Sonichu 1 Official Videobook

On 11 September 2009, Chris started uploading the official videobooks from Sonichu 1.

Episode 4

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Episode 5

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Episode 6

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Sub Episode 2

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Transcript

[Recording starts abruptly mid-sentence]...move on to the Sub-Episode 2 I just would like to, uh, state a couple of things of fact from book number one. Yeah, the uh first episode happened around Station Square and then the beach around Kel's house respectively, and then duh all this in the Episode 2 is like scenario was around Kel's house and the river that flowed from there. And uh then back in the and then back in the and then in Episode 3 mostly happened arou-it mostly happened in CWCville Shopping Mall all the battle and everything. And uh you know, just like, you know, the rest of the scenario, like you know, but for what happened started off from Kel's house and then ended up over at the CWCville Shopping Center. So let's just update, you know, just try to make it update an audiobook, anyway. Anyway.

And also, Sub-Episode 1 was based over in Fashion Square Shopping Center of Charlottesville, Virginia. [Chris then realizes he just completely blew the HUGE SURPRISE that the events, people, and places in the Sub-Episode have IRL parallels.] Although I guess that's uh...nah never mind, I said it. I don't care. Don't come after me, especially since [Switches to a mocking voice, similar to that of the Gumbys on "Monty Python's Flying Circus"] I'M BEING A BIG BAD IDIOT. I'M A BLACK JERKHEIF WHO WORKS OVER THERE. DURR DURR DURR.

Anyway. Sub-Episode 2, starring myself again. "The Rise and Fall of My Heart." It's based on real life, actually happened March 29th, 2005. So I'm waiting in my usual place hoping to hope waiting for a girl to uh approach me. And then I'm thinkin' again. Eh, also like you know my heart was also, uh, shattered like a couple of y-l-shattered like a couple of years back by, uh, Sl-Slawee by uh Sl-quote-unquote Slaweel Ryam. Anyway.

[Narrating] At this point, it's been almost a year and eight months now since I've started my Sweetheart Search. I'll try attract after eat my, uh, eight chicken nuggets since I had a coupon. Maybe I'll get lucky today! And then all of a sudden this girl comes up, she's es-uh-es...

[Abruptly switches to a dialog format]

Girl: [Chris doing a high-pitched pseudo-feminine voice] "Escuse me, but..."

CWC: "Huh?"

Girl: "I heard that you were looking for a sw-sweetheart, right?"

CWC: "He says uhhhhh uh yes! I happen to need uh a girlfriend. So uh what's your name?"

Fandanna: "My name is Fandanna."

CWC: "I'm Christian, but you may call me Chris."

Fandanna: "So I was wondering if you wanna have a coffee at the uh, shop with me that's nearby."

CWC: "Ugh. Okay sure."

[Abruptly switches back to a casual narration]

Then she walks off and I'm a show like you know oh my god I was eating I was eating my lunch and then uh, suddenly this happened? Eh, ohboyohboyyeah. Eh. So it's like, you know, me and her in fifteen minutes it's like [voice crescendos] ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! YES! YES! MY SWEETHEART SEARCH IS FINALLY OVER! [singing] DAAAOOOH THIS IS HEAVEN! Heaven! [Zooms in on the comic] Oh look there's a little St. Peter. Hehhehhehheh. Yay!

So moments later I'm at the nearby coffee shop, and I'm s-waiting for her to, uh, meet me here and she'slike-oh this is fantastic! A girl has finally noticed me! And we're about to drink together and talk? [sing-song] OH I'M SO ELATED! Oh and Rosechu comes in and she's like:

[Another abrupt switch to the action]

Rosechu: "Oh I'm excited too, you know, you finally...did this and it's all going well for you?"

CWC: "Heh, oh yes Rosechu. I am also glad that all my hedgehogs are cheering me on too. Hey listen, why don't you go spread the word throughout CWCville? [Pause, switches to a darker brooding tone] Hm. She'll be he-she'll be here soon."

Rosechu: Okay pop, I'll check in later. [She walks away, and pulls out a cell phone. Chris mouths a sound effect that's supposed to be a phone speed-dialing but sound more like a computer on Star Trek calculating something, then says the most convincing line of the entire video] Hm. Bubbles? Yeah, this is Rosey. Uh, you are not going to buh-leeeeeve this!"

[Abruptly back to narration]

...as she walks off talking to her on the phone. And then a few minutes later, eh so Fandanna's sitting in front of me, she says like:

[Back to dialog]

Fandanna: "So. How are you?"

CWC: "Oh, I'm okay. Uh, so what are your hobbies?"

Fandanna: "Oh well I enjoy playing my guitar, and reading Chuck Paladuck."

CWC: "Oh, I bet that uh you play very great numbers."

Fandanna: "Oh I've only practiced a couple of yeeeeears. But I may play for you sometime if you like."

