May 2012 Facebook posts

Chris's Posts

Hey, Trollies

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012 at 5:53 You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All. And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have Sexual Intercourse with a Half-Cherokee Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the backpage. You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made duct-tape wallet. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards. I ain't tellin' ya nothing. I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything. I ain't tellin' ya nothing. Good Day, Christian W. Chandler. May 1, 2012 P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to Jamie Hyneman; there was a MythBusters live show in Washington, D.C. on 24 March 2012, 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville. Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the MythBusters tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!

Saturday, 5 May 2012 at 6:43 She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my mom at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a friend. Aim your shit towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone. Sincerely, Christian W. Chandler. May 3, 2012

Mimms

Saturday, 12 May 2012 at 6:35 Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me. Facebook.com/TehRussian Sincerely, Christian W. Chandler 5/12/2012