Sonichu and Rosechu's children
Cerah Rosey (also spelled "Cera"), Christine Rosey and Robbie Sonee are the children of Sonichu and Rosechu. Cerah is the oldest (born 29 June 2006, followed by Christine (b. 7 October 2006), and finally Robbie (b. 26 February 2007).[1]
It is probable that Cerah is named after Chris's childhood best friend and Robbie is named after either Chris's father or his childhood hero. Christine's name may come from the feminine variant of Christian's name (due to his narcissism) or his obsession with the name "Crystal". It should be noted that while Chris was uploading images to use as thumbnails for his character bio pages, he attempted to display a non-existent image file entitled "CrystalRosey.jpg" where a drawing of Christine should have gone.
They are identified by their whiny, high-pitched voices and irritating speech impediments. It is notable that to date Sonichu or Rosechu have not been seen spending time with a child of the opposite gender. Rosechu spends large amounts of time with Cera and Christine in the kitchen, while Sonichu and Robbie do manly activities such as gazing into each others' eyes and talking about their Wii.
The little shits end almost every statement with "Yay!" It should be noted that this is how Chris talks, not how children talk. They are also known for their creepy, blank expressions and soul-less eyes.
The children are widely hated by everybody, even more so than the other characters.
In November 2011, it was revealed that they have evolved into Cera Rosechu, Christine Rosechu and Robee Sonichu [sic], formed a band and that Robee has become a cross-dresser.
Appearances
The kids' first prominent appearance is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for McIntire Park. They've also been seen in two pages of Sonichu #9, as well as getting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their Spanish lesbian nanny, Heather Iglesias, while their neglectful parents waste time trying to assist their hideous father in his quest for balls.
The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's loins have also appeared in "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story", and in Sonichu #11. Here we learn that Christine is no longer a virgin, and Robbie replaces his R's with W's while speaking in an effort to be as saccharine and grating as possible. However, this could be interpreted as a way of Chris trying to pass of the extremely complex dialogue Robbie has as something a child would say, you know, because he's making malapropisms like those melon-headed kids in the funnies. Cera (formerly Cerah) breaks the fourth wall to say "I wuv you!" to Chris.
Robbie makes a brief appearance in Sonichu #10, describing an incident which involved him pissing on a lizard. Needless to say, cruelty to animals is one of the early signs of a potential psychopath.[2]
The children also appear in Chris's disingenuous plea for helping Haiti.
Shiny
Christine is a "Shining" (or "Shiney"[3] [sic]) Rosey according to Chris.[1] Unsurprisingly, Chris has, yet again, ripped off an element of Pokémon canon (in the games, a Pokémon that has a different coloration from what is usual for its species is considered to be "shiny"[4]).
When confronted with the accusation of infidelity by a close confidant, Chris got indignant and stuck to his "shiny" alibi.[5]
It should also be noted that while Chris probably assumes that it has something to do with genetics for the color difference, he most likely has no idea what genetics are, and just thought that it was combination of pink in yellow, when in reality, that makes a light-shit color. To get actual purple out of pink, you'd need to mix it with dark blue.
Evolution
On 12 November 2011, it was revealed that not only have the children all evolved into adult forms, but have also formed a pop band: Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls.
However, like Chris, they seem to have devolved into something much more disturbing: Robbie has changed his name to "Robee" and has become a tomgirl (or the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon equivalent: Sonirose?) while Cera has become a tomboy. Chris later expanded on this in 2014: Robbie/Robee is now a "Lesbian Tomgirl Tranny Cross-Dresser (still very much into women)", Christine (now inexplicably named "Crystaline") is bisexual, and Cera is a lesbian as well.[6] Quite the progressive family for a town that carried out an ethnic cleansing. As ridiculous as this is, it suggests Chris is still making deific adjustments to Cwcville, which fuels hope for further Sonichu instalments.
Fan art
The children of Sonichu and Rosechu are also a popular subject for fanart. In August 2009, a large volume of art depicting Sonichu and Rosechu's frolicking children was emailed to Chris. He did not appreciate it, for some odd reason. Ironically, in a later comic, he all but confirmed this art as canon with the implication that Christine is not a virgin.
References
See also
- Sonee & Rosey
- Sonichu
- Rosechu
- Guro
- CWC Update 12 August 2009, in which Chris addresses the former.
- A Sonichu Day
- "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story"
- Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls
- Wikipedia article on The Lurking Fear