Bob Chandler
| “ | Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now. |
” |
| Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack | ||
Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.[1] (09 February 1928[2]–soon) is Chris's father.
He never washes his hands.[3] This causes Chris as much, or perhaps more, stress than the slanderous trolls. Chris says he starts more arguments "than flies on a garbage dump."[4] He also invented a control panel for plastic molding machines, and declared that Barack Obama would paint the White House black as soon as he became president.
Robert's step-son, Cole, despises him and will only contemplate a family reunion once "that fuck Bob finally drops."[5]
Despite being a racist, homophobic redneck, Bob's become a firm favorite with trolls in the CWC world recently, due to Chris's intense dislike of him, along with Bob's infamous cameo in the Chris-chan caught fapping incident and threatening to cut down Chris's internets. His nickname, the "Internet Lumberjack", comes precisely from this phrase. Later, Bob chaperoned Chris to his date with Emily.
Background
Bob was drafted after World War II and acquired skills in the Signal Corps. When he got out in 1947, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the G.I. Bill.[6] As an engineer, he can't spell.
It is known that Bob worked for General Electric at some point, during which time he was responsible for at least seven patents. Barbara claimed, in an e-mail to "Miyamoto", that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the NES "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by Ralph Baer). He also designed controls for plastic molding machines.
Bob traveled around the world in his day for business and pleasure.
He knows a lot about the world and almost hindered progress on uncovering the truth about Molvanîa.
Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.[7] Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.[8] According to Chris, Barbara did the persuing: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.[7]
Chris on his dad
| “ | well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements, annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded. | ” |
| Chris[3] | ||
Audio and video appearances
- 14 February 2009: Bob Walks In to Chris mass debating.
- 18 February 2009: In BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5 and 3.7, Bob rambles to Julie.
- 15 March 2009: Bob talked to Robert Simmons V at church while Chris went to shit himself.
- March 2009: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with Emily.
- 27 March 2009: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the Tour of Christian's House, but is not visible.
Gallery
Notice Chris's discomfort.
Bob with Aunt Corina.
"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your Nintendo."
Bob: fashion icon.
Bob learning how to cut that Internet down.
Bob at Christmas time.
The epitome of handsome.
Bob and Barbara Chandler, before she evolved into Snorlax.
Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
Sauces
See Also
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