Chandler Cats
| “ | I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more. | ” |
| Chris about molesting his cats | ||
Chris and his family have several cats. Chris regularly slips in their shit. It is not known whether the Chandlers own the cats, or whether the cats just got lost amid the piles of junk and were unable to find their way to the outside world.
Cats
Desi
The first of Chris's cats, Desi is a tabby named after Desi Arnaz (one of two cats named after the stars of I Love Lucy, one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). Among CWCki editors and trolls, Desi was, at first, often mixed up with Scampers.
Not much is known about Desi other than he's fucking huge, like the rest of Chris's family, and has only ever appeared in photographs or in the background of videos. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's future message.
Desi is not house trained and the Chandlers freely let their cat shit all over the kitchen, which Chris on several occasions has slipped on, notably during his AIM chat with Vivian Gee. This lends further credence to the belief (along with Bob's refusal to wash himself and the stench of Chris's Dirty Crapped Briefs) that their family is incredibly unhygienic. Suffice to say, Chris vastly preferred his dog as a pet.
Based on an e-mail with Jackie, Desi is presumed dead or missing in action.[1]
Scamper
Scamper, or Scampers, is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper is a black and white coated cat.
Very little info about her exists, except that, like Desi, she's not house-trained and shits everywhere.
Lucy
Lucy is the third cat of the Chandlers. (Note: Barbara is one of those crazy old women types that keeps lots of cats. On some level she probably sees Chris as an especially large and untidy cat.) Lucy is named after Lucille Ball, the other star of I Love Lucy.
Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with Sarah May, before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).[2]
Skittles
Skittles is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers, approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looks like a half-dead lynx on crack.
Nothing is known of Skittles, but given the name it has it can be assumed that it belongs to the Chandlers as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris, being the fat cunt that he is, probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character).
Based on the Jackie e-mails, s/he is presumed dead or missing in action.[1]
Kitty
Cat number 5, the final cat (or at least the last cat of whom there are photos) of the CWC feline family. Kitty seems to be the cat no one really gives a shit about, evidenced by the fact that it is simply named "Kitty".
Kitty made an appearance in Chris's tour of his house, and starred in the Captain's Log video of 20 December 2009, where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of things that hate Chris. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.
According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of the Chandler Dog.[1]
Sonichu #10 also included a character named Kitty Rosechu, who was supposed to be Chris' take on the Asperchu version of Bubbles.
Gallery
Kitty Chandler, so full of hate
Lucy and Desi
Lucy and Desi asleep in a pile of crap
Desi and Snorlax
Sauces
See also
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