August 2015 Facebook Posts
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Ongoing
The things described in this article are still happening, or are still being looked into. As a result, it may be subject to frequent change, and the information provided may not be entirely reliable.
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Chris's recent failings have helped CWCki gather more information for this article. Be a winner by adding this information in.
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This page covers Chris's activity on his personal Facebook page in August 2015.
Summary
Chris's Posts
Much More Medallions
| 1 August 2015
Alright Everyone: Twenty More Medallions Listed and Available at the usual flat $30 (25 + 5) each! Ship default medals as early as Monday, August 3rd; Custom Orders accepted and take less than two weeks to make. Thank you for your patronage. |
William Elliott Waterman wrote:
| I thought you sold the last one already. |
Chris replied:
| That listing was put up over two weeks ago, and those medals were made before then. |
I'm On The Edge Of My Seat
| 11 August 2015
A New Sonichu enters the distribution set! Find out who Wednesday or Thurday of this week! |
Please Take Care Of Barb So I Can Go Out And Have Sex With Hot Lesbians
| 11 August 2015
Also, check out this One-of-a-kind #JCS personal postcard to our mother from his #ColeBlooded band days in 1994! Brother, please come back and let your family meet Your Family. #Joseph #Cole #Smithey #JosephColeSmithey #ColeSmithey #MovieReview #Brian #Vouglas #BrianVouglas #Graham #Parker #GrahamParker http://www.colesmithey.com |
Cole's postcard, postmarked 9 July 1994, is addressed only to "Barbara" at "46 Branchland Ct.," which is not the actual address of Chris's home. It reads:
| A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS BUT I'M WORTH A MILLION IN PRIZES. HOPE ALL IS WELL...
I'LL BE DOIN' 21 SONGS LOVE & KISSES Cole |
Introducing the Blake Amiibo
| 12 August 2015
New! Blake Sonichu Amiibo Figures available This Month in limited quantity! Ten are Available for swift shipment Worldwide! Also, Two Medallions are still available on the other listing (see earlier post below). |
A fan asked:
| What are they made out of? |
Chris replied:
| Same materials as the Sonichu Amiibo: plastic, model magic, acrylic paints, krazy glue; the difference is the Character, And the chip in the base is different too. |
Later that day Chris edited this post to include:
| Let me remind everyone what makes Blake not only Cool, but one of the good Bad People Gone Good. Scroll downward and read three of my books that feature him at a worst then at his better. |
He then shared the albums of Sonichu issues 1, 3 and 8. Sonichu issues 0-8 had been available to read on Facebook since 2013, but he took this opportunity to draw attention to them.
Wearing His Anxieties On His Sleeve
"Lizzy the Lezzy," one of Chris's favorite Facebook people, posted an image with the comment, "ha!"
Chris didn't get it:
| 12 August 2015
I am a lesbian transwoman; I feel offended and confused by the quote in the image. |
Chris is a Pegasister...Or Is He?
The page "Derpy Hooves and Friends - Friendship is Muffins" posted the following:
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Lets see who wins! -Button Mash |
In other words, like if you're a girl, comment if you're a boy. In a perfect symbolization of his gender confusion, Chris commented:
| 14 August 2015
I am a damn proud Pegasister! Finally! A word for us actual Woman and Girl Fans of MLP! Bronies can bow down to us, the Pegasisters! |
Understandably, someone replied:
| Then why did you comment? |
Tantalizing Incentives
Three days after the issue, not a single Blake Amiibo had sold.
| 15 August 2015
Bonus: All of the Blake Sonichu Amiibo Figures have been leveled up to 50, and each have a random assortment of items and money for Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS! And, this time around, with each purchase, I will include an autographed photo of myself (the one in my Facebook Profile photo without the rainbow filter! So, Buy Today, because of Blake, there will Only, Officially, until a much later date, be this Limited Number of figures available for purchase! Do Not Miss Out! |
Refusing To Face Reality
Chris only sold two of the Blake Amiibo in the allotted week, so he was forced to relist.
