April 2012 Facebook posts

Status Updates from Chris

Not a Virgin

I am not a virgin anymore.

What?! Explain!!

Now, now, ladies. I don't kiss and tell.

Good Mood

I have been in a good mood a lot lately, because I finally had sex, so I'll divulge a couple of details. I mean, seriously, I literally awake, and the first thing that comes to mind is the occasion. and I am smiling for hours. She was a very nice and sweet early 20s woman: and even better. she's half-cherokee. We've hit it off from the shared characteristic of being good people. and a very delightful and pleasant conversation. We exchanged phone numbers, and we did it in her room. I put together a nice gift basket for her to show my appreciation. Aside from me and she, only one other very trusted friend, who led us to our meeting knows the full story. And in the future, the other person who will learn of it is my Sweetheart-to-be. 0 If ya really wanna know, you'd have to stay with me for a long while and more.

Really Enjoyed my Dick

Oh. I forgot to mention. she Really Enjoyed my dick: it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame: Her Words.

You have rendered me speechless.

Vacation

Hey. Just got back from a vacation in the country (Redoak, VA). The relatives there were busy. but we enjoyed a nice, peaceful time away from the stresses of here. And mama planted fresh flowers at her fathers and Corina's graves in good respect. The church in front of the Weston Family there had a mannequin in front of their cross that Easter Sunday; looked really good like our Lord.

Notes from Chris

An Open Note

Sunday, April 1, 2012 at 11:12pm I want to make something very clear to everyone on the internet. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is my mother. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a Caring, Compassionate, all-around Good Person. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned Coldest Shoulder Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content. The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, Barbara, and outside of this house, I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares, and may God have mercy on your souls. You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.

An Open Note (4/13/2012)

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

Friday, April 13, 2012 at 10:08pm It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place. I do not require any congratulations or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person. And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own self-fabricated theories and fables; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your selfish, demoralizing, incriminating, lonely, hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred, and whatever mental and emotional issues you each likely suffer from. You Trolls, Get A Life. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler 4/13/2012

to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu

Monday April 16, 2012 at 4:21am Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and thinking you all are better than me. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously laugh at people with a disability, and their mistakes, because the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll. I am in your dreams, haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, jealosies and lackluster purposes against me and my family and friends. You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the once innocent good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries. HA HA HA. **This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.

Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45 In my humble opinion, I actually like Derpy for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from an episode of "South Park"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny. Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, VA, USA, respect and like Derpy, and I encourage Lauren Faust, Amy Keating Rogers, and the rest of the MLP:FIM crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance. Christian Weston Chandler. April 25, 2012 MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps www.youtube.com UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ... http://www.savederpy.com

Chris later commented:

And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on the Hub on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.

I have decided

Thursday, 26 April 2012 at 19:35 The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. I Welcome All. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler April 25, 2012

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. (EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus) I Welcome All. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler April 25, 2012

Chris later commented:

I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.

Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D

On 28 April 2012, Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he let the trolls get to him in the mall, resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue idle death threats to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO Fallible, Gullible, Paranoia-Prone, Clownish, At the Bottom of the Heap, Stupid FOOLS. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your comically inept and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his small-sausage name. All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and mistaken "facts". You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, Abuse, or anything of Malcontent, I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER. In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more INTELLIGENT, WISE and KNOWLEDGEABLE than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND. I am WATCHING each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and REST-ASSURED, I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All! YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler 4/28/2012 **More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps".

I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas

Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41 And to quell one question. "JenkinsJinkies" "camp story"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to convince y'all to believe originated from Peter Griffin's Parrot; the episode Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". PUNK'D!!!