Sonichu 1 Official Videobook

On 11 September 2009, Chris started uploading the official videobooks from Sonichu 1.

Episode 4

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Transcript

Welcome back. Here's the next installment of the official audio-video book series. Book number 1. Once again, all Sonichu material is copyrighted on March 17 2000, by me, Christian Weston Chandler, any names or persons illustrated in the Sonichu comics except for myself that may seemilar-similar to anyone in real life, or fiction, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. In this case, a little bit parodic. So anyway, book number 1. Sonic is standing by Sonichu, and Sonic says,
Sonichu, is that supposed to be your clone?
Unfortunately, Sonic, yes!
Chemical "X"?
No, cherry cola! What's wrong with you, this is not the Powerpuff Girls!
Episode 4, introducing Black Sonichu in "Darkness, Speed and Lightning! (with an accidental dose of cherry cola!)Over in the uh...the uh...uh...the hou...the house of Naitsirhc and his adoptive father Giovanni, Giovanni talks to Naitsirhc and Giovanni says,
Naitsirch! Even though you have lost your battle with that hedgehog Sonichu, I am proud that you were able to obtain a sample of his DNA. I then located the base of Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik, and needless to say after I showed him the photo of that Pokemon, he was astounded! And we shook in agreement of Dr. Robotnik reconstructing the DNA machine that was found on New Island. Soon, we will have a "Sonichu" of our own, and defeat the original. Naitsirhc, our victory is assured, or I am not Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
Meanwhile, in the underground lab, the, uh, scientists are putting it all together. We've got Sonichu's DNA along with a can of cherry cola. Mmmmmm.... Anyway, we've got a scientist working on it, uh, and then another scientist says,
Hey Bill! Bring that DNA sample to the machine!
Ok! Whoops! He uh, he hits the cherry cola and it spills into the uh, DNA.
Uh oh! Oh well!
Then he puts the sample in the machine, then he puts in in the machine. The machine initiates.
Analyzing data, adding inputed [sic] data, Pokemon identified, beginning cloning sequence.
[makes bubbling liquid noises]
Hmm.... Maybe it's the liquid, but this Sonichu looks black to me!
[Robot voice]Attention, attention, this is a record addressed only to the Sonichu in the tank. You are a Sonichu. You obey only Giovanni and his son Naitsirhc.
Mmmmm... Sonichu...Naitsirhc....
You are dark, evil and very powerful. When awakened, you will seek and fight your original counterpart.
Mmmm...Powerful...Counterpart? What information are these fools trying to brainwash into me? I'll do whatever I please! But I'll play along.
So now everybody's standing around the capsule with the hedgehog in it. Giovanni says,
Well, Robotnik. Here's the result of your skills and our genius! What is your opinion?
He reminds me of another creature I released years ago! But I'm sure this "Sonichu" is much more powerful!
Sir! I'm reading the brainwaves of the Pokemon! They're racing!
Well then, let's release him!
I agree! Drain the fluid and raise the tube!
Yessir!
Eh, I'm not sure, but he looks black to me! Oh well, he'll still shock that hedgehog!
BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB PSHEWWWWWW
Wow, he is black! Well, I'll just call him Black Sonichu.
That's fine with me! But let's just shorten that to Blachu, OK?
Huh? Ok, yeah, sure, deal. I am Naitsirhc, your master. This is my fa-uh, my father Giovanni. Do not cross him. And that's Dr. Robotnik.
Eh, pleasure to make your acquaintance, Black Sonichu.
Mine as well! Please accept these rocket boosters as your first birthday present! Ah ha ha ha!
And so Black Sonichu gets his rocket boosters, they increase his speed. Anyway, Naitsirhc approaches Black Sonichu and puts his hand across his shoulder and he says,
Come, Blachu, and we will brief you on your mission, birth and training.
And three hours later in a briefing room...
Lights on! So Black Sonichu, if you have any questions please ask them now, says Giovanni.
Yes sir! replies Black Sonichu. If I was cloned from Sonichu's DNA, shouldn't that make him my father? And also, why am I black and not yellow?
Giovanni replies, astounding questions, Blachu! And with all due respect, I would not refer to Sonichu as your father. More as your brother, [pauses]but do not look up to him. And as my scientist Bill reported, he spilled some cherry cola onto the DNA strands, the black and red chemicals must have overridden the brown and yellow pigment. Any other questions?
Robonik comes in with papers and he says,
Giovanni! I searched on the internet and found data on Sonichu from the Pokemon database!
Well, let's see it! Hmmm, I'm reading over the papers, hmmm...
Apparently it was reported to Professor Oak by a trainer named Kel.
Excellent, Robotnik! Now we can compare these statistics with Black Sonichu's, and make him much stronger and faster. Hmm, what's this on the other page?
Oh! That'd be Rosechu, another electric hedgehog Pokemon. I also learned that she is Sonichu's girlfriend.
[shouting]ALL SO PERFECT! Now we have the plan to lure Sonichu into our trap! After training our Black Sonichu, he will kidnap Rosechu! Ha ha, good work! Now make a machine to drain Sonichu's power, Robotnik!
Yes, sir! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Training days! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dahhhh! Speed test: Go! Whoosh! Uh oh! Shoot, you got my clothes! And I cut myself[?] with this tree! [chuckles, mumbles incoherently]. Strength Tench: He breaks the brick wall. Destroyed 20 tons. Spin-dash test: Result, 200 rotations in a minute. Target Practice: Shoo, ping! Shoo, ping! Shoo, ping! [the mike is being hit with something]Result, 99.5% accurate. And the result of the speed test was 200 kilometers per hour. A scientist comes in later and reports to Giovanni and Robotnik. Here's the recor-the reports you requested, sir!
Excellent! says Giovanni.
And in comparison, both of them have equal special attack, special defense, hit points and speed. But Black Sonichu has one attack point stronger over Sonichu, and Sonichu has stronger-has one defense stronger than Black Sonichu.
Well, they seem stronger, but Black Sonichu has greater strength.
Yes! It looks like he's ready for the mission.
I agree!
PSHH! Over overs[?] over the loudspeaker, attention Black Sonichu, please report to my office immediately, it's time for your mission, says Giovanni.
Then Black Sonichu thinks to himself, eh... I guess my training is complete. It's time to en-time to encounter my brother Sonichu.
To be continued in the next video!

