Michael Hirtes

"Totem Sanic" redirects here. For the Relic of Fail, see Sonic Totem.

“	Everyone has an animal inside them struggling to be free. Don't be afraid to let him out! Yiff!	”
Hirtes to a newspaper reporter

Michael Hirtes
Information
Name	Michael Jay Hirtes
Also known as	mhirtes Totem Sanic Various others
Gender	Male
Nationality	American
Race	White
Occupations	A-Log Ween

Michael Jay Hirtes is a 53-year-old man from Council Bluffs, Iowa who has made a name for himself as both an A-Log and a ween. Hirtes, also known as Kiwi Farms member Totem Sanic, has created a multitude of Twitter accounts to follow Chris and spam him, as well as anyone he tweets to, with angry rants and accusations against him. Most of his rants against Chris consist of trite Chris memes and ad hominem attacks. Unlike the vast majority of A-Logs, including LoGatto himself, Hirtes's socks have actually been responded to by Chris, albeit rarely.

Hirtes was first discovered as a halal member of the Kiwi Farms, where he was outed as the operator of the Twitter account @RektByLife (since deleted), perhaps the most dedicated ween account following Chris at the time. Subsequent developments revealed that not only was Hirtes both older and more immature than Chris, he, too, was unemployed, a furry, prone to tard rage, and has gotten into trouble with the law.

Discovery

A sample of Hirtes's work.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Cras ut facilisis elit. Donec egestas tempor erat in dignissim. Cras est orci, tristique eget ipsum et, cursus varius urna. Quisque in aliquet turpis. Fusce ultricies convallis faucibus. Mauris a mi nulla. Proin luctus magna nunc, nec posuere ante faucibus non. Sed diam purus, luctus nec lorem nec, viverra cursus metus. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Proin tincidunt eros vel mi rutrum feugiat. Sed ultrices ultrices eleifend. Sed eget enim tellus. In luctus, ante et sodales finibus, urna enim pharetra ligula, at consequat ex orci et nisl. Donec ac massa est. Sed suscipit augue sed nisl pretium accumsan. Etiam lectus ex, mollis in augue vel, porta finibus elit.

Twitter sockpuppets

On Twitter, both before and after he was discovered by the Kiwi Farms, Hirtes has used numerous sockpuppet accounts to reply to Chris's tweets. Most of these replies are cookie-cutter rants chastising Chris for behavior that he, too, has been shown to have exhibited, usually through the use of worn out Chris memes and ad hominem attacks. When he is not autistically screeching at Chris, Hirtes is often found angrily tweeting at Donald Trump. His tweets are characterized by his usual writing style, along with a tendency to capitalize certain words (in contrast with Chris's style of only capitalizing the first letters of these words).

Below is a non-exhaustive list of Hirtes's socks:

@RektByLife	Dathingsiveseen	Hirtes's most well-known sock, and the one he primarily operated on prior to his discovery. Created sometime before 16 September 2016.
@S_kank_Hunt42	SkankHuntFortyTwo	Created on 15 November 2016.
@Get_a_job_Chris	Chris is A MALE	Created on 29 March 2017.
@GamestopJerkop	Clyde Cash	Created on 14 April 2017.
@Ghost_bob_BoOoO	Ghost Bob	Created on 18 April 2017.
@shecameforcwc	shecameforCWC	Created on 21 April 2017.
@JULAYYYYYYYYYYY	Eviction Notice	Created on 21 April 2017.
@Nut_ward_nurse	Pickle Man	Created on 21 April 2017.
@CWC_Is_Ugly	Lord_Hater	Created on 29 April 2017.
@LiquidClyde	Clyde Cash	Created on 1 May 2017.
@CWCSonichu82	Christine Chandler	Created on 2 May 2017.
@BRRAAAAINSSSSSS	Zombie_Bob	Created on 17 May 2017.
@CHRIS_IS_MALE	Reality	Created on 24 May 2017.
@TROLLING_SUPER	TROLLING SUPER	Created on 4 June 2017.
@Brute_male_CWC	CWCs_Cumsicles	Created on 5 June 2017.
@CWC_IS_A_PEDO	Left_Side_Hater	Created on 12 June 2017.
@FUKK_U_CHRIS	CWC_IS_MALE	Created on 13 June 2017.
@EAT_SHITT_CHRIS	GIGANTIC STRAW	Created on 13 June 2017.
@CWC_IS_MALE	CHRIS_IS_A_FAT_MALE	Created on 24 June 2017.
@STINKO_MANBABY	CHRIS_CANT_STOP_ME	Created on 27 June 2017.
@PICKLE_RIIIIIICK	PICKLE_RICK	Created on 15 July 2017.
@FLIPPINGUDABIRD	BIRD_IS_THE_WORD	Created on 19 July 2017.
@DangDirtyTroll	ItsDahKrumpas	Created on 19 July 2017.
@YYAH_YYAH_YYAH	Dr_Hans_Asperger	Created on 20 July 2017.
@Nannas_4_Barb	FOR_THE_HOARD	Created on 2 August 2017.
@Bluearmsohno	MUGSHOT	Created on 4 August 2017.
@PICKLE_LICKER	DISASTERCHU	Created on 5 August 2017.
@He_Wont_Get_Any	CHRIS_WANTS_LUV	Created on 5 August 2017.

External links

• Hirtes's page on WikiFur

    People