Cole Smithey

Cole: The antithesis of Chris.

Full Name: Joseph Cole Smithey, Cole is Chris' half-brother and Barbara's first son, who despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother seems to be a pretty normal guy.^[1]

Cole doesn't get along with the Chandler family and isn't on good terms with Robert or Barbara. Cole hates Bob so much, the only possibility of a touching family reunion between Chris and Cole would be as soon as "that fuck Bob finally drops".^[2]^[3]^[4]

Chris sent Cole an email asking Cole to vote for him in the Parappa Contest. In return, Chris offered to get the truth out of Barbara, but only if Cole would vote for him in the PaRappa the Rapper contest he entered.^[5] Chris did ask his mother about it, but apparently she lied once again. Chris himself was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is.^[6] This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara.^[7] Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

Cole currently lives in New York with his wife Katherine, is a movie critic and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.^[8]

Gallery

Cole with Chris and their shared mother, Barbara.
Cole & Chris at Chris's 18th birthday.
"Coles Buddy." MORE LIKE BUTT BUDDY, AMIRITE?

Sites featuring Cole's reviews

His Webpage
Cole's Rottentomatoes.com profile.

References

People

v • d • e Family

Immediate family	Christian Weston Chandler • Bob Chandler • Barbara Chandler

Pets	Patti • Chandler Cats • Clover and Snoopy

Other	Anne Boleyn • Aunt Corrina • Aunt Harriet • Cole Smithey • Daniel Weston • Savannah Chandler • Uncle Tom • Minor Family Members • Chandler family tree

v • d • e Acquaintances

Hobbies	Joseph Herring • Daniel Mimms / Lucas • Pokémon League friends • Midnight Moonflower

Desired acquaintanceships	Caitlin • Lindsay Kaye

Collaborators (creators Chris promoted)	Bryanfrogboy • ChuuChuuRocket • Don Lashomb • Praetor

Women (cut ties with Chris)	Megan Schroeder • The Wallflower • DoopieDoOver • Fiona

Gal-pals	Natasha Turner • Sarah Nicole Hammer • Laura Beth Dorazio • Kellie Andes • Tiffany Gowen

Staff	Rocky Shoemaker • Virginia Jeanine Sanford

Defense lawyers	David Heilberg • Rob Bell

Prostitutes	Mia Hamm

v • d • e Enablers

White knights	Anna McLerran • The Pinch • CWCProtectSquad (Tings Tingz) • Guard Dogs (Null • The Captain) • Watchmen (Kyle • Naught • MKRNightVee • Owls • The WCT • Val) • Otaku King

Fans	Caleb and Lily • Clare Porter • DStecks • Eels and the Egg-man • Helena Fiorenza • Kai • Karen Riley • Kenneth Engelhardt • Michael Afghani • Sonichu Girls

v • d • e Christubers and Interviewers

Christubers	Copitz • Dillin Thomas • Geno Samuel • GiBi • PewDiePie • The Sergeant at Arms • Xleepy

Interviewers	Arthur Spatchcock • Ethan Ralph • Joseph Draft • Keffals • Noah

v • d • e Trolls

Fantasy enablers	Idea Guys • Teen Troon Squad • Ben Saint • Jacob Sockness • Larry Vaughn

Catfishers (Internet/phone only)	Blanca Weiss • Ivy • Jackie • Jessica Quinn • Julie • Lori Lopez • PandaHalo • Sarah Jackson

Catfishers (met with Chris)	Catherine • Emily • Faeryn • Hanna • Kacey

Trolls (internet-only)	The Asperpedia Four • Bryan Bash • Clyde Cash • Desiree Delightful • Evan • Ignatius J. Reilly • Jack Thaddeus • Jeff Ouzuo • Johan • Liquid Chris • Lordsillynipples • Regina Novakova • Sam and Ellen • Sarah May • Surfshack Tito • Sydney Kirsch • Thetan • Thorg • Vivian Gee

Trolls (internet-only, impersonating celebrities)	BILLY MAYS • Jay Z • Jimmy Hill • Reggie Fils-Aimé • Shigeru Miyamoto • Takashi Tezuka • Vanessa Hudgens

Trolls (met with Chris)	Cousin Al • Joshua Martinez • Kim Wilson • Magical Man • Man in the Pickle Suit • Robert Simmons V

Allies	Jason Kendrick Howell / Kathleen

A-logs	Anthony Logatto • Bella Janke • LadyOfTheCosmo • Michael Hirtes

v • d • e Perceived enemies

Staff	Betty Hoover • CADD Chef • Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops	Bagget • Jerkhief

Manajerks	B-Manajerk • "Lady" Manajerk • Merried Seinor Comic • Michael Snyder • ScotPalazzo • Turdijerk • W-M-Manajerk • Yellow-Shirted Foe

Other	Abusive babysitter • Adam Stackhouse • Bruce Johnson • Mr. Smith • Opuscon789 • Pmurt • Wes Iseli

v • d • e Imaginary/Inanimate

Imaginary friends	Andrew Blaze • Crystal Weston Chandler • Cryzel, Magi-Chan, Mewtwo, and Sylvana • Lainchu • Lovely Weather • Meg Griffin • Reginald Chandler • Val

Inanimate objects	Clown Doll • Kimmi • Naru • Officer Nasty

v • d • e Media personalities

In media	Barack Obama • Britney Spears • DRWolf • Emgo316 • George Bush • ILoveKPALot • Joe Biden • John Tesh • Kamala Harris • My Little Pony voice actresses • Miscellaneous celebrities • Molly the Medium • Nowacking • R.L. Stine • Red Skelton • ProjectSNT • TF2 Analysis • Uri Geller

Cole Smithey

Gallery

Sites featuring Cole's reviews

References

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