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Welcome to the CWCki!

The encyclopedia about Christian Weston Chandler .

WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR!

We currently have 2,901 articles...and counting!

*Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*

Da Update

It is currently January 2019.

For all current updates about Chris, visit the Kiwi Farms.

Presently, the CWCki lacks enough editors to maintain all of its updates, leading to "Da Update" being discontinued on 11 October 2018. Articles are still updated when possible by the remaining editors. Unfortunately, registration for new users has been disabled since 21 August 2018, due to abuse from spambots.

Quote of the Now

“	I have read your comments, and I am very disappointed. If you want to comment, comment like you were talking to me in person and face-to-face on Reddit, as well as on KiwiFarms. 😠⚡️	”
Chris on Reddit.

Begging Counter

Do not donate to or buy anything from Chris: he lies about needing money and habitually neglects his customers and supporters (and worse). It has been…

882

days since Chris last begged for money.

Record Streak: 1,722 days

946

days since Chris last uploaded pages to meet his (formerly) paid obligations to the Sonichu comic.

Record Streak: 2,366 days

6,027

days since Chris last applied for a job.

Record Streak: 6,027 days

An Etsy customer gambled that Chris would deliver and lost, still bitter over it three years later.

Article of the Now

In March 2026, Hyperdimension Neptunia announced a new game set for August, which introduces new official characters. Among those are CPU Blue Heart Ciel of Lastation (a reference to Sony), with a backstory contradicting Chris's lore. Chris's response was to complain about his Blue Heart OC being left out of the game. He also spammed demands, to a Twitter account promoting the game, that Hyperdimension Neptunia's CPU Blue Heart be renamed.

According to Chris CPU Blue Heart is the Console Patron Unit Goddess of the Nations of CWCville and Comma, and of the Commodore Consoles. Conceived by Chris after being force-fed Hyperdimension Neptunia lore by the Idea Guys, Scarlett serves as one of his escapist alter egos, providing a coping mechanism and enabling his messiah complex. Through this alter ego, Chris has also emerged as the figurehead of the Dimensional Merge, with his own group of "worshippers".

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Did You Know

... that Yawning Squirtle sells the best weed in CWCville?
- ... and that weed is an instant life sentence in maximum security prison?
... that Chris had a conversation with Sonichu while in a meeting with Mary Lee Walsh?
- ... and that Chris fired a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Walsh in the same meeting?
- ... and that this incident is what got him suspended from Piedmont Virginia Community College?
... that Chris insulted a mentally disabled fan?
... that for Christmas 2004, Chris asked Santa for a girlfriend?
- ... and that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
... that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eat pancakes instead of attending his Aunt Corrina's funeral the same day?
... that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of Anne Boleyn, Queen of England?
- ... and that Chris also believes one of his ancestors sailed aboard the Mayflower?
... that Keffals is an enabler of Chris at least since the Second Coming?

This Day in Christory

Today in Christory, in 2009, Chris decides to record and upload a tour of his house, showing the world the squalor he lives in. Rightly so, this prompted reactions from Bob over fears that they could be kicked out by the health department.

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In 2023, Chris is released from Central Virginia Regional Jail via a court order.