Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

“

That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

”

A REAL AMERICAN HERO

A Jerkop is Chris's name for either a mall security guard or an "evil" police officer. The word itself is a portmanteau of "JERK" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called Janekops.^[1]

Chris included the Jerkops in his comics, where they served as the villainous private army of Mary Lee Walsh, until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in Sonichu #10

Creation of a Jerkop

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending Slaweel Ryam's school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.

As seen in Chris's earlier documentation, the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a hard time reproducing. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "slow-in-the-minds", and others of lesser intelligence. It wasn't until Sonichu #9 where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have managed to actually kill several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in Sonichu #10, when Ultra Sonichu uses his nigh-omnipotence to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.

Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in Sonichu #4, seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained.

It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.^[2]^[3] Given that Chris established that only slow-in-the-minds can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through.

Police?

“	And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!	”
Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, Sonichu #5, page 28

"Police-Women" on Chris's dating blacklist

While a common misconception is that Chris is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in Sonichu #5 that brown (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are TRUE and HONEST. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.

That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, Marcus Baggett was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the law.

While CWCville has a police department in Sonichu, they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In Sonichu #5 Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in Sonichu #9 they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in Sonichu #10, Chris introduces Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.

Appearance and characteristics

Some Jerkops watch Chris-Chan Sonichu levitate in a 2004 short.

Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other unattractive features, such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to Mary Lee Walsh and the PVCC. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in Sonichu #4:

“

Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.

”

Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the Sonichu comics. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.

Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the CWCipedia. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.^[4]

Jerkop variants

You have the right to remain sexayyyyy

As well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics.

Janekops

Female Jerkops. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in Sonichu #4, by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at PVCC in Sonichu #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word JERKS to describe anyone refers to men exclusively.

Mecha-Jerkops

Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.

Robotic minions of the Jerkops, the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in Sonichu #3. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect. Because of this, and Chris's inconsistent depiction of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named.

In Sub-Episode 4, "McAttack Part 1", B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief informed him of Chris and his Love Quest. To help the Manajerks at Mal-Wart defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the Merried Seinor Comic. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by Darkbind Sonichu, who had come to aid Chris in his battle.

The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue.

Equipment

“	MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS	”
Jerkhief, Sonichu #4 cover

A pistol, cleverly disguised as a duck.

Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.^[5]

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The Jerkhief carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a Power Rangers-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of Chris-Chan Sonichu's electrical attacks.

The Jerkops also employ several Transformers for transportation and battle, collectively known as the Decepti-Clones. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in Sonichu #4.

Weaknesses

This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.

