that parallel world into one in which they were homos, and his characters would supposedly resent that.
-Chris's solution therefore was to [[retcon]] it in his comic that the events of ''Asperchu'' never really happened, and that all instances of his characters appearing in ''Asperchu'' were really just other Sonichus being forced to to play the characters by Alec. Makes perfect sense, right? A key component of showing this therefore, was the reader actually getting to see these actors. Thus it came to pass that Chris created six new throwaway characters from the Asperverse's versions of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. Of course, attempting to change the cannon of another author's comics without permission was nowhere near insulting enough for Chris to be satisfied, so he also placed Alec himself in the story and portrayed him as a kidnapper and [[Rape|rapist]] and stole [[Asperchu/Background#Supporting characters|several characters]] original to his comic too, just for good measure. Listed below are his bastardizations of each character, and what he did to make them that way.
+A '''Jerkop''' is [[Chris]]'s name for either a mall security guard or an [[Bagget|"evil" police officer]]. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21</ref>
-== Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo ==
+Chris included the Jerkops in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], where they served as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']]
-In the world of Asperchu, Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo are a group of heroic vigilantes fighting an underground guerrilla war in the streets of CWCville to free the town from the despotic clutches of [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and return the rightful [[Liquid Chris|Mayor]] to power. They are given much better characterization than Chris originally gave them, and just for kicks, Alec made Wild and Magi-chan [[Homos|gay]] to play off their obvious homosexual inclinations in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. Wild is seen to be in a relationship with [[Simonchu]] as a parody of his relationship with his sub-par knockoff [[Simonla]] in the main comics, and after Wild dies he also dates Magi-Chan. Over the course of the comic, the entire Combo is eventually wiped out, with Wild, Punchy and Angelica being murdered by Metal Asperchu to establish his status as a threatening villain, Bubbles covertly assassinated by [[Silvana Rosechu]] to help in an infiltration mission, and Magi-Chan later killed in the battle for [[CWCville]], also by Silvana. Sonichu survived these events, and later went on to become a villain himself.
-In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris responded to the events of Asperchu by retconning it in his own comic. After destroying the 4cent building, Chris and [[Ultra Sonichu]] then flew away to Minnesota where the Asperchu comics take place and came across the actors who portrayed the Sonichu characters in Asperchu. Chris establishes that they were in fact ''different'' Sonichus and Rosechus, with different names and identities, who just so happened to look exactly like the characters we're more familiar with. They further explain that Alec had in fact captured them and were forcing them against their will to pretend to be the Chaotic Combo, and to pretend to die, and to pretend to follow [[Liquid Chris]] among other things, for reasons that will only ever make senses in Chris's [[autism]] riddled mind. They say that they had ever since been "[[Chris and his ego|praying to the real Christian Weston Chandler]]".
+==Creation of a Jerkop==
+According to the [[CWCipedia]], Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.
-In addition to this, they also claim to have all been infected with [[Aspergers Syndrome]] by Alec, following Chris's belief that Aspergers Syndrome is both completely different from the supposedly not as harmful regular autism that he has, and that it is a literal disease that can be "caught" or "cured". Chris also gives this as the reason why the characters seemed to have personalities in Asperchu but were all cardboard cutouts in his comic; the Aspergers Syndrome gave them all social problems and made them act weird, like they did in the Asperchu comic when they had personalities. In Chris's mind, ''normal'' people act like saturday morning cartoon characters, like they do in his comic.
+As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.
-Ultra Sonichu then uses his Chaos Remedy to immediately cure them of their Aspergers and reverts them back into their old selves, (begging the question of why he couldn't instantly cure Chris's autism too), and the characters then one by one give their real names, show off the extremely minor design changes Chris made to differentiate them from his characters, and then list all the ways their lives had improved in the last ten seconds since they were cured.
+Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly [[Chris and writing|cure all Jerkops everywhere forever]].
-In response to complaints in the [[mailbag]] that he was portraying himself and Sonichu as [[Chris and religion#God complex|Messianic figures]], Chris  himself then arrives, having been absent outside of his role as narrator for the past few pages, and finds the newly regenerated Sonichus and Rosechus bowing down in prayer to him, having mistaken him for God. (Clearly being relieved of their Aspergers did wonders for their minds). Chris then takes the time out to explain to them that he was not really God, but merely [[Chris and his ego|his humble messenger on Earth]].
+Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained.
-Following that, Metal Asperchu shows up and randomly attacks them, leading to a boring fight scene in which he is of course destroyed in about thirty seconds. Chris and Sonichu then head inside to go and destroy Alec's [[Xbox 360]] for some reason, whilst the new Sonichus gang up on and [[Chris and the law|mercilessly beat Alec for drawing them poorly]].
+It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.<ref>Mailbag 5</ref><ref>Mailbag 11</ref> Given that Chris established that only [[slow-in-the-minds]] can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through.
+==Police?==
+{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], page 28}}
-<center><gallery>
+[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]
-Image:Michael Sonichu.jpg|Michael Sonichu, based on [[Sonichu]].
-Image:Kitty Rosechu.jpg|Kitty Rosechu, based on [[Bubbles]].
-Image:Bobby Sonichu.jpg|Bobby Sonichu, based on [[Wild]].
-Image:Trisha Rosechu.jpg|Trisha Rosechu, based on [[Angelica]].
-Image:Swift Sonichu.jpg|Swift Sonichu, based on [[Magi-Chan]].
-Image:Whisp Sonichu.jpg|Whisp Sonichu, based on [[Punchy]].
-</gallery></center>
-== Mitch Sonichu ==
+While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.
-[[Image:MitchSonichuSmall.png|thumb|"I'd hit that!"]]
-{{quote|Flyin' high and lookin' fine!|[[Angelica|Trisha Rosechu]], on Mitch Sonichu's new look.}}
-Mitch Sonichu is an interesting example of Chris's alterations, in that he was in fact an attempt to change [[Asperchu|Asperchu himself]] into a bland [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character, rather than just Chris retaking what he believes to be his original characters, as was the case with Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo.
+That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]].
-Chris had indicated in a previous [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone call with Alec]] that he believes cartoons to [[Chris and reality|exist in a parallel reality]], and he also believes that what is written in comic books can influence and change that cartoon universe. Whilst Chris has given conflicting accounts of just how much power the author has over the characters in his comic books, like how he believes Sonichu acts completely of his own free will in his comic but the same is not true of ''Asperchu'', he seemed to hold the view that Asperchu was independent enough from Alec that he would resent the name he had been given and would be aware of the fact that he was deliberately written to be a loser with a mental disability. As such, it can be inferred from this that Chris saw the character of Mitch as the person who Asperchu apparently "really" wanted to be, and he changed him into Mitch in his comic as some bizarre act of charity to the fictional character, though he probably still did it more to spite Alec than anything else.
+While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris introduces [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez]], when Magi-Chan sends them to check [[Inos]] into a soup hotel.
-Asperchu was changed into Mitch along with Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo, and also took part in the fight with Metal Asperchu shortly afterwards. He was prominently featured in the comic, even ahead of the Sonichu analogue who was retconned into Michael Sonichu, and he seemed to be portrayed as the effective "leader" of the group, after his transformation at least. As "Mitch", he was yellow with brown highlights present on the ends of his ears and the base of his tail. He had a [[Rollin' and Trollin'|soul patch]] and wore a [[Bob Chandler|lumberjack-style]] flannel shirt, blue jeans and sneakers. He was supposedly smarter, more confident and better-looking than his previous self.
+==Appearance and characteristics==
+[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Some Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]
-After this, like most characters that Chris introduces according to events that occur around him, Mitch fades into the background character and is never seen again.
+Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other [[Fangs|unattractive]] [[Creepy stare|features]], such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]:
-== Basement Rosechus ==
+{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}}
-[[Image:SchuComic11P80.jpg|thumb|Chris offers an important clarification on the complex topic of hamster/rosechu rape]]
-{{quote|You just had them in prison and you treated them like hamsters... You know, just keep them in cages, giant hamster wheels, giant water bottles, nn...and food pellets.|[[Chris]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]}}
+Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an [[Chris and art|even simpler fashion]] than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.
-The Basement Rosechus are a group of four [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] supposedly rescued from the basement of [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10]], following shortly after the defeat of Metal Asperchu. Starved, dirty and traumatized, they are the first characters that actually seem congruous with the grim backdrop of [[CWCville]].
+Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including [[Jerkhief]]s and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building</ref>
-In typical [[Chris and writing|Chris style]], each is distinguished by some form of impairment or distinctive costume rather than any genuine personality. After being given a motivational speech by [[Sonichu]], they are promptly stuffed into one of CWCville's soup hotels, most likely to be forgotten about.
