Sonichu 11
| Sonichu #11 | |
|---|---|
[[Image: |180px]]
| |
| Cover Date: | 13 August 2009 |
| Finished: | incomplete |
| Page Count: | 12 (so far) |
| Sonichu Comics | |
| Previous Sonichu #10 |
Next Sonichu #12 |
|
Unfinished
Chris has yet to complete this project due to stress.
|
| “ | The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed. | ” |
| Mailbag 51 | ||
Sonichu #11 is the twelfth comic in the Sonichu comic series, dated 13 August 2009. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from Nintendo or Sega!) However, since the tenth anniversary of Sonichu's creation came and went on 17 March 2010 and this issue remains incomplete, this is now another thing Chris has failed at.
Chris began writing this issue while Sonichu #10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story". Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with Reldnahc and the anti-gay vaccine from the future.
A Sonichu Christmas
| Resources | |
| A Sonichu Christmas | |
| Primary: | |
| CWCipedia: | Special Episode 1 of Book 11 |
| Secondary: | |
| Audiobooks: | A Sonichu Christmas |
In December 2009, in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story", at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's prose was adapted into comic form - the short story "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in Sonichu #0.
The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris reused the original 14 Brunchland Lane picture seen in Sonichu #9 with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of Reldnahc running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.
Christine notably plagiarizes a joke from Family Guy, marking the second time Chris has stolen a Family Guy joke since Sonichu #8, only this time instead of screwing up the context of the joke he manages to make the already off-color gag (that suggested GodJesus's mother wasn't a virgin) more offensive, as it is being uttered by a child who intends to say it at her school play, likely leading to loud gasps, boos and expulsion. The scene takes focus on Sonichu and Robbie hanging stockings, Robbie proceeds to butcher a quote from a holiday classic and they than have a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.
Meanwhile Rosechu and Cerah make an abnormally small amount of cookies, so that each child is apparently allotted one cookie in an individual plastic bag. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, resembles nothing close to any Jewish symbol, making this seemingly benign gesture somewhat self-defeating. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the Jewish kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall. Chris really wants more people to love him unconditionally for being special. Robbie and Cerah, speaking in complete sentences despite being toddlers, notice that it has snowed, with two feet expected to fall. Sonichu and Rosechu have a long conversation about purchasing groceries for "a few days."
While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites Luke 1:45-55 (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how GodJesus will reward the humble and punish the proud and the mighty. While this verse is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal. Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries. His trip to the supermarket was uneventful and uninteresting.
The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A KCWC announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca" and a warm shower. Rosechu subsequently nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of frozen precipitate, Sonichu decides to demonstrate his unholy powers to his children. "Imitating Santa," Sonichu crouches in the chimney, touches his nose, and with a cry of "Chim Chim Cheroo" flies up the flue. He rises up out of the chimney looking like a ninja because of the soot, and then shakes it off. He then bizarrely uses his gift of Sonic speed...
...to spend five minutes "shoveling" the driveway while in his Sonic mode, because using an actual shovel is too much work; never mind that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a tragic accident. Exhausted, he then heads back into the house for a shower, making a sound as if he's pleasing himself while Rosechu looks on holding a hideous novelty Christmas towel as she blesses him.
Controversial conclusion
On 24 April 2010, the Sysop uploaded two new episodes from Sonichu #11 to the CWCipedia. These stories picked up where Sonichu #10 left off with a similar dark and downbeat tone: Bubbles and Angelica were killed in the bombing of the CWCville Mal-Wart; Sandy Rosechu was run over by an inattentive driver; Wild committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; Christine and Robbie were killed and Cerah badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; Rosechu smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; Sonichu demanded a divorce; and Reginald Sneasel decided to show the world his "seven-inch lightning rod."
Despite a surprisingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris overwrote them a short while later, claiming in a rage-filled CWC Blog update that they were the work of another artist.
However, during The Great Rampage 2.0 (where the CWCipedia was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored. The CWCipedia died the next day.
Later episodes
The content of subsequent episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. Sonic appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in Sonichu #1.
Chris has said that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed."[1] This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a reboot is a declaration by a Great Director that previously established canon is null and void, or at least, irrelevant; a clip show is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes; and neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show", Chris meant that Sonichu #11 would contain more backstory, while by "reboot", he meant that the existing "plot" would be clumsily resolved in a couple of pages.
Chris has also said, "METAL SONICHU is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."[2] and "Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond [Sonichu #10], possessing the Metal Sonichu that crashed on the moon back in Book 1.[3]
References
External links