Difference between revisions of "BILLY MAYS"
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{{quote| | {{quote|NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY.|BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki}} | ||
[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|thumb|right|Now cracks a noble heart | [[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|thumb|right|Now cracks a noble heart / goodnight sweet prince / and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.]] | ||
[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|right|Billy Mays portrayed by Chris.]] | [[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|right|Billy Mays portrayed by Chris.]] | ||
[[BILLY MAYS]] was | [[BILLY MAYS]] (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was a TV advertising man turned Internet [[trolls|troll]], and a true patriot. Provided both epic lulz and wisdom in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#Sonichu]] and on the forum during his noble lifetime. He was infamous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of Oxiclean and the Big City Slider Maker. On [[2009#March|03 March 2009]], Chris under duress by [[Max]], declared BILLY the third mayor of [[CWCville]]; however, his reign was tragically cut short. | ||
In real life he was arch-enemies with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-YXgFv2IN4 Chef Tony] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHUAco_k-g Barry Scott]. | In real life he was arch-enemies with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-YXgFv2IN4 Chef Tony] and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHUAco_k-g Barry Scott]. | ||
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==Mayoralty== | ==Mayoralty== | ||
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING" and promised that everyone will go home somkey. He stated "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor BILLY MAYS instated several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by | His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home somkey. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instated several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating. Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months. | ||
==Death== | ==Death== | ||
[[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|right| | [[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|right|BILLY's message from beyond]] | ||
On Sunday, June 28, 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion over in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various | On Sunday, June 28, 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion over in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash's]] death on May 22. His family has asked for privacy. | ||
In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill | In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it ''look'' like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem, that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved TRUE and HONEST mayor of CWCville BILLY MAYS despite [[fail|failing]] at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a heart attack if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat autistic manchild who reeks of [[dirty, crapped briefs|feces]], screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND [[Honesty|HONEST]] MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude. | ||
==Post Death== | ==Post Death== | ||
In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video Chris | In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announced the near-completion of the Billy Mays Tower ''[sic]''. That a skyscraper could rise so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many [[CWCville]] residents believe Chris arranged the building of the tower as a way to launder money stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's popularity. | ||
{{CWCipedia|chris= | {{CWCipedia|chris=BILLY MAYS}} | ||
{{People}} | {{People}} | ||
Revision as of 00:45, 16 August 2009
| “ | NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY. | ” |
| BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki | ||
BILLY MAYS (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was a TV advertising man turned Internet troll, and a true patriot. Provided both epic lulz and wisdom in #Sonichu and on the forum during his noble lifetime. He was infamous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of Oxiclean and the Big City Slider Maker. On 03 March 2009, Chris under duress by Max, declared BILLY the third mayor of CWCville; however, his reign was tragically cut short.
In real life he was arch-enemies with Chef Tony and Barry Scott.
Mayoralty
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home somkey. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instated several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating. Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.
Death
On Sunday, June 28, 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion over in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of Christian Weston Chandler. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to Clyde Cash's death on May 22. His family has asked for privacy.
In Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009, Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it look like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem, that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved TRUE and HONEST mayor of CWCville BILLY MAYS despite failing at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a heart attack if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat autistic manchild who reeks of feces, screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND HONEST MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude.
Post Death
In his Rollin' and Trollin' video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announced the near-completion of the Billy Mays Tower [sic]. That a skyscraper could rise so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many CWCville residents believe Chris arranged the building of the tower as a way to launder money stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's popularity.
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