Sonichu 11
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Unfinished
Chris has yet to complete this project due to stress.
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THAT IS MY LINK!!!
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| Sonichu #11 | |
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| Cover Date: | 13 August 2009 |
| Finished: | incomplete |
| Page Count: | 39 (so far) |
| Sonichu Comics | |
| Previous Sonichu #10 |
Next Sonichu #12 |
| “ | I have not ended Sonichu; I only lost inspiration to draw, thanks to the people online. | ” |
| Chris, September 2010.[1] | ||
| “ | I am getting back into the swing of drawing, writing and coloring my pages. The stories resume! And I am not letting too many cooks into this kitchen like I did inadvertently with the haters. | ” |
| Chris, September 2015.[2] | ||
Sonichu #11 is the twelfth comic in the Sonichu comic series, dated 13 August 2009. The cover claims to be the tenth anniversary issue. (Ten years without a "cease and desist" letter from Nintendo or Sega!) Chris abandoned the issue in December 2009, months before the tenth anniversary of Sonichu's creation came and went on 17 March 2010. For years it seemed that Chris was done with Sonichu forever. On 4 September 2015, however, Chris managed to crawl back from his long dark night of abuse at the hands of the trolls and cyber-bullies, and finally released new pages.
Chris began writing this issue while Sonichu #10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," which is even more unendurably boring than its prose counterpart. Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with eight pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with Reldnahc and the anti-gay vaccine from the future.
The glorious resurrection of this comic in September 2015 was accompanied by a donation bucket on his new Etsy account. Money would go towards production of Sonichu #11, with a single character drawing offered to each person who donates, almost like a poor man's Patreon. So far, only a few new pages have been added, but in them, the ubiquitous elements of Sonichu - boring and confusing plotlines, sexualisation of underage characters, walls of text and blatant racism - are present and accounted for.
A Sonichu Christmas
| Resources | |
| A Sonichu Christmas | |
| Primary: | |
| Facebook: | A Sonichu Christmas |
| CWCipedia: | A Sonichu Christmas |
| Secondary: | |
| Audiobooks: | A Sonichu Christmas |
In December 2009, in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story," at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's prose was adapted into comic form - the short story "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" served as the basis for Episodes 1 and 2 in Sonichu #0. The story contains nothing of substantial value to the overarching saga of Sonichu, instead just depicting the Lovehogs' hellish offspring partaking in various boring Christmas activities, with no conflict or general narrative friction whatsoever.
The comic opens to show Sonichu's family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris reused the original 14 Brunchland Lane picture seen in Sonichu #9 with half-assed editing of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of Reldnahc running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cerah, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.
While rehearsing for a Christmas pageant at her school, Christine plagiarizes a joke from Family Guy when she ad libs that the Virgin Mary may not really have been a virgin, which has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like Christine has been raped or molested. Sonichu and Robbie are seen to be hanging stockings, and Robbie butchers a quote from a holiday classic. After a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes-inducing speech about loving his little angelic kids.
Meanwhile Rosechu and Cerah make cookies. Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid named Kevin in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cerah says "I wuv you!" while facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall.
In the living room, Robbie and Cerah notice that it has begun to snow. As they watch, Sonichu and Rosechu discuss the weather forecast and decide to hoard groceries while the roads are still clear. While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites Luke 1:45-55 (which Chris types as Luke 1:46.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how GodJesus will reward the humble and punish the proud and the mighty. While this passage is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any American public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal.
Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries, and is welcomed home woodenly by Rosechu. His trip to the grocery store is not depicted or described in any way, rendering it a pointless plot feature.
The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A KCWC announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca"and a warm shower. Rosechu nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." The kids wake and greet their father in unsettling unison, to which Sonichu replies with a hearty "good mornint." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of snow, Sonichu decides to show off in front of the kids by jumping up their chimney like Santa Claus. Outside, he uses his super speed to scatter the snow off of his yard, heedless of the likelihood that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and possibly cause a tragic accident. Exhausted, he heads back into the house for a shower. Waiting patiently by the bathroom (because Chris thinks women spend all their time waiting to be directed by men), Rosechu holds a hideous novelty Christmas towel and blesses Sonichu for doing thirty seconds of chores.
