Template:DYK

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This template sits pride of place on the CWCki Main Page. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.

• Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
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• To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
• Start your entry on a new line, starting with *...that and then your fact.
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Here is the whole thing in action:

ExpandGroup 1

...that this website, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL? ...that Chris got married... to four of his imaginary friends? ...that God and Jesus told Chris that Blanca was to be his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart? ...that a Forgiveness Blessing can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack? ...that Uri Geller, a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training? ...that Chris is capable of taking care of himself? ...that Chris once attended a Relationship Management Class intended for couples? ...that Bob wanted Chris to shut that goddamn thing off? ...that Chris is working on it!? ...that Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16? ...that Chris has performed oral sex on Magi-Chan? ...that JenkinsJinkies is definitely NOT Chris? ...that Chris was no longer stuck as a virgin with rage after hiring a prostitute? ...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with Tiffany Gowen at their high school reunion? ...that Chris has committed assault and battery against Michael Snyder and illegally pepper sprayed the Yellow-Shirted Foe? ...that Chris got fired from Wendy's for scaring a small child with his Donald Duck impersonation? ...that Chris attempted to fix The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail, and somehow made it make less sense? ...that Chris BILLY MAYS Allison Amber Brendan Fraser Mary Lee Walsh is the Mayor of CWCville? ...that the Idea Guys brainwashed Chris into believing that his imaginary daughter Crystal would be brought into the world by Chris anally raping Sonichu? ...that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for blood, tears and semenal descent?

ExpandGroup 2

...that the Dimensional Merge will bring fictional characters and imaginary friends into reality? ...that the new dimension will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197? ...that Chris is as wild as a serial raper? ...that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story? ...that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll? ...that the trolls may have hired a skywriter? ...that Chris believes that CWCville is real? ...that Chris, in his own words, buys "healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?" ...that Chris once tried to get a MLP fandom voice actor to unblock him on Twitter by gifting a toy and a drawing? ...that Chris can put his energy into crystals and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process? ...that Chris believes that Who Framed Roger Rabbit is an accurate depiction of reality? ...that in the days before Astral projection, a dance mat in his room was one way to reach CWCville? ...that Chris’s dance partner in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend? ...that Chris’s investment strategy is to stake $8 on the lottery every week? ...that Equestria Girls is ranked #2 in Chris's Top Movies List on Facebook? ...that Chris once had a strong disdain for the Harry Potter franchise due to a perceived rivalry with the Pokémon franchise? ...that Chris believes that Lisa Simpson will be the President of the United States after the Dimensional Merge? ...that Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election, despite endorsing Joe Biden to take over the Presidency after Donald Trump? ...that That Goatee WILL Grow Back, even though Chris now identifies as transgender and isn't actively growing facial hair? ...that Chris spends a lot of time in his bedroom, in spite of a traumatic experience with a babysitter locking him in there?

ExpandGroup 3

...that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to cancel a My Little Pony reboot because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it? ...that Chris really cannot dance? ...that Chris recycles his own semen by drinking it? ...that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste? ...that Chris mixed semen with Fanta? ...that Chris wishes you a hoppy Easter? ...that in the Tour of Christian's House, Chris called his family a bunch of pack rats? ...that Chris has said Niggos only once, but has used the actual N-word multiple times? ...that Chris has been recording himself freaking out on camera as early as 10th grade? ...that Chris stuck anal beads up his asshole but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit? ...that you should believe in the OCs? ...that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed Sonichu named Bundychu? ...and that Bundychu is friends with Bob Chandler? ...that despite being the so-called CPU of the Commodore systems, Chris doesn't know how to turn a Commodore 64 on? ...that Chris stuck his duck in some snow? ...that Clyde is Weaker than Water? ...that Alec Benson Leary imprisoned four Rosechus in his basement? ...that Chris drove Ryan Cash to suicide when he temporarily cancelled Sonichu? ...that Sonichu has his own amiibo? ...that Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke?

ExpandGroup 4

...that A-Log is Chris-Chan 2.0? ...that Michael J. Hirtes is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)? ...that Chris went to a a gay bar on a few occasions? ...that the American government pays Chris $27 every single day to sit around the house doing little to nothing? ...that Chris doesn't have a caretaker, despite how badly he needs one? ...that Chris reinterpreted one of his characters when he believed that she had taken the form of his newest sweetheart? ...that Chris believed he cured his autism by listening to Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis? ...that Chris joined DeviantART to get in touch with choice Fan Artists? ...that Chris believes he has over a billion people in his True and Loyal Fanbase? ...that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that homos "can go die in explosions"? ...that Chris went to school on the short bus? ...that Chris chatted on AIM with Vanessa Hudgens? ...that Chris is a stressed homeboy imprisoned in lulz? ...that Chris told Barbara about his masturbation, but Bob was not as open minded on the subject? ...that Chris slashed his taint open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt? ...that Chris used to sleep in class (and had no shame about it)? ...that the pickle man tricked Chris again? ...that Chris considers the "romance" in his comics as his best art? ...that Chris describes World War II as "a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"? ...that Chris's 23andMe DNA results indicate that he has no Cherokee ancestry, but is 1.3% Italian?

