Michael Hirtes

"Totem Sanic" redirects here. For the Relic of Fail, see Sonic Totem.

“	Everyone has an animal inside them struggling to be free. Don't be afraid to let him out! Yiff!	”
Hirtes to a newspaper reporter

Michael Hirtes
File:Hirtes.png
Information
Name	Michael Jay Hirtes
Also known as	MHirtes Slep Totem Sanic Various others
Date of Birth	16 April 1964 (age 60)
Gender	Male
Nationality	American
Race	White
Occupations	A-Log Ween

Michael Jay "Mike" Hirtes is a 53-year-old man from Council Bluffs, Iowa who has made a name for himself as both an A-Log and a ween. Hirtes, also known as Kiwi Farms member Totem Sanic, has created a multitude of Twitter accounts to follow Chris and spam him, as well as anyone he tweets to, with angry rants and accusations against him. Most of his rants against Chris consist of trite Chris memes and ad hominem attacks. Unlike the vast majority of A-Logs, including LoGatto himself, Hirtes's socks have actually been responded to by Chris, albeit rarely.

Hirtes was first discovered as a halal member of the Kiwi Farms, where he was outed as the operator of the Twitter account @RektByLife (since deleted), perhaps the most dedicated ween account following Chris at the time. Subsequent developments revealed that not only is Hirtes both older and more immature than Chris, but also that he, too, is unemployed, a furry, prone to tard rage, and has gotten into trouble with the law.

Discovery

Many observers of Chris will have noted the presence of ween accounts in his Twitter replies for some time. However, much attention was not given to these accounts until Michael Hirtes was discovered on the Kiwi Farms.

Hirtes was first called out when Farms member yawning sneasel linked his Kiwi Farms account, Totem Sanic, to his @RektByLife (DaThingsIveSeen) Twitter account based on screencaps he had posted, which showed that he had the same Twitter profile picture as the one @RektByLife used. He was further incriminated when a post by him on the forums surfaced, where he praises DaThingsIveSeen for "doing GodBear's work". Furthermore, on the CWCki Club forums, user Hurtful Truth Level revealed that Totem Sanic had asked for credit mention for a tweet by his @EAT_SHITT_CHRIS (GIGANTIC_STRAW) account that Chris had replied to.

Hirtes subsequently complained about being banned in a forum post, which eventually culminated in his revelation as a gigantic laughing stock. In response to backlash, Hirtes posted a series of angry rants against Kiwi Farms administrator Null and the forum in general on Twitter.

• 

  The incriminating pieces of evidence.

• 

  Another screencap by Hirtes showing his @RektByLife display picture.

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  Hirtes asks for "credit mention" in response to a screencap of Chris's reply to his sock's tweet.

As a result, Hirtes now has his very own thread on the Kiwi Farms.

Twitter sockpuppets

On Twitter, both before and after he was discovered by the Kiwi Farms, Hirtes has used numerous sockpuppet accounts to reply to Chris's tweets. Most of these replies are cookie-cutter rants chastising Chris for behavior that he, too, has been shown to have exhibited, usually through the use of worn-out Chris memes and ad hominem attacks. When he is not autistically screeching at Chris, Hirtes is often found angrily tweeting at Donald Trump. His tweets are characterized by his usual writing style, along with a tendency to capitalize certain words (in contrast with Chris's style of only capitalizing the first letters of these words).

Hirtes sometimes uses other socks in order to reply to or like a tweet posted by one of his accounts. This is reminiscent of how Chris does the same thing with his NightStar2891 account.

List of sockpuppets

PROTIP: Not all weens are Hirtes. Just because they get angry over Chris on Twitter doesn't mean they should be included here.

{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%"

| style="padding: 10px;"| @RektByLife ! style="padding: 5px;"| Dathingsiveseen | Hirtes's most well-known sock, and the one he primarily operated on prior to his discovery. Created sometime before 16 September 2016. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Get_a_job_Chris ! style="padding: 5px;" | Chris is A MALE | Created on 29 March 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @GamestopJerkop ! style="padding: 5px;" | Clyde Cash | Created on 14 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Ghost_bob_BoOoO ! style="padding: 5px;" | Ghost Bob | Created on 18 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @shecameforcwc ! style="padding: 5px;" | shecameforCWC | Created on 21 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @JULAYYYYYYYYYYY ! style="padding: 5px;" | Eviction Notice | Created on 21 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Nut_ward_nurse ! style="padding: 5px;" | Pickle Man | Created on 21 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @CWC_Is_Ugly ! style="padding: 5px;" | Lord_Hater | Created on 29 April 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @LiquidClyde ! style="padding: 5px;" | Clyde Cash | Created on 1 May 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @BRRAAAAINSSSSSS ! style="padding: 5px;" | Zombie_Bob | Created on 17 May 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @CHRIS_IS_MALE ! style="padding: 5px;" | Reality | Created on 24 May 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @TROLLING_SUPER ! style="padding: 5px;" | TROLLING SUPER | Created on 4 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Brute_male_CWC ! style="padding: 5px;" | CWCs_Cumsicles | Created on 5 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @CWC_IS_A_PEDO ! style="padding: 5px;" | Left_Side_Hater | Created on 12 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @FUKK_U_CHRIS ! style="padding: 5px;" | CWC_IS_MALE | Created on 13 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @EAT_SHITT_CHRIS ! style="padding: 5px;" | GIGANTIC STRAW | Created on 13 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @CWC_IS_MALE ! style="padding: 5px;" | CHRIS_IS_A_FAT_MALE | Created on 24 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @STINKO_MANBABY ! style="padding: 5px;" | CHRIS_CANT_STOP_ME | Created on 27 June 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @PICKLE_RIIIIIICK ! style="padding: 5px;" | PICKLE_RICK | Created on 15 July 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @FLIPPINGUDABIRD ! style="padding: 5px;" | BIRD_IS_THE_WORD | Created on 19 July 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @DangDirtyTroll ! style="padding: 5px;" | ItsDahKrumpas | Created on 19 July 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @YYAH_YYAH_YYAH ! style="padding: 5px;" | Dr_Hans_Asperger | Created on 20 July 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Nannas_4_Barb ! style="padding: 5px;" | FOR_THE_HOARD | Created on 2 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Bluearmsohno ! style="padding: 5px;" | MUGSHOT | Created on 4 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @PICKLE_LICKER ! style="padding: 5px;" | DISASTERCHU | Created on 5 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @He_Wont_Get_Any ! style="padding: 5px;" | CHRIS_WANTS_LUV | Created on 5 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @PISSANDBURN ! style="padding: 5px;" | Karate_Cole | Created on 13 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @ItsThisAsshole ! style="padding: 5px;" | MisterBungle | Created on 16 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @MarinerSentMe ! style="padding: 5px;" | RepoMan | Created on 17 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @MANBABY_TANTRUM ! style="padding: 5px;" | CHRIS_IS_MAAAAD | Created on 28 August 2017. |- | style="padding: 10px;"| @Aspergercorn ! style="padding: 5px;" | DILDO_ON_FOREHEAD | Created on 30 August 2017. |}

Gallery

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  Hirtes makes an appearance in the local news. "Yiff! Yiff! That's what foxes say."

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  An example of Hirtes's work.

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  Hirtes and the Law.

External links

• Hirtes's page on WikiFur

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