+==Jerkop variants==
+[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]
-They may have been created in response to the then latest issue of Asperchu, as immediately following Chris's retcons in Sonichu 10 earlier on, Asperchu had continued as normal, featuring the funeral of the Chaotic Combo and introducing the character of [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] into the comic for the first time. Whether they were made to also retcon the Asperchu version of Rosechu into another character or whether they were just made for the sake of demonizing Alec further remains unknown.
+As well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics.
-Not long after publishing the pages featuring these characters, Chris released a video with one of his [[5_February_2010|classic anti-sincere apologies]], backing off from the implication that Alec would entertain himself by abusing and raping innocent women. According to Chris's retroactive accounting of the situation, the Basement Rosechus were merely kept in large cages and forced to run on a "giant hamster wheel", as if that's any better.
+===Janekops===
+Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.
-[[Image:brittay.JPG|center]]
+Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word [[JERKS]] to describe anyone refers to men exclusively.
-Essentially the [[Rosechu (species)|regular Rosechu]], right down to a proclivity for [[Women's rights|strutting around in slutty clothes]], but famished and [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty]] in appearance. The end of her tail appears to have been chewed on at some point. She is possibly the leader of the group by virtue of being the most bland.
-[[Image:bride.JPG|center]]
+===Mecha-Jerkops===
-A Rosechu in a waifish-looking wedding dress. She was apparently betrothed to [[Asperchu]] but was declared too weak and feeble and was cast aside. Speaking with strong religious overtones, it could be said she is set-up to be an [[Angelica]] clone were this sort of accusation of unoriginality not redundant by now.
+[[Image:Mecha-jerkops.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.]]
-Interestingly, Bride's backstory seems to have also been an attempt to demonize Asperchu along with Alec, implying that he was some kind of sidekick to her captor; a story [[Chris and writing|inconsistent with his earlier depiction]] as being a victim just as much as her or the others.
+Robotic minions of the [[Jerkops]], the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']]. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect.  Because of this, and Chris's [[Chris and art|inconsistent depiction]] of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named.
-[[Image:moe.JPG|center]]
+In [[Sub-Episode 4]], "McAttack Part 1", [[B-Manajerk]] explains that the [[Jerkhief]] informed him of [[Chris]] and his [[Love Quest]]. To help the [[Manajerks]] at [[Mal-Wart]] defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who had come to aid Chris in his battle.
-A bald Rosechu with rickets and square eyes. Inadvertently or otherwise, her tail resembles a hockey stick.
-[[Image:maryrosechu.JPG|center]]
+[[Chris and writing|The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue]].
-A paraplegic Rosechu who had apparently gone without a wheelchair for most of her existence. Sonichu graciously gives her one. Has a missing ear for unexplained reasons. Wants to have a long, soapy bath, which she probably won't be able to feel anyway.
-==Alec's other characters==
+==Equipment==
-[[Image:metalasperchu.jpg|thumb|Comparison of Metal Asperchu in the original comic and Metal Asperchu in Sonichu 10. [[Chris and his ego|Guess which one Chris believes is better?]]]]
+{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] cover}}
-As mentioned above, whilst Chris was screwing around with a comic that wasn't his to alter, he decided to go all the way and outright stole several characters original to Asperchu, rather than just his own, the most prominent being Asperchu himself, transformed into Mitch. However, Chris also stole several other characters from the series, or more specifically, two of them.
+[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol, cleverly disguised as a [[duck]].]]
-The first is Metal Asperchu, the primary villain of the ''Asperchu'' series in the early issues of the comic. In he original comic, he was created by the [[troll]] lord Sinestro as a way to track down the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]] he needed for his vauge but evil plan. He was based on Asperchu for unknown reasons, and quickly became independent of his master, ignoring his commands and later outright betraying him, all for the ultimate goal of collecting the Chaos Pickles. He was also the one who killed Wild, Punchy and Angelica.
+Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56</ref>
-In ''Sonichu'', he was basically turned into a random robot attacker, with no more threat or menace than your average Jerkop, and he was drawn more like a megaman villain than his original design. Given the character was a major source of conflict in ''Asperchu'', and Chris hates conflict or tension of any kind, he was introduced in Sonichu 10 for the sole purpose of being destroyed as quickly as possible, to get rid of all that unwanted drama or build-up. He is implied in the comic to be working for Alec Benson leary, and he addresses Chris in the dialouge as the "original creator". Whether this is in references to Chris's status as the original creator of the characters he had just changed, or whether this was reffering to Metal Asperchu being based on Chris's [[Metal Sonichu]] is unknown.