As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is a good kick in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the Jerkhief may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-In what may be the world's only attempt at cross-comic retconning, [[Chris]] attempted to alter the plot of Alec Benson Leary's ''[[Asperchu]]'' comic from within the pages of ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' during the course of his feud with him in [[January 2010]].
+{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}
-==History==
+[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
-After Alec began to include more [[List of Sonichu characters|Sonichu characters]] in his comic other than Sonichu himself, Chris quickly took notice, and much tard-raging soon ensued. Whilst portraying [[Sonichu]] as a [[homo]] was bad enough for Chris, apparently tarring the [[Chaotic Combo]] with the same brush was a step too far for him.
-Chris's solution was to [[retcon]] the events of ''Asperchu'' in his own comic such that all instances of his characters appearing in ''Asperchu'' were really just other Sonichus being forced to to play the characters by Alec. In a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|phone conversation]] with Alec, Chris revealed that he did this because he believes cartoon characters [[Chris and reality|all really exist in some parallel universe]], citing ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'' as a template for this idea, and explaining that by making a work featuring the characters from his comic, he was therefore changing that parallel world into one in which they were homos, which his characters would allegedly resent. Of course, attempting to change the canon of another author's comics without permission was nowhere near insulting enough for Chris to be satisfied, so he also placed Alec himself in the story and portrayed him as a kidnapper and [[Rape|rapist]], as well as stole [[Asperchu/Background#Supporting characters|several characters]] original to Asperchu. Listed below are his bastardizations of each character, and what he did to make them that way.
+A '''Jerkop''' is [[Chris]]'s name for either a mall security guard or an [[Bagget|"evil" police officer]]. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21</ref>
-== Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo ==
+Chris included the Jerkops in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], where they served as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']]
-In the world of Asperchu, Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo are a group of heroic vigilantes fighting an underground guerrilla war in the streets of CWCville to free the town from the despotic clutches of [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and return the rightful [[Liquid Chris|Mayor]] to power. They are given much better characterization than Chris originally gave them, and Alec made Wild and Magi-chan [[Homos|gay]] to play off their obvious homosexual inclinations in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. Wild is seen to be in a relationship with [[Simonchu]] as a parody of his relationship with his sub-par knockoff [[Simonla]] in the main comics, and after Wild dies he also dates [[Magi-Chan]]. Over the course of the comic, the entire Combo is eventually wiped out, with Wild, Punchy and Angelica being murdered by Metal Asperchu to establish his status as a threatening villain, Bubbles covertly assassinated by [[Silvana Rosechu]] in an infiltration mission, and Magi-Chan later killed in the battle for [[CWCville]], also by Silvana. Sonichu survived these events, and later went on to become a villain himself.
-In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris responded to the events of Asperchu by retconning it in his own comic. After destroying the 4-cent building, Chris and [[Ultra Sonichu]] flew away to Minnesota where the Asperchu comics took place and encountered the actors who portrayed the Sonichu characters in Asperchu. Chris established that they were in fact ''different'' Sonichus and Rosechus, with different names and identities, who just so happened to look exactly like the characters of Sonichu canon. They explain that Alec had captured them and was forcing them against their will to pretend to be the Chaotic Combo, pretend to die, and even "make a false god out of" [[Liquid Chris]]<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P54.jpg]]</ref> among other things, for reasons that will only ever make sense in Chris's [[autism]]-riddled mind. The fake Sonichu says had "[[Chris and his ego|prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian]]"<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P56.jpg]]</ref> for these heinous crimes.
+==Creation of a Jerkop==
+According to the [[CWCipedia]], Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.
-In addition to this, they claim to have been "cursed"<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P57.jpg]]</ref> with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] by Alec, following Chris's belief that Asperger's Syndrome is both completely different from the supposedly harmless regular autism that he has and is a literal disease that can be "caught" or "cured". Chris gives this as the reason why the characters seemed to have personalities in Asperchu but were all cardboard cutouts in his comic; the Asperger's Syndrome gave them all social problems and made them act weird, like they did in the Asperchu comic when they had personalities. In Chris's mind, ''normal'' people act like Saturday morning cartoon characters, like they do in his comic.
+As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.
-Ultra Sonichu then uses his Chaotic Remedy to immediately cure them of their Asperger's and revert them back into their old selves (begging the question of why he couldn't instantly cure Chris's autism too), and the characters one by one give their real names, show off the extremely minor design changes Chris made to differentiate them from his characters, and list all the ways their lives had improved in the ten seconds since they were cured.
+Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly [[Chris and writing|cure all Jerkops everywhere forever]].
-In response to complaints in the [[mailbag]] that he was portraying himself and Sonichu as [[Chris and religion#God complex|Messianic figures]], Chris  himself then arrives, having been absent outside of his role as narrator for the past few pages, and finds the newly regenerated Sonichus and Rosechus bowing down in prayer to him, having mistaken him for God. Chris takes the time to explain to them that he was not really God, but merely [[Chris and his ego|his humble messenger on Earth]].
