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It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
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| Troll
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| Johan
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| Nickname
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"Johan"
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| Date of Birth
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Unknown
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| Gender
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Male
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| Nationality
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Unknown, possibly English
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| Occupation
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Ex-Gay Porn Star, Sperm Donor
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| “
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You say yo- you say, from your video, you're like an acrobat, but I can do so much better sexually so, we each upload a video... And the person- and, the person that gets more votes from the community on the internet wins!
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”
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| Chris's impression of Johan in a poor English accent
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First referenced by Chris-chan in CWC Responds to a bully named Johan, a former gay porn star who was forced to quit the industry after failing an STD test (which Chris insinuates is AIDS) he was a rival to Chris-chan in his quest to impregnate a lesbian couple.[1]
Johan first met Chris-Chan in a chatroom Chris had joined in order to discuss plans with Sam and Ellen, the Lesbian couple who were considering Chris to father their children. After recognizing Chris-Chan as being the original true and honest creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, he informed this Lesbian couple of some of Chris's mishaps,[2] such as Megan Schroeder and the Cakefarts incident. After reacting as any sensible person would to this info, the Lesbian couple started to reconsider if Chris was a good enough choice as to be the father of their children. Johan quickly took this opportunity to nominate himself as the surrogate father for their new children.[3]
Though it isn't clear who challenged who, by the end of the conversation Chris and Johan had agreed to have a sex-off wherein each would make videos proving their sexual prowess with the person with the most votes getting to impregnate the Lesbian Couple. Chris would go on to call Johan a bully with an STD and therefore, regardless of the videos' content, people should vote for him anyway.[4] Johan has remained completely silent, however.
While Chris's video managed to shock and horrify the internet, Johan's video of him making love to an unnamed Asian slut only proved his sexual performance skills, better body and larger non-bent duck.[5] This showed in the polls, putting Johan at an 16 point lead after almost 7,000 votes.[6]
Because of his ignominious defeat, Chris pulled the video soon after. Johan has yet to be heard of since, it can be assumed Sam and Ellen chose him to be the father of their child over Chris due to the results of the polls.
References
See also
SingStar Challenge
People
| Family
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Immediate
family
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| Pets
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| Other
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| Acquaintances
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| Hobbies
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| Desired acquaintanceships
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Collaborators
(creators Chris promoted)
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Women
(cut ties with Chris)
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| Gal-pals
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| Staff
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| Defense lawyers
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| Prostitutes
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| Trolls
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| Fantasy enablers
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Catfishers
(Internet/phone only)
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Catfishers
(met with Chris)
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Trolls
(internet-only)
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Trolls
(internet-only,
impersonating celebrities)
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| Trolls (met with Chris)
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| Allies
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| A-logs
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| Media personalities
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| In media
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