Difference between revisions of "List of Sonichu characters"
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===Golem=== | ===Golem=== | ||
Weapon used by Count Graduon after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. | Weapon used by Count Graduon after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2. | ||
===Count Graduon=== | ===Count Graduon=== | ||
Revision as of 22:57, 3 April 2009
The following is a list of Sonichu characters, in order of appearance.
Sonichu #0
Sonichu
Chris-chan's "original" character. Sonichu is a Sonic re-color who is an unholy fusion of Sonic and Pikachu. He is the main protagonist in the comics. That is, until Chris takes the spotlight. His only purpose in recent episodes is to make sleazy sex references and bang Rosechu.
Chris-chan/Chris-chan Sonichu
See Christian Weston Chandler/Chris-Chan Sonichu
Chris-chan's alternate self and Mary Sue. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much more slender than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). His medallion allows him to don a fursuit when he shouts the phrase Electric Hedgehog Power!
Perfect Chaos Monster
The Perfect Chaos Monster, or simply "Perfect Chaos", is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the video game "Sonic Adventure." Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of Station Square. Sonic the Hedgehog defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the positive energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.
This battle was adapted by Christian Weston Chandler to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the premiere issue of his new comic book series.
The story begins with a male Pikachu who wanders to Station Square to witness Super Sonic battling Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". Whether this is the same Sonic/Chaos battle depicted in "Sonic Adventure" is unknown, although Chaos destroyed the city in the game, so a rematch in the same city seems dubious.
During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an unexplained phenomenon which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory. Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild.
Later, Sonichu meets Sonic in a chance encounter, and the two piece together what happened. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of Sonichu.
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sega mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in Sonichu #0 as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence.
Rosechu
Sonichu's worthless, 1-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. This is Chris's idea of women and pretty much the only thing he's got right.
Kel
Female Pokemon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. Never heard from again.
Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirch
Originally known as Naitsirch Giovanni, he was an orphan adopted by the Pokemon villain Giovanni, and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When Chris fell into the Dark Mirror Hole, his Medallion also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "straight" twin. Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after Black Sonichu, which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque Sonichu.
Black Sonichu
Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's DNA, which Naitsirhc obtained in battle. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for Giovanni, and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with Bubbles. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic rape at the hands of a trannie
The Chaotic Combo
Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokemon spawned as eggs from the Rainbow that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. The group is composed of:
- Wild Sonichu: Green recolor. Prays that God might pity him enough to grant him free sex.
- Punchy Sonichu: Red recolor. Knuckles the Echidna minus personality plus weird racist-looking eyes.
- Bubbles Rosechu: Blue recolor. Airhead slut.
- Angelica Rosechu: White recolor. Fatass slut. Gave up dieting for Lent.
- Magi-Chan Sonichu: Purple recolor. Sort of a furry Dr. Manhattan with a vest. Not a magician.
Flame the Sunbird
Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo and Kazooie. Flame is the guardian of the Legendary Master Sunstone, and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall.
Sarah Hammer
Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the Queen of the Cherokian Clan in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself. As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against Count Graduon. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone.
Wes Iseli
Sarah's boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the Wasabi Clan, a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee. When Chris fulfilled the Anchuent Prophecy by becoming Chris-Chan Sonichu, Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become Wes-Li Sonichu. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating Count Graduon. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in Sonichu #5, and attending Mary Lee Walsh's villain conclave in Sonichu #7.
Mary Lee Walsh
Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of Piedmont Virginia Community College, against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.
Jerkops
See main article Villainous foot-soldiers of Mary Lee Walsh, the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his Love Quest.
Zapdos
See Pokemon
Pokemon used by Naitsirhc to capture Rosechu and battle Sonichu in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's DNA, which he would use for his own evil purposes.
Dragonite
See Pokemon
One of Kel's Pokemon. When Rosechu expressed her loneliness, Kel offered her Dragonite to Rosechu for sexual purposes. Rosechu refused, since the Dragonite was far too large, even for her loose, gaping China.
Metonic
Evolved form of Sonichu. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.
Vamprosa
Evolved form of Rosechu. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.
Barbara Chandler
Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from Naitsirhc in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in Sonichu #0
Jerkhief
Leader of the Jerkops. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"
Sonichu #1
Doctor Robotnik
Arch-nemesis to Sonic the Hedgehog. Enlisted to aid Giovanni in capturing Sonichu.
Giovanni
Leader of Team Rocket. Determined to capture Sonichu at any cost, Giovanni teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, thanks to the timely intervention of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Bill The Scientist
One of the more popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill the Scientist was a genetics researcher for Team Rocket during the organization's brief alliance with Ivo Robotnik. It was Bill's duty to prepare Sonichu's DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of the clone until it took on a black color.
Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the Boulder-Dropping Whale and Yawning Squirtle.
Metal Sonichu
The Sonichu rip-off of Metal Sonic. Funnily enough the only character that is a rip-off even according to Chris. Sadly though, he blames Robotnik for it. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in Sonichu 1 he crashes into the moon, however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger. His current whereabouts are unknown, but Count Graduon is also on the moon now, so it is possible they are an alliance. Actually, no, Chris probably just forgot about the piece of shit and will never be heard of again.
