Cole: The antithesis of Chris.
Joseph Cole Smithey, born in 1963[1] to become the "smartest film critic in the world", is Chris' half-brother and Barbara's first son who, despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, seems to be a pretty normal guy.[2]
Cole doesn't get along with the Chandler family and isn't on good terms with Robert or Barbara. Cole hates Bob so much, the only possibility of a touching family reunion between Chris and Cole would be as soon as "that fuck Bob finally drops".[3][4][5]
Chris sent Cole an email asking Cole to vote for him in the Parappa Contest. In return, Chris offered to get the truth out of Barbara, but only if Cole would vote for him in the PaRappa the Rapper contest he entered.[6] Chris did ask his mother about it, but apparently she lied once again. Chris himself was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is.[7] This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara.[8] Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.
For Cole's 37th birthday, Chris gave him A CD For Cole Smithey!, in which Chris attempts to talk like a DJ. Natuarally, the present had little to do with Cole and everything to do with Chris, even featuring a picture of him on the cover.
Cole currently lives in New York with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world" and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.[9]
Gallery
Cole with Chris and their shared mother, Barbara.
Cole & Chris at Chris's 18th birthday.
"Coles Buddy." MORE LIKE BUTT BUDDY, AMIRITE?
As if Barbara had any involvement in the CD
Sites featuring Cole's reviews
References
People
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Immediate
family
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| Other
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| Desired acquaintanceships
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Collaborators
(creators Chris promoted)
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Women
(cut ties with Chris)
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| Gal-pals
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| Staff
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| Defense lawyers
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| Prostitutes
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| Fantasy enablers
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Catfishers
(Internet/phone only)
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Catfishers
(met with Chris)
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Trolls
(internet-only)
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Trolls
(internet-only,
impersonating celebrities)
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| Trolls (met with Chris)
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| Allies
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| A-logs
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| Media personalities
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| In media
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