CWC: "Oh yeah sure. That would be great. [Stealing Fandanna's next line] Also please tell me abou-oh wait no.

Fandanna: "Also please tell me about ye-about your necklace. Is it..."

CWC: [Interrupts] "Oh yes my Sonichu medallion! This is the place of my electric hedgehog Pokemon. Let me show you my uh Sonichu book

[Immediate jump to narration]

...that I had on me that day for real. So I showed her a few pages.

[Jump cut]

So after I left, I gave uh Fandanna uh I look backed at her I gave her a DOUBLE-TAKE FLIRT. Which I learned that uh recently. Uh then I call my family and I retire to the spot by the tree in front of the uh Sun-Par. I started thinking in mind about steps for future dates and checked with my S-Nintendo DS game "Sprung" for uh more tips.

And uh, now we look in on Rosechu passing by the uh coffee shop talkin' to Wild Sonichu on her tele-on her cell phone, he say, "Oh yeah, Wild, her name is Fandanna. Yeah. You'd fall for her too if you were human. Oh, hang on, I hear some gossip." So she overhears. As I. Fandanna.

[Immediately back to dialog]

Person 1: Do I hear wedding bells?

Person 2: Or, do you think he's dreamy?

Fandanna: Oh, well, I'll tell ya I never meant anything. I was yankin' his chain. It was my boss's idea. Heh. [gasps]

Rosechu: Oh my god, wow. Wow, d-I have to call you back [Narrating: Rosechu says] Oh poor Chris. I have to tell him. He'll be upset. But s-it's the right thing to do.

[Jumps back to narration]

Meanwhile, I'm playing "Sprung" and sounds like you know I'm reading along he's like, [pensively] "So do angels have names...hmm...it sounds about right." Rosechu approaches me, "Uhhhhh, Chris?" "Yes. Rosey, what's up?" Looking very concerned and deep in thought, she says, "I'm sorry, but I have sumpin very important to tell you. I overheard Fandanna talking to her fellow employees? She said that she was playing you for a SAP. She's not really interst-in to you.

[Dialog again]

CWC: [gasps] "I'M IN SHOCK. NO, IT CANNOT BE TRUE."

Rosechu: "I'm afraid it is."

CWC: [Grunts like Bruce Banner changing into the Hulk in the middle of taking a giant shit] Well, fine I'll go ask her myself. Rosechu, please watch my things and keep my spot warm. My usual spot I wait at that is at the mall. [Narrates: so then a moment later I catch her attention and I say] Fandanna?

Fandanna: Uhhhh yeah?

CWC: Listen. I just heard from a friend that you were yanking my you were pranking me and yanking my chain. [Dramatic] Please...say it isn't so!

Fandanna: Oh, I'm afraid it is. It's true. My friends wanted me to play around with you I thought it would be funny.

CWC: OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T FIND ME A BIT INTERESTING? Didn't you care a bit about me? Didn't our mini-date mean anything to you? Didn't you want to see to...see me most often?

Fandanna: No.

CWC: [Tearing sound effect, gasps] My heart's been shattered again! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [becomes almost too soft to hear, then gradually louder] I'm cryin' wuh-tear we're falling tears it hurts so much it hurts so gawd dang much.

[Narration]

But, uh, earlier during that mini-date, which I'm not even counting that as a date I never I'm not counting that as a date. I've never counted it as a date after it ended. Anyway, I had her e-mail address, so I sent her an e-mail reply saying:

"Fandanna? I just wanted to say that I appreciate you being the first to approach and say anything to me. I get very nervous and I was hoping for that to happen. Also, I preshu you taking the time to chat with me at the shop, and I was very elated an' at-cited an' butterfly-heartful for the positive events. [mildly scolding tone] But it was not very nice of you to have led me on like that! Just to pull a prank on me! I was terribly HURT! Before you stepped in my world, my heart was previously shattered due to previous events and it was 20 percent repaired. After you came in, my heart had a miraculous speedy recovery to a hundred percent! Then after I had learned from you that it was a lie my heart was shattered back ta 15 PERCENT! There is a lesson to learn to this. [deliberately] NEVER MAKE A JOKE OR PRANK AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER PURSE'S FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS! [back to a polite tone] Still, after cooling off, I also want to say that I thought that you, Fandanna, looked very pretty, I enjoyed your charming wit and personality, and I thought you had some nice and lovely girl. If you should ever change your mind on how you feel about me, you may look me up. But please tell me two things in your reply. You don't smoke do you? That st-that stuff really turns me off. And, you don't already have a boyfriend do you?

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler.

P.S. You may take this as a clue, but KEEP IN MIND that I DAAAAYID graduate from high school with honor roll, I did make good grades at Piedmont Virginia Community College. You may wanna look up...you may wanna look it up in the search."

I forget what I h-had written there. I just crunch-crossed it out. Hmm. Anyway. Stay tuned for the next book! Have a good day.