BILLY MAYS
| “ | NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY. | ” |
| BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki | ||
WILLIAM DARRELL "BILLY" MAYS (20 July 1958 – 28 June 2009) was a TV advertising man turned Internet troll, and a true patriot. Provided both epic lulz and wisdom in #Sonichu and on PVCC during his noble lifetime. He was famous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of OxiClean and the Big City Slider Station. On 3 March 2009, Chris, under duress by BlueSpike, declared BILLY the third Mayor of CWCville; however, his reign was tragically cut short.
In real life he was arch-enemies with Chef Tony,[1] Barry Scott,[2] and Vince Shlomi.[3]
Mayoralty
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home smokey. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instituted several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating.[citation needed] Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.
Murder
On 28 June 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of Christian Weston Chandler. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to Clyde Cash's apparent death on 22 May 2009. His family has asked for privacy.
In Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009, Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it look like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved True and Honest Mayor of CWCville BILLY MAYS despite failing at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a heart attack if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat autistic manchild who reeks of feces, screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND HONEST MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude.
In Sonichu #9, BILLY MAYS fails to free Ivy when she is strangled by elevator wires. The slickness of the walls keeps him from climbing up them to save her. However, the walls of text and general bad writing led to some confusion and the belief that he also died in the comic.
In Chris's Biography Page on the CWCipedia, he lists BILLY MAYS as a "non-cannon" character, despite his appearance in central episodes of Chris's comics.
Post death
In his Rollin' and Trollin' video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announces the near-completion of the BILLY MAYS Tower. That a skyscraper could have been constructed so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many CWCville residents believe Chris arranged the building of the Tower as a way to launder money stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the Tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's popularity.
See also
- Chris-chan Discusses... Billy Mays - Chris discusses his involvement with BILLY's death with Guru Larry.
Sources
| |||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||
| ||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||
| ||||||||
| |||||
