Difference between revisions of "Fangs"

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[[Image:SHOW_MAH_FANGS!.jpg]]
[[Image:SHOW MAH FANGS!.jpg|center|500px]]
Chris describes his teeth as '''fangs'''. He has them and isn't [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|afraid to show them]].


He has them and isn't [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|afraid to show them]].
==The Horror==
Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor [[PSEye|video quality]], Chris's fangs are more likely discolored as a result of the copious amounts of [[My Coke Rewards|soda]] he drinks (which has [[obesity|other]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|effects]] as [[Biological clock|well]]).<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref> The fact that he has [[Chris and health#Dental health|multiple visible cavities]] seems to support this, although Chris could just be too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that despite his claim to visit a dentist every 6 months, the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside, or any words that come out of it.


==The horror==
[[File:BearingFangs.png|left|thumb|300px|This is what Chris actually believes.]]


Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor [[PSEye|video quality]], it is more recently theorized that Chris's fangs are yellowing as a result of the copious amounts of [[semen|soda]] he drinks.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcki/index.php/Biological_clock</ref> The fact that he has [[Chris and health#Dental health|multiple visible cavities]] seems to support this, although Chris could just be far too lazy to brush his teeth. What ''is certain is that the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside.
==Powers==
{{quote|They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like fangs of a vampire, dpg [sic] or something to me.|Chris <ref>[[Sonichu Girls#Your understanding me_fukky .281 January 2009.29]]</ref>}}
 
Chris believes his teeth are more menacing than those of ordinary humans. He revealed his fangs in a series of videos in [[2009]], in some cases essentially shoving the PSEye in his mouth. He believed this to be intimidating, although the actual effect of being exposed to the inside of his mouth is revulsion. One can only infer from these threats that Chris intended to use them to bite his antagonists, but considering the awful state of his teeth, he'd be lucky if none fell out in the process.


==Powers==
Ironically, Chris's {{w|Canine tooth|canine teeth}} are so blunt and rounded that they almost look like incisors (front teeth). Though flat canines can be genetic, the canine teeth can gradually become blunted over the course of a lifetime, since they are involved in chewing – something Chris does a lot. Despite not even having reached middle age, Chris's teeth are already extremely blunt, meaning they would make for even less effective weaponry than the contents of the human mouth already do.


Chris revealed his fangs by essentially jamming his mouth in the camera.  For some reason he thinks this is an effective method of intimidating his [[Trolls|enemy]].  It works, but reasons other than Chris had intended.  [[The_Creepy_Stare|Close-ups of Chris's face have always caused people to back away in horror]].  His mouth is no exception.  What he intended to demonstrate is uncertain.  Perhaps he hoped his tormentors would fear being bitten.  Though this scenario has yet to take place, the resulting wound would no doubt [[Chris and health|get infected]] and bestow the recipient with a [[autism|horrifying disease]]. So in that respect, they are kind of scary.  Or would be if he weren't too housebound to use them.
Perhaps realizing this, Chris stopped baring his fangs after 2009 and has since upgraded his arsenal to a [[pocket knife]], [[28 October 2011|Son-]][[Son-Chu|Chu]], [[26 December 2014|mace]] and a [[Baseball bat]]. Even then, Chris still believes his canines to be actual "fangs", even going as far as depicting his Memoji with them.


==Wisdom teeth==
==Wisdom teeth==
Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He kept them in a jar on top of the [[Megan Shrine]] and made a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card with them on it. He also thought [[Julie]] would be impressed by this fact, letting her know that "I still have them preserved in a jar with a dash of alcohol.",<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]]</ref> [[Honor roll|seemingly unaware that since teeth are hard and solid objects, they shouldn't need to be preserved in anything]]. Being the [[Autism|bizarre]] [[Chris and his ego|narcissist]] that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short stories, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a card game says a lot about him.
The fate of the teeth following the [[2014 house fire]] remains unknown.
==Appearances==
[[File:SonichuFangs.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Chris opts to make his fangs appear to be more "adorable" than "menacing" in the comic.]]
* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009]]''': In this video, Chris stated that wasn't afraid to show [[Gregg Mays]] his "fangs." He then leaned toward the camera for a close-up of his upper teeth – in particular, [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|his two front teeth]].
* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]''': Chris did not clearly show his "fangs" in this video, but rather mentioned how he was prepared to show his "faaannngggsss [[Chris and Anger|only when he has to]]." He started to lean forward into the camera while presumably baring his teeth (one cannot clearly see them as the video quality is so poor), but he then swung back to his original posture instead of going for a full close-up.
* '''[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]''': Here, Chris threatened [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Clyde Cash]] by punching a doll, baring his teeth, and damaging his camera.
* '''[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]:''' On 23 April 2009, Chris again threatened Clyde by acting like an idiot, deliberately giving his audience a close-up of his teeth and [[Recycling|whitish]] tongue.
* '''[[12 October 2009]]:''' Chris again acted like a [[slow-in-the-mind]], showing both his teeth and his plumber's crack.
* '''[[Sign Destruction Video]]:''' On 6 December 2009, Chris threatened [[Vivian G]] by ripping apart a paper sign left in his yard, and then bit his clown's head off with his infected gums. He exposed his yellowed and rotting teeth to the audience, undoubtedly to show off his sugar-encrusted enamel.


Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He keeps them in a jar on top of the [[Megan Shrine]] and also made a Yu-Gi-Oh card with them on it. Being the bizarre narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short story, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds this mundane and common surgery interesting enough to think it'd be worth adding to a card game says a lot about how rarely Chris leaves his house.
==In the comics==
In [[Sonichu 10]], the devil [[Beel]] manages to steal [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s [[medallion]], causing him to revert back to ordinary Chris. At this nadir, Chris discovers that his powers actually reside in his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]], and he saves the day. To further bolster his self-esteem, Chris takes this moment to show his fangs, noting, "I have fangs for my eye-teeth." This turns out to have no bearing on the plot.


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<center>
<center>
<gallery>
<gallery>
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG|CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two My Little Ponies on the top shelf.
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG|CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two [[My Little Pony]] characters on the top shelf.
Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|So... are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or... something?
Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|So...are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or...something?
Image:ChrisCavities.JPG|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!
Image:ChrisCavities.JPG|Now that's what we call cavities.
File:SackboyChris.jpg|Chris's vampiric [[LittleBigPlanet]] avatar.
File:Chris Memoji fangs.jpeg|The fangs return in emoji form.
</gallery>
</gallery>
</center>
</center>


{{References}}
==See also==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and health]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Health}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{CWC-isms}}
{{CWC-isms}}
 
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Latest revision as of 18:09, 21 September 2024

SHOW MAH FANGS!.jpg

Chris describes his teeth as fangs. He has them and isn't afraid to show them.

The Horror

Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor video quality, Chris's fangs are more likely discolored as a result of the copious amounts of soda he drinks (which has other effects as well).[1] The fact that he has multiple visible cavities seems to support this, although Chris could just be too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that despite his claim to visit a dentist every 6 months, the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside, or any words that come out of it.

This is what Chris actually believes.

Powers

They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like fangs of a vampire, dpg [sic] or something to me.
Chris [2]

Chris believes his teeth are more menacing than those of ordinary humans. He revealed his fangs in a series of videos in 2009, in some cases essentially shoving the PSEye in his mouth. He believed this to be intimidating, although the actual effect of being exposed to the inside of his mouth is revulsion. One can only infer from these threats that Chris intended to use them to bite his antagonists, but considering the awful state of his teeth, he'd be lucky if none fell out in the process.

Ironically, Chris's canine teeth are so blunt and rounded that they almost look like incisors (front teeth). Though flat canines can be genetic, the canine teeth can gradually become blunted over the course of a lifetime, since they are involved in chewing – something Chris does a lot. Despite not even having reached middle age, Chris's teeth are already extremely blunt, meaning they would make for even less effective weaponry than the contents of the human mouth already do.

Perhaps realizing this, Chris stopped baring his fangs after 2009 and has since upgraded his arsenal to a pocket knife, Son-Chu, mace and a Baseball bat. Even then, Chris still believes his canines to be actual "fangs", even going as far as depicting his Memoji with them.

Wisdom teeth

Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He kept them in a jar on top of the Megan Shrine and made a Yu-Gi-Oh! card with them on it. He also thought Julie would be impressed by this fact, letting her know that "I still have them preserved in a jar with a dash of alcohol.",[3] seemingly unaware that since teeth are hard and solid objects, they shouldn't need to be preserved in anything. Being the bizarre narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short stories, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a card game says a lot about him.

The fate of the teeth following the 2014 house fire remains unknown.

Appearances

Chris opts to make his fangs appear to be more "adorable" than "menacing" in the comic.

In the comics

In Sonichu 10, the devil Beel manages to steal Chris-chan Sonichu's medallion, causing him to revert back to ordinary Chris. At this nadir, Chris discovers that his powers actually reside in his high school ring, and he saves the day. To further bolster his self-esteem, Chris takes this moment to show his fangs, noting, "I have fangs for my eye-teeth." This turns out to have no bearing on the plot.

Gallery

References

See also

The CWC-tionary

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Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media