Episode 5

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Episode 6

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Sub Episode 2

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Transcript

[Recording starts abruptly mid-sentence]...move on to the Sub-Episode 2 I just would like to, uh, state a couple of things of fact from book number one. Yeah, the uh first episode happened around Station Square and then the beach around Kel's house respectively, and then duh all this in the Episode 2 is like scenario was around Kel's house and the river that flowed from there. And uh then back in the and then back in the and then in Episode 3 mostly happened arou-it mostly happened in CWCville Shopping Mall all the battle and everything. And uh you know, just like, you know, the rest of the scenario, like you know, but for what happened started off from Kel's house and then ended up over at the CWCville Shopping Center. So let's just update, you know, just try to make it update an audiobook, anyway. Anyway.

And also, Sub-Episode 1 was based over in Fashion Square Shopping Center of Charlottesville, Virginia. [Chris then realizes he just completely blew the HUGE SURPRISE that the events, people, and places in the Sub-Episode have IRL parallels.] Although I guess that's uh...nah never mind, I said it. I don't care. Don't come after me, especially since [Switches to a mocking voice, similar to that of the Gumbys on "Monty Python's Flying Circus"] I'M BEING A BIG BAD IDIOT. I'M A BLACK JERKHEIF WHO WORKS OVER THERE. DURR DURR DURR.

Anyway. Sub-Episode 2, starring myself again. "The Rise and Fall of My Heart." It's based on real life, actually happened March 29th, 2005. So I'm waiting in my usual place hoping to hope waiting for a girl to uh approach me. And then I'm thinkin' again. Eh, also like you know my heart was also, uh, shattered like a couple of y-l-shattered like a couple of years back by, uh, Sl-Slawee by uh Sl-quote-unquote Slaweel Ryam. Anyway.