+Interestingly, while Chris's later CWCipedia articles would explain that the Jerkops were simply brainwashed normal humans, his earlier documentation on Jerkops, particularly the "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], seem to imply that Jerkops are anything but normal, saying that most, though not all of them were hideously deformed. He says that they wear black pants to cover their "agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my!", that they have "sausage feet", and that some of them are forced to wear a black glove on one hand to disguise the fact that one of their fingers fell off while they were growing up. Why so many Jerkops coincidentally seem to have had fingers simply fall off at an unspecified time in childhood is never explained.
-Following that, Metal Asperchu shows up and randomly attacks them, leading to a fight scene in which he is of course destroyed in the space of a couple pages. Chris and Sonichu then head inside to destroy Alec's [[Xbox 360]], whilst the new Sonichus gang up on and [[Chris and the law|mercilessly beat Alec for drawing them poorly]].
+It's never quite clear why most Jerkops suffer from these conditions, but Chris has many times expressed the sentiment that the mentally disabled and physically deformed are interchangeable.<ref>Mailbag 5</ref><ref>Mailbag 11</ref> Given that Chris established that only [[slow-in-the-minds]] can be made into Jerkops, it's entirely possible that them all being deformed is just Chris's prejudice against the disabled shining through.
-<center><gallery>
+==Police?==
-Image:Michael Sonichu.jpg|Michael Sonichu, based on [[Sonichu]].
+{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']], page 28}}
-Image:Kitty Rosechu.jpg|Kitty Rosechu, based on [[Bubbles]].
-Image:Bobby Sonichu.jpg|Bobby Sonichu, based on [[Wild]].
-Image:Trisha Rosechu.jpg|Trisha Rosechu, based on [[Angelica]].
-Image:Swift Sonichu.jpg|Swift Sonichu, based on [[Magi-Chan]].
-Image:Whisp Sonichu.jpg|Whisp Sonichu, based on [[Punchy]].
-</gallery></center>
-== Mitch Sonichu ==
+[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]
-[[Image:MitchSonichuSmall.png|thumb|"I'd hit that!"]]
-{{quote|Flyin' high and lookin' fine!|[[Angelica|Trisha Rosechu]], on Mitch Sonichu's new look.}}
-Mitch Sonichu is the outlier of Chris's alterations, in that he was an attempt to change [[Asperchu|Asperchu himself]] into a bland [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character, rather than just Chris retaking what he believes to be his original characters, as was the case with Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo.
+While a common misconception is that [[Chris]] is essentially delivering a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarifies in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically puts the police on a pedestal.
-Chris had indicated in a previous [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone call with Alec]] that he believes cartoons to [[Chris and reality|exist in a parallel reality]], and that what is written in comic books can influence and change that cartoon universe. Whilst Chris has given conflicting accounts of just how much power the author has over the characters in his comic books (for example, he believes Sonichu acts completely of his own free will in his comic but the same is not true of ''Asperchu'') he seemed to hold the view that Asperchu was independent enough from Alec that he would resent the name he had been given and would be aware of the fact that he was deliberately written to be a loser with a mental disability. It can be inferred from this that Chris saw the character of Mitch as the person who Asperchu apparently ''really'' wanted to be, and he changed him into Mitch in his comic in a bizarre act of charity to the fictional character, though he probably still did it more to spite Alec than anything else.
+That said, Chris holds a very narrow definition of what a "true" police officer is. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again points out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seems to be a major sticking point for Chris regardless of his past run-ins with the law. As far as he's apparently concerned, the color of a cop's uniform is the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]].
-Asperchu was transformed alongside Alec's versions of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo, and also took part in the fight with Metal Asperchu shortly afterwards. He was the most prominently featured of the transformed hedgehogs, and he seemed to be portrayed as the effective "leader" of the group. As "Mitch", he allegedly became smarter, more confident and better-looking than his previous self.
+While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris introduces [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez]], when Magi-Chan sends them to check [[Inos]] into a soup hotel.
-Like most characters that Chris creates based on events that occur around him, Mitch fades into the background shortly after being introduced and is never seen again.
+==Appearance and characteristics==
+[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Some Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]
-== Basement Rosechus ==
+Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. As mentioned above, they usually sport physical deformities or other [[Fangs|unattractive]] [[Creepy stare|features]], such as sores or visible veins. Being brainwashed, they're also completely loyal to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. For unclear reasons, this brainwashing also makes them look constantly angry and makes them only ever think "evil and naughty thoughts". Chris explains most of this in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]:
-[[Image:SchuComic11P80.jpg|thumb|Chris offers an important clarification on the complex topic of hamster/Rosechu rape]]
-{{quote|You just had them in prison and you treated them like hamsters... You know, just keep them in cages, giant hamster wheels, giant water bottles, nn...and food pellets.|[[Chris]], [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]}}