To bore us further, we are informed that Robbie plays video games and watches TV and Rosechu is motivated only by her desire to cook and clean. Cerah plays a game with Kevin the Jew. She chides him that he "can't be so attached to a set of pixels." The two fight over the game and Cerah contacts Magi-Chan to discuss her angsty attraction to Kevin, despite the fact that she's supposed to be a toddler. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Robbie meet a homeless woman and instead of offering her a place to sleep in their luxury home provided by the city of CWCville, they call her a cab to a soup kitchen. Robbie announces that he feels embarrassed by his enormous reservoir of empathy for the less fortunate.
Blake and Bubbles are approached by Inos, who wishes them a happy Kwanzaa. Blake remarks apropos of nothing that he is NOT RACIST before expressing furious rage at the mere notion of someone thinking he is black, insisting mystifyingly that his fur does not look "skinburn colour." A retroactive flashback informs us that Simonla actually survived the Voltorb attack in Sonichu #10 due to a healing ability that was only mentioned in this exact scene. She is reunited with Wild, her (for all intents and purposes identical) daughter Sandy, and Zapina, who hugs Simonla and calls her "sis."
As they leave the hospital, Sandy's thoughts turn toward the "bad men" in Amish Country and whether or not they celebrate Christmas. Wild immediately checks his smart phone and explains that the Amish actually celebrate two Christmases, focusing on "family, togetherness and reglion (sic)". Sandy imagines Mao and Alec trading simple building materials on Christmas, before orgasming at the thought of raising a barn. Mao and Alec also appreciate the fact that Sean is placated by rocks, for he indeed rocks. (No word on what Evan was doing on Christmas, so one can assume he got jack shit.) Sandy finishes her fantasy by proclaiming the Amish "weird". Wild and Simonla then take Sandy and Zapina (who may or may not have her own family) off to Country Cookin' to celebrate. An author's note helpfully points out that all Sonichus and Rosechus drive hybrids.
Up on the mountains, Magi-Chan and Silvana Rosechu huddle around a fire, and exchange flat statements about how they are "fated" to be a couple. Silvana thanks Magi-Chan for all the character development that has occurred off-panel, and asks if he remembers how they first met. Magi-Chan suggests, "at the risk of breaking the fourth wall", they save the story they both know for another time. Silvana then demands they "shut up, make out and mate up" and Magi-Chan expresses his desire to literally destroy the mountain they are on via violent intercourse.
We then see Punchy decorating his dojo, and Angelica "sets a table" (which we can see is the church altar, and treating it as a dining table is a bit of a no-no in Catholicism). No sign of Reginald or Layla though; perhaps Reginald's constant attempts at relationship sabotage have finally borne fruit.
At long last, we see Christine performing in the Nativity Play (along with Kevin, who must have renounced Judaism after that run-in with a candle cookie). Suddenly, Christine begins to evolve, and runs off stage in embarrassment. She texts Rosechu about the fact her growth has destroyed her clothes and Sonichu rushes home to get new ones. Rosechu finds the now adult Christine behind a locked door, and comforts her by sharing in a duet of "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Sonichu suddenly returns with "coat, sandals, socks, panties" before regaling everyone with an incredibly detailed account of his trip home and back. Christine triumphantly returns to the stage and completes her part, despite dwarfing the rest of the cast.
After the play, Cera approaches Kevin and apologizes for killing off his video game character, offering him dreidel cookies as a way of making amends (he apparently reclaimed his Judaism immediately after the pageant). Kevin calmly explains (with an unhealthy amount of bad military jargon) how Cera's aggressive video game playing has proven "too much for him" and unceremoniously breaks up with her (being a greedy bastard, he still keeps the cookies).