[Narrating] At this point, it's been almost a year and eight months now since I've started my Sweetheart Search. I'll try attract after eat my, uh, eight chicken nuggets since I had a coupon. Maybe I'll get lucky today! And then all of a sudden this girl comes up, she's es-uh-es... [Abruptly switches to a dialog format]

Girl: [Chris doing a high-pitched pseudo-feminine voice] "Escuse me, but..."

CWC: "Huh?"

Girl: "I heard that you were looking for a sw-sweetheart, right?"

CWC: "He says uhhhhh uh yes! I happen to need uh a girlfriend. So uh what's your name?"

Fandanna: "My name is Fandanna."

CWC: "I'm Christian, but you may call me Chris."

Fandanna: "So I was wondering if you wanna have a coffee at the uh, shop with me that's nearby."

CWC: "Ugh. Okay sure."

[Abruptly switches back to a casual narration] Then she walks off and I'm a show like you know oh my god I was eating I was eating my lunch and then uh, suddenly this happened? Eh, ohboyohboyyeah. Eh. So it's like, you know, me and her in fifteen minutes it's like [voice crescendos] ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! YES! YES! MY SWEETHEART SEARCH IS FINALLY OVER! [singing] DAAAOOOH THIS IS HEAVEN! Heaven! [zooms in on the comic] Oh look there's a little St. Peter. Hehhehhehheh. Yay!

So moments later I'm at the nearby coffee shop, and I'm s-waiting for her to, uh, meet me here and she'slike-oh this is fantastic! A girl has finally noticed me! And we're about to drink together and talk? [sing-song] OH I'M SO ELATED! Oh and Rosechu comes in and she's like: [Another abrupt switch to the action]

Rosechu: "Oh I'm excited too, you know, you finally...did this and it's all going well for you?"

CWC: "Heh, oh yes Rosechu. I am also glad that all my hedgehogs are cheering me on too. Hey listen, why don't you go spread the word throughout CWCville? [Pause, switches to a darker brooding tone] Hm. She'll be he-she'll be here soon."

Rosechu: Okay pop, I'll check in later. [She walks away, and pulls out a cell phone. Chris mouths a sound effect that's supposed to be a phone speed-dialing but sound more like a computer on Star Trek calculating something, then says the most convincing line of the entire video] Hm. Bubbles? Yeah, this is Rosey. Uh, you are not going to buh-leeeeeve this!"

[Abruptly back to narration] ...as she walks off talking to her on the phone. And then a few minutes later, eh so Fandanna's sitting in front of me, she says like: [Back to dialog]

Fandanna: "So. How are you?"

CWC: "Oh, I'm okay. Uh, so what are your hobbies?"

Fandanna: "Oh well I enjoy playing my guitar, and reading Chuck Paladuck."

CWC: "Oh, I bet that uh you play very great numbers."

Fandanna: "Oh I've only practiced a couple of yeeeeears. But I may play for you sometime if you like."

CWC: "Oh yeah sure. That would be great. [Stealing Fandanna's next line] Also please tell me abou-oh wait no.

Fandanna: "Also please tell me about ye-about your necklace. Is it..."

CWC: [Interrupts] "Oh yes my Sonichu medallion! This is the place of my electric hedgehog Pokemon. Let me show you my uh Sonichu book.

[Immediate jump to narration] ...that I had on me that day for real. So I showed her a few pages.

[Jump cut]

So after I left, I gave uh Fandanna uh I look backed at her I gave her a DOUBLE-TAKE FLIRT. Which I learned that uh recently. Uh then I call my family and I retire to the spot by the tree in front of the uh Sun-Par. I started thinking in mind about steps for future dates and checked with my S-Nintendo DS game "Sprung" for uh more tips.

