Attraction Location

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As I sit and sigh,

I watch the girls go by.
Afraid of a lame intersecption,
I sit out in the open without hesitation.
Matching Girl descriptions are free,
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.

Poem by Chris[1]
What typically happens when Chris visits his attraction locations.

An Attraction Location,[2] also called an Attraction Spot,[3] is a CWC-ism for any place where Chris sits passively, hoping to attract the attention of single women. Along with his Attraction Sign and Axe body spray, use of an Attraction Location has been a crucial component of Chris's Love Quest.

In practice, the Attraction Locations that Chris chose left him exposed to discovery by various authority figures, who take umbrage with his methods. He steadfastly refused to abandon his post until he was either banned or forcibly removed from the premises. Undaunted, he would go on to find new Attraction Locations, only to be banned from them as well.

It's interesting to note that the use of these different locations marks some of the few significant milestones in Chris's life between 2003 and 2008, and even this minor change in his routine was forced upon him. It's entirely possible that if Chris had made less of a ruckus, he might still be sitting in his original Attraction Location to this day, indifferent to the years wasted in his fruitless endeavor.

Attraction Locations

In Charlottesville

In Ruckersville

  • 14 Branchland Court - Since late 2008, Chris has mostly confined his Love Quest to the Internet. While perhaps not officially an Attraction Location, his basic technique of sitting around waiting for love to find him remains unchanged.

Attraction time

Chris's time spent at his attraction location would be called his "attraction time".[6] While waiting for a boyfriend-free girl to approach him, he would do things such as play on his DS, watch videos on his DS, pace back and forth, sing loudly, and so forth. These activities which, obviously, were rather distracting to mall patrons (and not terribly attractive to nubile passersby), would factor into his being banned from such locations.

Due to his imbalanced biological clock (typically causing him to crash into slumber at about 6:30 A.M. and wake close to noon) attraction time would generally take place in the mid-to-late afternoon. This time would conveniently (and to the horror of the female patrons of Fashion Square) provide a higher concentration of potential sweethearts for Chris to harass.

Anna McLerran's "The Tale of the Crazy Pacer" is the definitive chronicle of Chris spending his attraction time, when he moved from sitting in front of Abercrombie & Fitch to PacSun, where Anna was working at the time.

See also


The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt

See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media

The places of Chris's life

Chris's homes: 14 Branchland Court (Chris's room | Chris's kitchen | Yard | 2014 house fire) | Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments | Surreywood Subdivision | Newberry Towne Subdivision | Rental House | Central Virginia Regional Jail | Western State Hospital | Big Island house

Chris's education: Greene County Primary School | James Madison University | Providence Middle School | Nathanael Greene Elementary School | Manchester High School | Piedmont Virginia Community College (not to be confused with Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens)

Chris's churches: Grace Baptist Church | Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

Chris's jobs: Cutco Cutlery | Wendy's | Books-a-million | Toys “R” Us | Sonichu Entertainment of America

Other attraction locations: University of Virginia | Charlottesville Fashion Square (Abercrombie & Fitch | Chick-fil-A | Pac Sun | Starbucks) | Wal-Mart (McDonald's) | Target | The GAMe PLACe | Impulse Gay Social-Club | Fridays After Five

Conventions: Animate! Raleigh | Anime Mid-Atlantic | BronyCon (2017 • 2018 • 2019) | MAGfest | OmegaCon | TooManyGames

Other places Chris has visited: Anytime Fitness | Best Buy | Burger King | Country Cookin | "Create-a-Crear Workshop" | Cville Pride | The End Games | GameStop | Golden Corral | McIntire Park | Region Ten | Snooky's Pawn Shop | Taco Bell

Cities of the World: Albemarle County (Advance Mills) | Bedford County (Big Island) | Charlottesville | Chesterfield County (Midlothian) | Greene County (Barboursville | Ruckersville | Stanardsville) | Harrisonburg | Lynchburg | Richmond

Countries of the World: Australia | Australatina | China | Confederate States | England | Germany | Italy | Iraq | Japan | Mexico | Molvanîa | Niger | Spain | Russia | United States (California | District of Columbia | Maryland | North Carolina | Ohio | Pennsylvania | Texas | Virginia | Washington)

Extra-terrestrial locations: Dimensions | The Moon | The Sun

Map of Chris's World