Amy Rose
Sonic the Hedgehog's love interest. Met Rosechu one day in CWCville Mall, and the two discussed their uncanny resemblance, and their respective vapid love lives.
Hanna
Woman who trolled Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his Attraction Sign. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.
Sonichu #2
Keeper of the Destiny Cave
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his Medallion to transform into his fursona. After revealing the Anchuent Prophecy to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with Yawning Squirtle, if he's smart.
Golem
Weapon used by Count Graduon after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked CWCville, Chris-Chan Sonichu,Wes-Li Sonichu, and Saramah Rosechu teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2.
Count Graduon
The Evil released when the Anchuent Prophecy was fulfilled. Graduon is an centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the Cherokian Clan. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with Mary Lee Walsh, and has secretly manipulated Silvana Rosechu to become his trannie rape weapon against the heroic Electric Hedgehog Pokemon.
Sonichu #3
Sonee & Rosey
The baby versions of Sonichu, Rosechu, and their recolors. Though, technically, Baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu never could have existed because they were transformed from Pikachu and Raichu, not Pichu. They made their debut appearance on the first page of Sonichu #3.
Boulder-Dropping Whale
Boulder-Dropping Whale is a character who appeared in Sonichu #3, attempting to kill off the mother Swampert and Bubbles. As the name suggests the whale literally dropped a boulder on them. However there is some speculation that BDW may have knocked out the Swampert in an attempt to rape her. This leads to many Fans requesting that the whale makes a permanent appearance as a villain.
Some argue whether this is actually a real whale or the Pokemon Wailord, but since Chris did such a shitty job drawing this character one can't really determine if the Boulder-Dropping Whale is indeed a Pokemon or not.
It is rumored that the Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon along with Bill, Metal Sonichu, and Yawning Squirtle. They are most likely getting stoned like they heroes they are.
Nuns
The two nuns that raised Angelica, even though real nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words bless and lord frequently.
G.D.W. Shinabe
One of Chris' many horrible Excel Saga references, a horribly drawn and sloppily renamed version of Nabeshin (director Shinichi Watanabe's much funnier and more charismatic self-insert character).
No clue what the fuck "G.D.W." stands for.
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is a pathetic rip-off of Shinichi Watanabe, a.k.a. Nabeshin, the director of several anime titles, most notably Excel Saga and Puni Puni Poemy, in which he appears as part of the cast of characters. In Sonichu, Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe, who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts Punchy Sonichu and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe.
Mypoe
Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged Punchy Sonichu to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. Mypoe then proceeds to rip Punchy's tail off his body claiming that it was a weak point (which was stolen from DBZ). This causes Punchy to evolve from his Sonee form to his Sonichu form. He then proceed to Sky Uppercut Mypoe right out of the Dojo. Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the fans.
Sonichu #4
- Crystal Weston Chandler/Crystalina Rosechu
- Snorlax
- ScotPalazzo
- Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen
- Turdijerk
- Trebor Capman-Accomplice
- Crackder
Sonichu #5
- Jack's Knight as William Spicer (Sarah Hammer's husband)
- Sailor Megtune/Megan Schroeder
- Megagi La Skunk
- Harriet
- Joseph
- Julia
- Nick
- Jamsta Sonichu
- CWCville Constable
- CADD Chef, aka Keneru-Meneth
Sonichu #6
- Patti Chandler/Patti-Chan
- Allison Amber
- Shadow the Hedgehog (in Christian & The Hedgehog Boys ad)
- Zelina Rosechu
- Clawdorf
- Bionic the Hedgehog
Sonichu #7
Mighty the Armadillo
Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Armordillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the Sonic The Hedgehog video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by Sonichu readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.
When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" Bionic the Hedgehog, he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
Sammy
A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical "Family Guy" style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
- Skelevision
- Ghost Buggy
- The Filmation Ghostbusters
- Kellie Andes
- Bender Bending Rodreiguez
- Joseph Herring
- Beavis
- Butt-head
Janekops
Female Jerkops. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in Sonichu #4, by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at PVCC in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.
- Jason Kendrick Howell
- Kathleen (Jason's Woman Slave)
- Blanca
- Jiggliami
- Lolisa Rosechu
- Robert Simmons V aka sonichufan1985 aka sonichufan1986
Sonichu #8
- Thurston Howell III
- Lovey Howell
- Beel
- 4-cent_garbage.com employees
- George W. Bush
- Barack Obama
- John McCain
- Hillary Clinton
- Sarah Palin
- Simonla Rosechu
- Zapina Rosechu
Greta Squall
News anchor for "FQX News". Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.
- Silvana Rosechu
- Yawning Squirtle (hell yeah!)
- Mudkips
- Seadra
- Goldeen
- Staryu
- Corsola
- Octillery
- Mantine
- Corphish
- Optimus Prime
- Troll from the movie "Troll"?
- Sarah Jackson
- Sarah Cassandra McKenzie aka Panda Halo
Sonichu #9
Sonichu #10
Bugs Bunny
A beloved American cartoon icon for decades Bugs Bunny appeared briefly in Sonichu #10 to scold Jimmy Hill for his infringment upon Sonichu's copyright. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.