+{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks evil and naughty thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the [sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, they rarely attract any women. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil [sic], yet ugly legs; viens [sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove [sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of [sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}}
-The Basement Rosechus are a group of four [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] supposedly rescued from the basement of [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10]] shortly after the defeat of Metal Asperchu. Starved, dirty and traumatized, they are the first characters that actually seem congruous with the grim backdrop of [[CWCville]].
+Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an [[Chris and art|even simpler fashion]] than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.
-In typical [[Chris and writing|Chris style]], each is distinguished by some form of impairment or distinctive costume rather than any genuine personality. After being given a motivational speech by [[Sonichu]], they are promptly stuffed into one of CWCville's soup hotels and forgotten about.
+Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including [[Jerkhief]]s and Jerkop Daitenzens such as Bagget.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building</ref>
-They may have been created in response to the then-latest issue of Asperchu, as immediately following Chris's earlier retcons in Sonichu 10, Asperchu had continued as normal, featuring the funeral of the Chaotic Combo and introducing the character of [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] into the comic for the first time. Whether they were made to also retcon the Asperchu version of Rosechu into another character or whether they were just made for the sake of demonizing Alec further remains unknown.
+==Jerkop variants==
+[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]
-Not long after publishing the pages featuring these characters, Chris released a video with one of his [[5_February_2010|classic insincere apologies]], backing off from the implication that Alec would entertain himself by abusing and raping innocent women. According to Chris's retroactive account of the situation, the Basement Rosechus were merely kept in large cages and treated like hamsters.
+As well as the regular versions that Chris and his characters fight in large numbers throughout the series, several other variants of the standard Jerkop have shown up in the comics.
-<center><gallery>
+===Janekops===
-Image:brittay.JPG|Essentially the [[Rosechu (species)|regular Rosechu]], right down to a proclivity for [[Women's rights|strutting around in slutty clothes]], but famished and [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty]] in appearance. The end of her tail appears to have been chewed on at some point.
+Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.
-Image:bride.JPG|A Rosechu in a waifish-looking wedding dress. She was apparently betrothed to [[Asperchu]] but was declared too weak and feeble and was cast aside.
-Image:moe.JPG|A bald Rosechu with rickets and square eyes. Inadvertently or otherwise, her tail resembles a hockey stick.
-Image:maryrosechu.JPG|A paraplegic Rosechu who had apparently gone without a wheelchair for most of her existence. Sonichu graciously gives her one. She is missing ear for unexplained reasons.
-</gallery></center>
-==Alec's other characters==
+Why female Jerkops are not named the same as their male counterparts isn't ever said, but Chris most likely felt the need to give them a different name because his use of the word [[JERKS]] to describe anyone refers to men exclusively.
-[[Image:metalasperchu.jpg|thumb|Comparison of Metal Asperchu in the original comic and Metal Asperchu in Sonichu 10. [[Chris and his ego|Guess which one Chris believes is better?]]]]
-As mentioned above, whilst Chris was screwing around with a comic that wasn't his to alter, he decided to go all the way and stole several characters original to Asperchu.
+===Mecha-Jerkops===
+[[Image:Mecha-jerkops.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.]]
-The first is Metal Asperchu, the primary villain of the ''Asperchu'' series in the early issues of the comic. In the original comic, he was created by the [[troll]] lord Sinestro as a way to track down the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]] he needed for his evil plan. He was based on Asperchu for unknown reasons, and quickly became independent of his master, ignoring his commands and later outright betraying him, all for the ultimate goal of collecting the Chaos Pickles. He was also the one who killed Wild, Punchy and Angelica.
+Robotic minions of the [[Jerkops]], the Mecha-Jerkops first appeared in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']]. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect.  Because of this, and Chris's [[Chris and art|inconsistent depiction]] of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named.
-In ''Sonichu'', he was basically turned into a random robot attacker, of no more threat than the average [[Jerkop]], and he was drawn more like a Mega Man Robot Master than his original design. Given that the character was a major source of conflict in ''Asperchu'', and Chris hates conflict or tension of any kind, he was introduced in Sonichu 10 for the sole purpose of being destroyed as quickly as possible, to get rid of an unwanted threat to his characters. He is implied in the comic to be working for Alec Benson Leary, and he addresses Chris in the dialogue as the "original creator". Whether this is a reference to Chris's status as the original creator of the characters he had just changed or was an accusation of Metal Asperchu being based on Chris's [[Metal Sonichu]] is unknown.
+In [[Sub-Episode 4]], "McAttack Part 1", [[B-Manajerk]] explains that the [[Jerkhief]] informed him of [[Chris]] and his [[Love Quest]]. To help the [[Manajerks]] at [[Mal-Wart]] defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act however, they were cut down by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who had come to aid Chris in his battle.
-The second character Chris steals is Asperchu's [[Asperchu/Background#Supporting characters|Grandma Snorlax]], a parody of [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], who sometimes featured in scenes set at Asperchu's house in the original comic, often seen propped up against the sagging wall of the house. In Asperchu, she gets a one panel cameo as Sonichu flies over towards the house before he meets the Asper-Combo, seen in the background propped up behind the house, just like in ''Asperchu''. Why Chris bothered to include her at all when her only real purpose as a character is to make fun of his mother is not clear.