| 19 August 2015
Hey! Eight Blake Sonichu figures left! Come on up and buy one for yourself today. Maximum Smash Bros Level; maximum random items on them. Will include Autographed Photo of myself with each one (my profile photo without the rainbow filter). Figure of an anti-hero, and villain turned good! Collect all of the personally made and certified Figures to make a complete Sonichu Main Cast Set in months to come, counting this one! |
Good Blood
Chris linked to a sorority recruitment video and wrote:
| 22 August 2015
Hey! New Freshman, and to-be Grads! Be sure to study very good in your semesters at College, High School and all the other schools! But Be Sure To Make a LOT of Friends, Face-to-Face. And if you're going to bully, or online-Hate ANYONE; Do Not Do It! Friendships and Good Blood last Longer and Better than Rivalries and Bad Blood! Be Friendly, Supportive, and KIND to Everyone! Have a Great and Safe Year! |
Still Trying to Drum Up Amiibo Sales
Chris provided a link to a video entitled, "Sonic The Hedgehog Amiibo Confirmed for Super Mario Maker! (Wii U)," and wrote:
| 22 August 2015
Another Darn Good Reason to COLLECT the Sonichu and Rosechu Amiibo Set, and individual figures therein: they ALL will be compatible with LBP-Style Super Mario Maker! Awesome! |
Chris is a Lipstick Lesbian
Chris proudly and fallaciously announces his status as a "lipstick lesbian":
| 22 August 2015
I am a Wild and Exotic Lipstick Lesbian!!! |
This claim initiated a testy dialogue with his friend Kim:
| Christine Weston Chandler Oh no, you're not a lipstick lesbian. |
Chris responded with autistic tersness:
| I Am. |
Kim countered:
| Christine Weston Chandler Nah, technically speaking, you're not even close.
You're more of a more run-of-the-mill lesbian. I think you might be a little under educated on your lesbian types. |
Kim then provided a link to the Wikipedia article for Lipstick lesbian and added:
| Not that you're not a lesbian. But you're really miscategorizing yourself. |
Chris:
| No, I have actually looked up the definitions of types of lesbians. I dress femininely, and I prefer to do so very much. And I wear makeup. |
Kim countered again, this time rather bluntly:
| Nah, it's not about how you dress. It's how you pass. |
| Which you don't. |
Chris, having been beaten, characteristically ignores her argument and responds with a gag order:
| Also, Kim Wilson, yeah, you are crossing lines and raining on my parade; Shut Up. |
Kim, however, has the last laugh:
| :(
Christine Weston Chandler You're basically putting up really sketchy billboards and asking no one to comment at them. If you'd like, I can tell you when you should take down posts ahead of time. Does that work? :) |
Still Pushing the Blake Amiibo
| 23 August 2015
Six Blake Sonichu Figures Left! Buy Now before they're Gone to make room for next month's limited-number character! Once the next character goes up, Blake will not return for a Long Time! |
Miley Cirus
"Lizzy the Lezzy" posted images of a transgender child. Chris commented:
| 23 August 2015
(S)he reminds me of Miley Cirus with tht haircut. |
No More Ms. Nice Guy
| 24 August 2015
Attention. On the remaining six Blake Sonichu Amiibo figures, I will now include one Sonichu medallion per figure free with purchase. this offer applies for right now and into the third and final relist later this week. Do not, I repeat, do not expect me to be this nice on any of the remaining characters in any of the coming months. |
One of Chris's gal-pals was critical:
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Well, that's nice of you to do that for your fans - but I'd probably remove the second paragraph. It kinda makes you come of poorly to potential customers. Saying you "won't be nice again" sort of kills the "genuine" spirit of the offer and sort of sounds desperate. |
Consequently, Chris changed the second paragraph to read:
| I forgot to mention, I have to make the six medals, so it won't be until Friday the 28th at the latest when I will be most able to ship them out. But please, do Guarantee your Blake Sonichu Amiibo and Sonichu Medallion Bundles for before Friday Shipment NOW. |
Chris's friend responded:
| Better |