Jimmy Hill
| “ | Think Once, Think Twice... Think Bike!!! | ” |
| Jimmy Hill, valiantly teaching road safety to his Sonichu fans[1]... | ||
The Legend
Jimmy Hill (full name James William Thomas Hill, OBE) is the true original creator of Sonichu, whom he devised after a two year prison term resulting from selling counterfeit Warner Brothers merchandise. Hill envisioned Sonichu as the first openly gay cartoon character (unlike the closeted Tinky-Winky and Spongebob characters). Hill's achievement won him almost instant fame among sympathetic London tabloids, who were quick to capitalize on Sonichu fever. A promotional offer ended with Hill selling millions of die-cast Sonichu figurines to loyal fans in the European Union. The equally engaging Sonichu television show has grossed additional millions, augmenting Hill's already bursting coffers.
Despite all his wealth and fame, Hill has remained true to the mission of Sonichu, which is to spread homosexuality among children as young as six years of age. Hill has been quoted as saying "Sonichu is like a televised friend. You can turn to him for support when you are questioning your own feelings for the opposite sex. I think that kids are just wonderful, and they should know from a very early age that homosexuality is a wonderful, beautiful, and beneficial variant of sex".
Hill's future plans include a line of Sonichu necklaces and pendants for millions of women who desire them, as well as hand-drawn Sonichu comic books, which Hill hopes will bring him additional profits.
July 2009, he announced on his website:
He has made so much money now that it's time to pass on the flame. From now on the one TRUE creator and distributor of Sonichu merchandise can be found here:
Thanks to the millions of Sonichu fans around the world for all of their support!
Sonichu Anime? How KAWAII!
Image from the extremely popular Sonichu anime, which is the hottest show in Europe.
"Sonichu, as your TRUE ORIGINAL CREATOR I command you to ZAP that wanker!"
Sonichu, the first openly gay children's cartoon character who is truly an inspiration to us all.
Oh no, it's the evil Chris-Chu!
Sonichu is popular. In Europe. Srsly.
The ad that started it all.
AND LOOK, IT'S IN A REAL MAGAZINE SO THEREFORE IT MUST BE REAL. TOTALLY NOT PRINTED OUT AND INSERTED ON TOP OF AN EXISTING PAGE.
Only in today's Europe can a man who was guilty of copyright infringement create such a brilliant and lovable gay children's character!
Even the Daily Mail can't help but cover Sonichumania in Europe.
Boxes of the #1 best selling DVD in the UK Yep, I'm on TV! - Jimmy Hill's Life Story
Within seconds, all of the Jimmy Hill DVDs were sold out.
Unlike Chris, Jimmy Hill was definitely on the honor roll.
Look familiar? That's because Chris STOLE Mr. Hill's brilliant cover for his own use
The Truth
James William Thomas Hill OBE (or "Jimmy" Hill as he's affectionately called by his millions of Sonichu fans) (born 22 July 1928) is an Ex-English football (Soccer, for you Americunts) player and BBC sports commentator who, unlike some faggots, went out and was fairly successful. Indeed, he was nominated for Mustache of The Year Award several times over the years. To this date, he has never once interacted with the autistic wonder; but as Chris's fail grows...
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PROTIP:
Don't be a faggot and troll as Jimmy Hill. Chris knows that he isn't real.
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Well Played, Son of A Duck
In what can only be described as a stroke of genius, Jimmy Hill extorted Chris's paranoia of being stolen from (Ironic, no?), and made the manchild believe that he was exploiting his creation. Frantic messages were sent to Chris's "fans"; and Jimmy Hill was savagely brutalized in the long-dead Sonichu 10. Even though Jimmy's joke has become a fond memory, the newfag population insists on shouting "TRUE AND ORIGINAL CREATOR"; not realizing that even Chris has caught on by now.
More stunning than Jimmy's high quality trolling is the fact that Chris believed every word. This, my friends, takes serious delusion. The belief that a famous athlete in Europe is ripping off your original character for a quick buck requires near fatal levels of dumbfuckery.
Sauces
External Links
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