And uh, now we look in on Rosechu passing by the uh coffee shop talkin' to Wild Sonichu on her tele-on her cell phone, he say, "Oh yeah, Wild, her name is Fandanna. Yeah. You'd fall for her too if you were human. Oh, hang on, I hear some gossip." So she overhears. As I. Fandanna. [Immediately back to dialog]

Person 1: Do I hear wedding bells?

Person 2: Or, do you think he's dreamy?

Fandanna: Oh, well, I'll tell ya I never meant anything. I was yankin' his chain. It was my boss's idea. Heh. [gasps]

Rosechu: Oh my god, wow. Wow, d-I have to call you back.

[Narrating]] Rosechu says:

Rosechu: Oh poor Chris. I have to tell him. He'll be upset. But s-it's the right thing to do.

[Jumps back to narration] Meanwhile, I'm playing "Sprung" and sounds like you know I'm reading along he's like, [pensively] "So do angels have names...hmm...it sounds about right." Rosechu approaches me, "Uhhhhh, Chris?" "Yes. Rosey, what's up?" Looking very concerned and deep in thought, she says, "I'm sorry, but I have sumpin very important to tell you. I overheard Fandanna talking to her fellow employees? She said that she was playing you for a SAP. She's not really interst-in to you. [Dialog again]

CWC: [gasps] "I'M IN SHOCK. NO, IT CANNOT BE TRUE."

Rosechu: "I'm afraid it is."

CWC: [Grunts like Bruce Banner changing into the Hulk in the middle of taking a giant shit] Well, fine I'll go ask her myself. Rosechu, please watch my things and keep my spot warm. My usual spot I wait at that is at the mall.

[Narrates] So then a moment later I catch her attention and I say:

CWC: Fandanna?

Fandanna: Uhhhh yeah?

CWC: Listen. I just heard from a friend that you were yanking my you were pranking me and yanking my chain. [Dramatic] Please...say it isn't so!

Fandanna: Oh, I'm afraid it is. It's true. My friends wanted me to play around with you I thought it would be funny.

CWC: OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T FIND ME A BIT INTERESTING? Didn't you care a bit about me? Didn't our mini-date mean anything to you? Didn't you want to see to...see me most often?

Fandanna: No.

CWC: [Tearing sound effect, gasps] My heart's been shattered again! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [becomes almost too soft to hear, then gradually louder] I'm cryin' wuh-tear we're falling tears it hurts so much it hurts so gawd dang much.

[Narration] But, uh, earlier during that mini-date, which I'm not even counting that as a date I never I'm not counting that as a date. I've never counted it as a date after it ended. Anyway, I had her e-mail address, so I sent her an e-mail reply saying:

"Fandanna? I just wanted to say that I appreciate you being the first to approach and say anything to me. I get very nervous and I was hoping for that to happen. Also, I preshu you taking the time to chat with me at the shop, and I was very elated an' at-cited an' butterfly-heartful for the positive events. [mildly scolding tone] But it was not very nice of you to have led me on like that! Just to pull a prank on me! I was terribly HURT! Before you stepped in my world, my heart was previously shattered due to previous events and it was 20 percent repaired. After you came in, my heart had a miraculous speedy recovery to a hundred percent! Then after I had learned from you that it was a lie my heart was shattered back ta 15 PERCENT! There is a lesson to learn to this. [deliberately] NEVER MAKE A JOKE OR PRANK AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER PURSE'S FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS! [back to a polite tone] Still, after cooling off, I also want to say that I thought that you, Fandanna, looked very pretty, I enjoyed your charming wit and personality, and I thought you had some nice and lovely girl. If you should ever change your mind on how you feel about me, you may look me up. But please tell me two things in your reply. You don't smoke do you? That st-that stuff really turns me off. And, you don't already have a boyfriend do you?

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler.

P.S. You may take this as a clue, but KEEP IN MIND that I DAAAAYID graduate from high school with honor roll, I did make good grades at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. You may wanna look up...you may wanna look it up in the search."

I forget what I h-had written there. I just crunch-crossed it out. Hmm. Anyway. Stay tuned for the next book! Have a good day.