Bruce Johnson

Dr. Bruce Johnson was the principal of Chris's elementary school and a homosexual. Bob Chandler hated his guts. Chris claims to have hated sitting on his lap, giving him his homophobia.

The Principle of the Nathanel Greene Elemetary School[sic], Dr. Johnson, was a Homo, and when I was sent to his office; he picked me up, set me on his lap, then I would always get off his lap, because I ALWAYS HATED that; I felt bad vibes back then. Fortunately, it has never gone beyond that, and my father caught his intentions on that, and the Court Battles Started. He likely exagerates[sic], but my father knew that there were a bunch of homos within that school board, and that was why they hated me and my family, in addition to those people not understanding Autism. Anyway, from those past memories, that is why I have grown up to Rarely Associate with men, and why I DESPIE THE HOMOS the Worst.

Debate

Chris claims that this is the event that caused his family to move to another school; however, Bob Chandler revealed to Emily that they threatened to send Chris to an institution which is why they moved.

The validity of this story is questionable.

The most obvious problem is how an openly homosexual man in the conservative fundamentalist South would be able to secure a job as principal of a small town elementary school without being lynched. So what's the likelihood of there being several openly homosexual and lesbian faculty members under the same roof?

Bob, being old fashioned (keyword old), probably still thinks "homosexual" and "pedophile" are interchangeable. How an openly homosexual man would even exist (we're assuming they'd get out of Dodge as fast as possible), let alone survive in the conservative fundamentalist South is an even bigger mystery. Pick the gayest, most faggoty fag you can find on Castro Street and put him in Southern Virginia. He'd be a dead man walking. But we all know how good Chris is at critical thinking. He was on the honor roll.

While yes, intuition is an underappreciated sense that can tell us many things about another person, like whether they are safe or not, autistics aren't as naturally intuitive as normal kids. Chris obviously has no sense of intuition or inkling of body language. So him getting "bad vibes" was just hindsight bias (and probably some help from Bob and Barb manipulating his memory) as he tries to justify himself.

For argument's sake, let's say that there were homos on the school board. What would they have against the Chandlers? Sure, they're Baptists and against homosexuality, but so is everyone else in the area. Why would they single him out of all the other homophobic families? If anything, they'd assume that Chris was too young and stupid to understand complex matters like sexuality and same-sex relationships, and figure that they could enlighten him. They'd want to help him, not expel him for his parents' ignorance. Otherwise, that would look really bad on their part and cause an uproar from the Christian community (read: everyone within a 20 mile radius). The only thing that public school boards can expel kids for expressing (and teachers, for that matter) is outright racism.

His later statements also contradict why he "doesn't like to associate with men". On Mumble, when confronted about how only gays have all female friends (harem animes don't count, they're fiction), he paused, clearly backed into a wall, and whined that he never got the chance to make friends with other guys, despite having plenty of chances throughout his schooling. This is another instance of him trying to justify himself.

Captain Underpants

Years after Chris left Nathanael Greene, Dr. Johnson finally vindicated Chris's claims by showing the entire world what a sick perv he is:

“Principal Bruce Johnson revealed his shockingly silly alter ego to the students of Stanardsville, Virginia's Nathanael Greene Elementary after they improved their standardized test scores. Johnson appeared on the school's roof as Captain Underpants, hero of the popular children's book series. The outfit included a red cape, white undershirt, and large white underpants worn over his clothes. "We'll have to do this every year to get the scores up," Superintendent Ray Dingledine [seriously?] told the Daily Progress. Added Johnson, "They'll laugh at me out here, but when it comes to being in the office, there's no arguing.”

Sounds like the best principal ever, to me. Eh sounds like a pretty cool guy.

See Also

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

References

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