+[[Chris and writing|The Mecha-Jerkops were never referenced again after that issue]].
-==Alec himself==
+==Equipment==
-Alec himself was also included in the comic as the diabolical hamster/Rosechu rapist who had captured the Asper-Combo and given them [[Asperger's Syndrome]], as part of his evil plan to make them pretend to be the real Chaotic Combo and act out their fictional deaths. After Metal Asperchu was defeated, the gang of seven Sonichus all ganged up on him and beat him up in vengeance off-panel. He was later put on trial and killed for the murder of [[Simonla]], along with the other three minds behind the Asperchu saga, Mao, [[Evan]] and Sean.
+{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] cover}}
-==Alec's reaction==
+[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol, cleverly disguised as a [[duck]].]]
-{{quote|Hey bitches! Razzle Dazzle!|Mitch Chu, making his ''fabulous'' debut.}}
-In typical Chris fashion, after making these modifications, Chris [[Cwc blog#January_19_2009|stated in a blog post]] that, whilst he has no association to Alec or his comic, he would "forgive" Alec for his wrongdoings if he introduced his changes into the ''Asperchu'' comic.
+Jerkops, in addition to their various differently colored uniforms, are also identified by their faux police badges, made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56</ref>
-Rather than comply with this "extreme electric makeover" however, Alec simply continued with his comic unaltered, save for references and in-jokes related to the incident. For example, several of the retconned characters were introduced as new characters separate from the ''Asperchu'' iterations of the ''Sonichu'' characters that Chris had tried to change.
+In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on at least one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. The [[Jerkhief]] carries a "metal slingshot" and sometimes wears a suit of armor. [[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen, wields a sword, and his costume comes with a [[Power Rangers]]-esque helmet. His uniform seems resilient enough to protect him from the worst of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s electrical attacks.
-Whisp Sonichu, for instance, appeared at the Chaotic Funeral, introduced as Punchy's [[Spanish]] speaking [[slow in the mind]] cousin. Alec also introduced some of the Basement Rosechus in a cameo role, where they were seen in the Albville Soup Hotel as being refugees from [[CWCville]] where they had previously lived as Ian's sex slaves.
+The Jerkops also employ several [[Transformers]] for transportation and battle, collectively known as the [[Decepti-Clones]]. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown police cruisers, "Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels", which transform into armored S.U.V.s, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue jet planes. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']].
-Arguably the biggest impact of the retcons was that Alec adopted the character of Mitch Sonichu into his canon, but not as a revamped Asperchu, but instead as a new character called Mitch Chu. As a not-so-subtle response to the quite camp nature of Mitch Sonichu's ''EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER'', Mitch Chu was rather obviously gay and seemed to hold steady employ as a stylist.
+==Weaknesses==
+[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|left|thumb|150px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO.]]
-As well as this, Mitch Chu was also often used as a device to take pot shots at Chris in the comic. His backstory was established in Issue 3, implying that he was [[rape]]d as a young [[Sonee]] by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], Chris's comic incarnation. There was also something of a running joke in the comic that Ian would frequently confuse Mitch, Sonichu and Asperchu with each other, as they were all essentially different versions of the same character. In the side comic [[Sonichu Revolution]], Mitch also appeared as the narrator and a guide for [[Sonichu]] during his journey through the land of [[copyright]] infringement, parodying Chris's treatment of copyright in his work and destroying everything that used previously existing characters. The comic ends with Mitch being murdered by Chris with an axe at his own request, because he was also a copyright infringing abomination.
+As demonstrated by Chris in the comic, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "[[Minor CWC-isms|Sourdough region]]." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their [[Obesity|fat]] absorbs the impact.
-Mitch was last seen in the comic in ghost form, taunting Sonichu, in a sequence parodying the Sorrow boss battle from [[Metal Gear Solid|Metal Gear Solid 3]].
+==Appearances in comic==
+*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]
+*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]
+*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]
+*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]
+*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]
+*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]
+*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]
+==References==
+<references/>
 ==See also==
-*[[Asperchu]]
+{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
-*[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
+*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
-*[[5_February_2010|I Am Alive]]
+*[[Manajerks]]
+*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
+*[[Chris and the Law]]
+*[[Jerkops]]
+*[[Jerkhief]]
+*[[Manajerks]]
-==Sauces==
+*[[Jerkhief]]
-<references>
+*[[Bagget]]
+*[[Punislav]]
 {{Sonichu}}
+[[Category:Villains]]
-[[Category:Characters]]
-[[Category:Sonichus]]
-[[Category:Rosechus]]
-[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

Contents

Creation of a Jerkop

Police?

Appearance and characteristics

Jerkop variants

Janekops

Mecha-Jerkops

Equipment

Weaknesses

Appearances in comic

References

See also

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Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox"

Latest revision as of 13:55, 24 April 2012

Creation of a Jerkop

Police?

Appearance and characteristics

Jerkop variants

Janekops

Mecha-Jerkops

Equipment

Weaknesses

Appearances in comic

References

See also

Navigation menu

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