The Wallflower

Ongoing The things described in this article are still happening, or are still being looked into. As a result, it may be subject to frequent change, and the information provided may not be entirely reliable.

"The Wallflower" is the first sweetheart Chris has ever had that was not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of trolling. As of 10 March 2010, the trolls may have added her to the long list of sweethearts that they have ruined for him.

References by Chris

Exactly when Chris first met her is unknown. While he jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with earlier sweethearts to the world, he has only made oblique, passing references to her. (Also, less information has been forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because all available evidence suggests she is not, in fact, a troll.)

Chris may have been in contact with her as early as January 2010, however, if the person he was expecting a phone call from in Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3 was in fact her. This assumption is supported by Mailbag 46, answered on 26 January 2010, where Chris claims to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers."

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the CWC Blog, Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in Mailbag 56 challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

In Sonichu 10, Chris meets up and has sex with his future wife, Lovely Weather in a page that was uploaded 22 December 2009. As it was considered unusual for Chris to write about an entirely fictional sweetheart, it's possible that Lovely Weather could be based on this person.

Breakup?

How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.

When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll sweetheart, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a racist, sexist, homophobic, lazy, unhygienic, narcissistic, hypocritical, naive, and overall creepy manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released A message to the Trolls. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vagaries about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. Either Bob is dead, or he broke up with this girl. Judging from the post on the right, the latter is probably true.

In a recent Captain's Log on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

On the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released a second video, mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and a troll, making it seem that the reason why Chris loss The Wallflower was because of Clyde Cash.

    People