Wild Sonichu

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Sonichu character
Wild.jpg
Wild Sonichu
Date of birth 2 February 1989 (in universe)

21 February 2006 (IRL)

Gender Male
Length 4'7"[1] (122 cm)
Weight 120 lbs (54 kg)
Parents Scyther (adoptive father, presumably deceased), Venusaur (adoptive mother)
Species Sonichu (Electric Hedgehog Pokémon)
Type Electric/Grass
Evolves from Sonee (with Leaf Stone)
Evolves into N/A

Wild Sonichu is a Sonichu and supposed leader of the Chaotic Combo (though this position is usually assumed by Chris in any of his Mary Sue incarnations) that formed from eggs released by the rainbow as a result of the collision between Super Sonic the Hedgehog and a Pikachu. Like most of Chris's creations, he has absolutely no personality.

He is a Grass/Electric type, and a combination of several characters:

Major Comic Appearances

Sonichu Babies

After being hatched, Wild is adopted by a Scyther and a Venusaur. Growing up in his Sonee form, he learns to use Vine Whip and Razor Leaf attacks like other Grass-type Pokémon. Somehow, his adopted father manages to teach him valuable skills by repeating the same thing over and over. He eventually evolves into a green likeness of Sonichu with a "leafy tail" that looks like a beaver tail. Said tail is claimed to be usable as a propeller, but this has yet to be used. Probably the least enigmatic Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, which is quite a feat.

When Hedgehogs Meet

While swinging from vines, he is hit by Blake who is trying to steal the Legendary Master Sunstone on a hover board. He then teams up with the rest of the Chaotic Combo for the first time and they team up to defeat Blake.

Smashed Hearts & Entrapment

Wild and the other Chaotic Combo are teleported to help fight Mary Lee Walsh. They are unable to save Crystal from being trapped in the Dark Mirror Hole. Luckily, they all have serious ADHD and forget about that, along with everyone else. This frees up time for more relationship drama and horrible sex.

Evil is Afoot

Wild acts like a jealous faggot when Bubbles and Angelica talk about how cool Bionic the Hedgehog is. He says he would get all the girls if he wasn’t kicked off the team for illegal vinal defense. This implies Wild is both a cheating liar and too retarded to understand basketball.

Rage Against the Garbage

Wild, Sonichu, and Rosechu are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building to find a Sonichu Ball and confront the evil Jason Kendrick Howell. Before entering the building, Wild cries about how his "father" Scyther was captured by poachers, acting emo for sympathy. Interestingly enough, Wild never bothered to look for his "father" after he saw the "passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes". Wild proceeds to immediately switch topics, turn invisible and sneak into the world's least secure building. He eventually recovers one of the Sonichu Balls, despite Rosechu and Sonichu failing in the most batshit way possible.

Episode 18 Prologue

Here we see the Chaotic Combo celebrating their 19th birthday on 2 February 2008. This is a lame-ass attempt to make Chris look like less of a pedofork. Almost nothing goes on, making this episode a very poor facade.

Spring Break

Wild informs Punchy that his taste in women, namely Angelica, sucks balls. Somehow Punchy is not offended, merely puzzled, and proceeds to plan out his rape. Other than setting up a very flimsy premise for Sonichu 9, Wild has no purpose in this comic, retarding him further as a character.

Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)

In the Dating Ed episode thus far, Wild attends the class alongside Punchy, making it apparent that nearly every main character is a desperate loser. Wild, after the first class is paired with Simonla by their teacher.

Of course, mere moments after meeting face to face, the two are hopelessly in love - Chris rips off Spider-Man by having Wild swing through the city with Simonla in his arms, in an attempt to simulate an actual romantic moment. After this one outing, Wild takes her home to his "vibrating bed" (srsly) then Simonla shows the blueprints of her own place. Why you'd show anyone the blueprints of your house is a mystery.

The fact that Wild seems to find Simonla attractive is proof enough that he is gay, as Simonla has got to be the least effeminate character in the entire comic, surpassing even Megagi's dykeness. However, Chris will never admit that his characters are as gay as he is.

Christian Chandler in Director Amenities

Wild Sonichu: Father of the Year.

After helping free Chris from the Time Void, Wild mostly takes a low-key role in the issue's lone episode until the waning pages of episode 21. Shortly after it is revealed that Wild and Simonla have congealed an egg together, Simonla is killed by a Voltorb planted in the ladies' room by Alec. Shortly after the announcement of Simonla's death, the egg hatches. Wild names his new daughter Sandy and raises her as a single father, Kramer vs. Kramer-style (Simonla will be portrayed in the film version by Meryl Streep). The comic ends with a jury consisting of the now-grown Sandy and Wild sentencing Simonla's murderers to death. The father and daughter then personally cooperate to execute Evan in the bloodiest manner possible.

Trivia

  • In a video uploaded 13 September 2009, Chris reveals that Wild Sonichu's adoptive Scyther father was in fact kidnapped "a long time ago". Chris goes on to reveal that Wild has to go and find him during the events of Sonichu Adventure.
  • Fans like to reimagine Wild as Sonic Snake, likely due to the events of Episode 17. This version of Wild is the only one that doesn't suck.
  • Chris told Jackie a proposed backstory for Wild: "Wild Sonichu's story is of after he loses his father to some Pok'emon poachers (possibly of Team Rocket and Giovanni), and years later, he hears the call of his father from afar, and he sets forward to find and rescue him. The ending being he finds his Scyther father evolved to a Scizor, and it draws into a plot similar to that in Star Wars between Luke and Vader."[2]

Gallery

References

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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Wild Sonichu


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