Sonichu 9

The Saga Continues...

Sonichu 9 is the tenth issue of Christian's Sonichu comic book. On the 30th of March, 2009, the first 3 uncolored pages were released. Then, on Easter Sunday 2009, Chris released the entire episode 19, but it is only partially colored.

Finally, in late July Chris uploaded the finished version of episode 19 to the CWCipedia, meaning it took him four months to colour in half an episode. Sonichu fans expect to see the rest of the comic sometime in 2020.

Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)

This episode is based around our heroes attending "Dating Education" classes, because although they've spent years training in dojos and fighting the world's most villainous enemies, none of them are able to talk to the opposite sex.

The comic opens with Punchy announcing his intention to ace the class and make Angelica his woman, while Simonla orders Zapina into the high-school version of the class to pick up a 16 year old boy.

The class itself is taught by Ms. Jackaras. One boy named "Reginald" is jealous of Punchy for being paired up with the girl he likes named Layla. Wild is paired with Simonla. Some South Park knock offs are paired together. Ivy (after Julie was written out, see BlueSpike PSN Chat 2), is paired with someone but shows no interest in him because she and Chris had the same dream where God/Jesus show up and explain that Chris and Ivy are meant to be together. Chris is still in the void at this point and they have never actually met; making this situation more absurd. The most likely explanation is that Ivy is having an acid flashback.

Ms. Jackaras orders the class to socialise with their chosen partners anonymously over instant message chat, which is far more beneficial than asking them to, oh I don't know, speak to each other face to face. Being the amorous flake that he is, Punchy soon forgets all about Angelica as he speaks to Layla over IM and dreams his dreams of china.

Unfortunately, the jealous Reginald tries to put a stop to Punchy's sexy plans and cuts the cable on the computer, thus cutting off any contact between Layla and Punchy. Sadly, his plan fails as Punchy merely asks Wild Sonichu to cross over to the other-side of the room and ask Layla out for him. Layla totally says yes. How Wild knew who Layla was from her screen-name is left unexplained.

While Wild is doing Punchy's dirty-work for him, he spies Simonla's computer monitor and concludes that he has been IM'ing with her all along, calloo-callay. Wild takes advantage of this situation by taking her back to his place and showing her his vibrating bed.

Punchy meets Layla for the first time outside class, and they make a romantic trip to McDonald's where Punchy demands that da freedom fries not be invaded by salt.

Outside class Reginald is comptemplating suicide when he is approached by Angelica who listens to his pathetic tale of woe and, possibly due to use of narcotic substances, flirts with Reginald until he summons the courage to ask her out. To his, and our, bewilderment she says yes.

Back in class Ms. Jackaras's sister announces her tragic death, but no matter, and hands out the exam scores.

Episode 20: CWC-Defense

On 08 August 2009, Chris uploaded the first few pages of the apparently untitled Episode 20 to the CWCipedia. The episode begins with a ham-fisted tribute to Billy Mays, who appears to have damaged his hands in some kind of bizarre finger mangling accident.

Proving that Chris's dating education plan was nothing more than a scheme for forcing someone to jump into bed with him so he wouldn't have to do the legwork on his own, the comic opens with Wild and Simonla, and Reginald and Angelica in bed being awoken by a strange noise.

Meanwhile, Silvana, Naitsirhc and Wes Iseli run around CWCville and allude to some of the shit that's going to happen during the Transformers crossover.

The action switches to 14 Brunchcourt Lane where Sonichu has just heard some not-so-good news on the web - those homos have been saying that he's a homosexual icon. This news displeases him very much.

Because Rosechu is a "Sweet, honest woman who truly understands," she decides she wants to fuck Sonichu in the kitchen. Thankfully, they're cockblocked by an attack on CWCville by the PVCC and Mary Lee Walsh.

Mayor Allison Amber gets the call and apparently sends the Power Rangers to fight the PVCC or some shit. Chris's stupid Transformers ripoffs go instead.

Meanwhile, Punchy is beating up some random Jerkops as Layla stands around looking worried because she's a woman. She's attacked from behind by a female Jerkop and shocks her with Thunder. Punchy's somehow hurt, but since Chris's artwork sucks it's hard to know what's going on. Prower arrives and Punchy sends him to "intercept and takedown"

Speculation on Possible Content

SPOILER ALERT: It's gonna suck.

Chris appears to be building to some final, climactic battle between his beloved Hedgehog Pokemon characters, and the evil cockblocker villains, led by Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon. Chris stated in the final page of Sonichu #8 that he would be returning from the time void in #9, and his preview of #10 indeed shows him back in action, so this seems pretty likely.

Presumably, Chris's return would mean that the seven Sonichu Balls would be reunited, enabling Magi-Chan to rescue Crystal from the Dark Mirror. This is assuming, of course, that Christian even remembers to resolve that little plotline, since Crystal got trapped in the damn mirror over two and a half years ago.

On the front cover, Chris announces that he will be including a corrected version of timmys1984's Sonichu Fan Promo, a short series of 3D films that showed Sonichu zapping through town and defeating enemies. It is unclear if this section will just be an addition, or if Chris wil actually canonise the promos. It is however sure that Chris will turn it to shit.

If Sonichu #8 is any indication, expect to see a lot of gross PDA and condom discussions among the cast.

Chris has described upcoming issues as the "season finale", which demonstrates how much he's confused his comic with a television series. Every issue thus far has been the first "season", which is now entering its fifth year without a conclusion. He's also stated that he plans to step down as mayor of CWCville in the comic, and assume a lesser role in the series. Given that the entire series has devolved into a warped autobiography, this seems like an empty promise.