+In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. [[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a [[Power Rangers]]-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s electrical attacks.
-The second character Chris steals is Asperchu's [[Asperchu/Background#Supporting characters|Grandma Snorlax]], a parody of [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], who sometimes featured in scenes set at Asperchu's house in the original comic, often seen propped up against the sagging wall of the house. In Asperchu, she gets a one panel cameo as Sonichu flies over towards the house before he meets the Asper-Combo, seen in the background propped up behind the house, just like in ''Asperchu''. Why Chris bothered to include her at all when her only real purpose as a character is to make fun of his mother is not clear. She doesn't say anything, do anything, and she is never seen again or mentioned by anyone else. She's just sort of there.
+The Jerkops also employ several [[Transformers]] for transportation and battle, collectively known as the [[Decepti-Clones]]. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']].
-==Alec himself==
+==Weaknesses==
-And of course, Alec himself was also included in the comic as the diabolical hamster/Rosechu rapist who had captured the Asper-Combo and infected them with [[Aspergers Syndrome]], as part of his evil plan to...make them pretend to be the real Chaotic Combo and act out their fictional deaths? What Alec's actual goal in the comic was is never really explained, but it can just be assumed that like every other Sonichu villain, he was just evil for the sake of being evil. After Metal Asperchu was defeated, the gang of seven Sonichus all ganged up on him and beat him up in vengeance, off panel of course. He was later put on trial and killed for the murder of [[Simonla]].
+[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|left|thumb|150px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.]]
-==Alec's reaction==
+As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "[[Minor CWC-isms|Sourdough region]]." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their [[Obesity|fat]] absorbs the impact.
-{{quote|Hey bitches! Razzle Dazzle!|Mitch Chu, making his ''fabulous'' debut.}}
-still to rewrite this section.
+==Appearances in comic==
+*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]
+*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]
+*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]
+*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]
+*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]
+*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]
+==References==
+<references/>
+==See also==
+{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
+*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
+*[[Manajerks]]
+*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
+*[[Chris and the Law]]
+*[[Jerkops]]
+*[[Jerkhief]]
+*[[Manajerks]]
-Rather than comply with this "extreme electric makeover", however, Alec simply accepted Mitch Sonichu as a new character and ignored the rest of Chris's changes.
+*[[Jerkhief]]
+*[[Bagget]]
-Mitch Chu is a character who appeared in ''Asperchu 1'', as Alec's response to the alterations Chris sought to impose. He is, unlike Mitch Sonichu, a completely separate character from Asperchu, and it is implied that he was at one point [[Chris and Sex|raped]] by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] as a young [[Sonee]]. Due to the complicated nature of each character's origins building on the other, Sonichu, Asperchu, and Mitch are frequently confused for one another by Ian (though this is also poking fun at his difficulty in identifying people).
+*[[Punislav]]
-As a not-so-subtle response to the quite camp nature of Mitch Sonichu's ''EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER'', Mitch Chu is rather obviously gay and seems to hold steady employ as a stylist. Nonetheless, Mitch readily joins heroes Sonichu and [[Simonchu]] in their battle against Ian Brandon Anderson, until his tragic death at the hands of [[Bionic]].
-In retaliation, Alec took Mitch sonichu and simply renamed him Mitch Chu, making him a character in his own comic, as well as in Sonichu Revolution where Mitch recounts about his confusing origins. Mitch was recast as a [[homos|gay]] hairstylist, since makeovers are gay. Whisp became Whispy, [[Punchy]]'s [[slow-in-the-mind]]s cousin who speaks Spanish.
-After making these modifications, Chris [[Cwc blog#January_19_2009|stated in a blog post]] that, whilst he has no association to Alec or his comic, he would "forgive" Alec for his wrongdoings if he introduced his changes into the ''Asperchu'' comic. Alec declined and continued with his comic unaltered, although he would introduce a character based on Mitch Sonichu.
-==See also==
-*[[Asperchu]]
-*[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
-*[[5_February_2010|I Am Alive]]
 {{Sonichu}}
+[[Category:Villains]]
-[[Category:Characters]]
-[[Category:Sonichus]]
-[[Category:Rosechus]]
-[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

Contents

Creation of a Jerkop

Police?

Appearance and characteristics

Jerkop variants

Janekops

Mecha-Jerkops

Equipment

Weaknesses

Appearances in comic

References

See also

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Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

Creation of a Jerkop

Police?

Appearance and characteristics

Jerkop variants

Janekops

Mecha-Jerkops

Equipment

Weaknesses

Appearances in comic

References

See also

Navigation menu

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