ExpandGroup 5

...that Chris cannot do a single pull-up or push-up? ...that Chris once knew a man from Nantucket? ...that on his MySpace, Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"? ...that Chris is the Level-Up King? ...that Virginia is for Virgins? ...that Bob believed Megan Schroeder, Michael Snyder and some homos are behind all the trolling? ...and that Chris believed it too? ...that Chris has been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for his whole life? ...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes? ...that Chris thinks you're "trolling stupid"? ...that Chris once visited an abandoned sanatorium to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a ween mere hours later? ...that Chris tried starting a career as a male prostitute? ...that Chris tried starting a career as a female prostitute? ...that Chris thinks that those with Asperger's try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people? ...that farting is OK, and actually helps cure cancer? ...that Chris once said Pain is a fun game, despite having no trophies for it on PSN? ...that Chris once had a prostitute hang up on him? ...that Chris hates the word "Aspergers" almost as much as the word "Naïve"? ...that Chris has no idea what Naïve actually means? ...that Bryan Bash sent a handful of hookers to Chris' house?

ExpandGroup 6

...that wooden badges are delicious? ...that Chris loves McDonald's, while his dad preferred Burger King? ...that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"? ...that his Spanish name is Ricardo? ...and that his legal name is now Christine? ...that the Long Island Iced Tea is the official cocktail of /cow/? ...that Ivy was real? ...that Chris really likes Britney Spears (no matter what they all say)? ...that his favorite song from "Air Britney" is "E-Mail My Heart"? ...that a male idiot tried to put out a fire while Chris just stood there and watched? ...that Liquid Chris's real name is CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!? ...that Solid Chris's name is not Ian Brandon Anderson? ...that Jerkops are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"? ...that the Saw movies are some of Chris's favorite movies? ...that Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church is a church for all of God and Jesus's children, regardless of age, race, gender, socio-economic situation, or sexual orientation? ...that Bob Chandler helped host the WTJU Marathon back in 1990? ...that Chris's duck is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent? ...that Chris's Donald Duck impersonation is the most terrifying thing in existence? ...that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are a doctor and a film reviewer; and his half-sister is a mathematician? ...that Sonichu has his own animated series?

ExpandGroup 7

...that Evan killed Mommy? ...that Chris can handle getting fake numbers from girls because of Seinfeld? ...that Chris originally was a marketing major (which he picked at random) before picking CADD when he enrolled at PVCC? ...that he didn't know what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate? ...that Slaweel the Witch isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet? ...that Chris actually copyrighted Sonichu? ...that Chris should have changed the oil in his car in April 2009, but still hasn't done it? ...that Yawning Squirtle sells the best weed in CWCville? ...that Chris had a conversation with Sonichu while in a meeting with Mary Lee Walsh? ...that Chris fired a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Walsh in the same meeting? ...that this incident is what got him suspended from Piedmont Virginia Community College? ...that Chris insulted a mentally disabled fan? ...that for Christmas 2004, Chris asked Santa for a girlfriend? ...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one? ...that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eating pancakes instead of attending his Aunt Corrina's funeral the same day? ...that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of Anne Boleyn, Queen of England? ...that Chris and Jacob Sockness aren't dating... yet? ...that Chris believes that butt plugs are linked with spontaneous human combustion? ...that Blanca was real? ...that Chris attempted to dox multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?

ExpandGroup 8

...that Barbara Chandler won the Mother of the Year 2000 award? ...that Chris has dreamed about having sex with his mom? ...that Chris has been charged with having sex with his mom? ...that Chris believes if My Little Pony G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, Akan will invade Equestria and eventually our own universe? ...that Barb sings while vacuuming? ...that Chris throws rocks at women to attract them? ...that even now, Chris does not think he is fat? ...that Sarah Jackson, Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by Optimus Prime? ...that Chris loves to give dating advice to high schoolers in spite of never having been on a real date as a teenager or an adult? ...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his sweetheart amid a watery maze? ...that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams? ...that Chris recorded himself screaming at a toilet? ...that Chris has a fourth love doll, Yumi? ...that Chris claims to weigh 216 pounds? ...that Sega knows about Chris's attempts to change Sonic's arms back? ...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a second album? ...that Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls serves as the spiritual successor to that band? ...that Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps is another spiritual successor to that band? ...that Chris used to be a massive Homophobe? ...that Chris is now a proud member of the SLGBTQ community?

ExpandGroup 9

...that Chris is a fan of OneyPlays, and was amused by their impersonation of him? ...that Chris spent nearly an entire year of his life pretending to be possessed by Sonichu? ...that Ivy got Chris to watch The End of Evangelion? ...that Chris has used a ruler to measure his duck, but never once in his comic? ...that Chris purged all the comments from his Flipnotes, except a poem from a random girl which praised him? ...that he never wants to hear you say, "I have a boyfriend"? ...that Kick the Autistic is America's favorite game? ...that Chris got tricked into making a shout-out video dedicated to the Columbine shooters? ...that Brütal Legend rocks? ...that Chris completed a commission tied to the Sneed's Feed and Seed joke from The Simpsons? ...that CWCville is pronounced as "quick-ville"? ...that Chris believes that lolcow and spree killer Andrew Blaze/Randy Stair was aware of the Dimensional Merge? ...that Sonichu makes a cameo in a dodie music video? ...that Guitar Hero is Chris's source for new music? ...that Chris reenacted CopperCab's Gingers have Souls video? ...that Chris punched multiple holes in his wall to try to break through the Iron Curtain? ...that the brony convention Everfree Northwest banned Chris after learning that he banged his own mom? ...that Chris has no idea what Autism really is? ...that infamous lolcow Ethan Ralph caught Chris's arrest on a livestream just to spite his former friend Null? ...that Chris was featured on Fox News as a means to criticize transgender people?