Devastated, Cera breaks down into tears and the famously empathetic Robbie comes over to comfort her. Together, they cry for two solid minutes before deciding they're basically over it. Christine scoops up her siblings, Rosechu mentioning how she's gone from "middle child to big sister", and they all head off in their electric car.
What Can We Anticipate?
The ultimate content of future episodes can only be speculated on; doubtless, it will consist of the first thing that comes to Chris's head whenever he can be bothered to scrawl a few pages. Sonic appears prominently on the cover, making it probable that he will make his first appearance since he helped Sonichu rescue Rosechu way back in Sonichu #1.
Chris has said that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed."[3] This is almost entirely incomprehensible, as a reboot is a declaration by a Great Director that previously-established canon is null and void, or at least irrelevant. For example, Batman Begins was a fresh start with no canonical relation to the comic book source material or the previous film franchise. A clip show, on the other hand, is a TV episode composed mainly of excerpts from previous episodes. Neither of these correspond to answered questions or revealed plots. It's possible that by "Clip Show," Chris meant that Sonichu #11 would contain more backstory, while by "reboot," he meant that the existing "plot" would be clumsily resolved in a couple of pages before establishing a new status quo (though considering Chris's pathological revulsion to change, this isn't likely). It is likely that a "clip show" issue would allow Chris to release an issue by reusing content from the previous ones.
Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, "METAL SONICHU is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."[4] He later elaborated, "Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond [Sonichu #10], possessing the Metal Sonichu that crashed on the moon back in Book 1.[5] The issue may also move to RuleCWC: Chris has said that "Darkbind and Zelina will be fighting Clawdorf with great sword and bow/arrow battles."[6]
There may also be a lack of Great Director intrusion: "After Book 10, I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the trials and tribulations in my life, real and online, that it completely messed me up."[7]
The long-awaited continuation of Sonichu 11 in September 2015 has so far involved only the playing-out of the boring Christmas story and the revelation that Simonla is not dead after all. The comic has an attached Etsy where donations would apparently go towards production of the comic. As promised, Chris has not appeared or been mentioned in the comic and the focus has been primarily on Sonichu and his family. Alarmingly yet, the comic is about the characters' mundane personal problems and not the high-concept adventure you'd expect from a Sonic the Hedgehog knockoff.
Hoax conclusion
On 24 April 2010, the Sysop of the CWCipedia uploaded two new episodes from Sonichu #11. These stories picked up where Sonichu #10 left off and continued the dark and downbeat tone: Bubbles and Angelica were killed in the bombing of the CWCville Mal-Wart; Sandy Rosechu was run over by an inattentive driver; Wild committed suicide in a fit of grief and rage; Christine and Robbie were killed and Cerah badly injured when the three of them drank drain cleaner; Rosechu smothered her permanently crippled daughter with a pillow; Sonichu demanded a divorce; and Reginald Sneasel decided to show the world his "seven-inch lightning rod."
Despite an overwhelmingly positive fan response to the new pages, Chris clarified in a rage-filled CWC Blog update that they were the work of a troll. During The Great Rampage 2.0 (when the CWCipedia was hacked for the second and final time), the pages were restored, but the CWCipedia died the next day.
Gallery
| Special Episode - A Sonichu Christmas |
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Development Images
On 5 September 2015, a set of uncolored development images of Sonichu #11 pages was leaked. They appear to prove that the 2015 pages were in fact new, and not something he had been holding back for an extended time.
Fan videos
| Sonichu #11 Trailer | |
| Stardate | 11 August 2011 |
| Made By | archhalljr10 |
| Subject Matter | Sonichu #11 |
| Video Type | Fan trailer |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
References
External links
- Sonichu #11
- 2015 Pages of Sonichu 11
- [srtf.deviantart.com/favourites/51290362/Sonichu-11-Alt-Ending/ Sysop's FALSE and DISHONEST version of pages 13-38]