Joshua Martinez

Josh being the badass Chris thinks he is

“	Josh can't stand him, but Chris is always trying to hang out with him. I think Josh is the ONE man his age that he can stand being around.	”
PodMonkey

Joshua Martinez carpooled with Christian Weston Chandler when they attended James Madison University for speech therapy as children. Joshua's attendance was required due to his thick Spanish accent.

Years later, apparently, after Chris finished high school and returned to Ruckersville, he and Joshua remained friends. The two took to hanging out after school in Harrisonburg, a town several miles northwest of Charlottesville, where they would eat at a restaurant called Country Cookin and loiter around an abandoned airplane. While Josh has moved on, Chris never really got over his habit of hanging around and making a nuisance of himself.

First troll

oh noes!

Joshua was the first troll to masquerade as a boyfriend-free girl in order to fuck with Chris. In the fall of 2007, he pretended to hook Chris up with a girl named Lori Lopez, chatting with Chris as her and sending him pictures. These images were actually pictures of Vanessa Hudgens. The truly hilarious part of this is that Joshua closed communication as her by confiding to Chris that "she" actually loved Josh. Eventually Chris discovered that he was trolled, and (as he does about every humiliation inflicted upon him) wrote about it in his comic.

Chris counterattacks

After Chris discovered he had become a lolcow, he tried diverting the attention from himself to Joshua with gems like the following edit to his ED page.

“	--- Look, pal, if you REALLY WANT to TAKE DOWN someone who HAS a REPUTATION, consider one JOSHUA MARTINEZ. Ladies come a runnin' from at least as far as New York City to his house in Dyke, VA; not just any ladies, but STARS like Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson and plenty other whores. He also has been Piggy-Backing on the Stardom of Vanessa Hudgens; singing with her in her Latino Albums, and starring with her in various HBO movies, and even worse, TRANSFORMERS 2. He has her and some other gal named Brittany for BOTH HIS SIMULTANEOUS GIRLFRIENDS; DUAL Marriage in the works here. He's a more LUCKY S.O.B. than I can ever surmount to. RUIN HIS REPUTATION. Joshua Martinez. PS YOU DID NOT HEAR THIS WHOLE THING FROM ME.	”
Chris thanking Josh for saving him $22.49 for a Nintendo Wii

Second troll

In early 2009, Josh served as a sort of Eastern Front for the trolling war on Chris, as he impersonated pop star Vanessa Hudgens of "High School Musical" fame.

The trolling culminated in Josh attempting to sell a special PSP to Chris intended for "Vanessa." He was foiled when trolls suspected that Josh was doing so for personal gain, and not simply for the lulz. Josh isn't exactly too bright either — see the Vanessa Saga chats for ample evidence of his limited imagination and clumsy attempts to manipulate Chris — and Chris's dalliances with Vanessa were also interfering with the success of Ivy.

Josh's involvement ended and Chris canceled the check for the PSP according to Ivy's instructions, yet Chris refused to return it because "Vanessa would be upset." It was a knock-down, drag-out case of retard vs. retard.

Josh has since stopped talking to Chris.

Josh's whereabouts are unknown. He presumably lives in Virginia, judging by the license plate on his car, but this is unconfirmed and might require more careful examination.

Not a ninja

From PodMonkey:

Josh claims to hold a black belt in martial arts, but he is certainly not a ninja. On 14 June 2009, Joshua Martinez was coming away from Charlottesville Fashion Square, when PodMonkey drove past him with his wife on their way out. So Josh, being inconspicuous as ever, turned his music up and tailed him to PodMonkey's destination, in the Woodbrook Shopping Center down the street. Thinking that he was being stealthy, Josh parked right behind PodMonkey and waited for him to come out. After 5 minutes, impatience sank in and he left, but not before causing a lulzy scene for those in the know. It is speculated that he was keeping tabs on PodMonkey for his friends in the FBI.

See also

• Vanessa Saga

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