Examples of Chris's Ego
Here's an exhaustive list of Examples of Chris's Ego in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. The list is so long that it warrants its own page!
In the real world
School
- Manchester High School - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his artwork. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his mother and gal-pal Tiffany Gowen.
- PVCC - After being expelled for his appalling behavior by the Student's Dean, Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, George W. Bush. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.
Public places
- Wal-Mart - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ran. He would do this again in a Target soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
- The GAMe PLACe - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude with the patrons, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, Michael Snyder. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed apology nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had Eye of Judgment cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
- McIntire Park - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu medallion as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wading pool be deeper, which likely means the wading pool was not meant to be used by a full-grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.
With people
- Sarah Nicole Hammer - One of Chris's first crushes. Chris made the small booklet Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was merely a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with Wes Iseli before disposing her when she was married away to William Spicer.
- Megan Schroeder - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous ShecameforCWC.JPG picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst ED was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
- Jerkops - Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of Wal-Mart and Target, he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play Kick the Autistic and prevent him from completing his Love Quest. However, following his arrest on 28 October 2011, Chris has now assumed that all law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.
- Vanessa Hudgens: Joshua Martinez used the identity of the High School Musical star to troll Chris by pretending "Vanessa" wanted to ride his duck. The fact that Chris actually believed a bona fide celebrity wanted to give him her china speaks volumes about his hubris.
- 10 September 2009 - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of PlayStation Magazine Europe is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come personally to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
- Rejected Mailbag - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism". He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a virgin with rage, Chris also states that he "...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".
- The Sonichu promotional video - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
- Copyright claim against Vivian Gee - For the most part, Chris ignored the Audiobooks that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued Death threats against Vivian Gee, threatening to kill her AND her family. He then released his own Official Videobooks, which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
- Jimmy Hill, Liquid Chris and Alec Benson Leary - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone actually parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the Kacey and Liquid Call, when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
- Father Call - When talking to Kacey's father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his dog, declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task) was tough work, and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
- Evan - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "Simonla". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in Mailbag 43 took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
- Shigeru Miyamoto - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary icons like Mario and the Legend of Zelda, would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even more honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
- Alec Benson Leary - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the calls Alec made to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he doesn't believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, while having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In one call, Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
- Bob Chandler - On 01 March 2010, Chris tweeted the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many Christians do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the stress it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of Sonichu 11. The next day, he released two videos. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update his website or his blog with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.[1]
- Fans - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, and shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they are going to leave, yet then expects them to come to his aid whenever necessary. When Chris lost his latest gal-pal due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: the internet has close to two billion users. Chris thinks he has half of them.
- The Wallflower - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give him an apology for this, rather than him to her as it should be, she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his "C-Ya Later" video, when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he still thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
- Trolls - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has come up with the image that they are actually homosexual blacks who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods. Chris's paranoia has gotten to the point where he openly blames them for driving him out of every place he could go to, as well as for his inability to make friends.
- Lars - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate most other males for taking all of the boyfriend-free girls and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with Jackie, acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (with liberal use of racist terms) and threatening to kill him should he say anything about it. Now there's something to think about. However, it should be noted that this isn't the first time he has done this.
- Love Quest - A recurring requirement for potential boyfriend-free girls, established most notably on his attraction signs and in his Sonichu's_News_Dash, is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004 [the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18-year-old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a day older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
- Jackie - Not even his sweetheart is safe from the ego. In the final e-mail exchanges[2] between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was being mean to him and hating him by pointing out his flaws, still believing himself to be flawless and special. Ultimately, but perhaps predictably, it was Chris's own ego that led to the resulting collapse of the relationship.
- Surfshack Tito - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after his return to the internet. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things, lest Chris reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (actually done by entirely unrelated people), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their friendship, not relationship - something he never had), to pay him $1000 (probably to pay for the PS3 that he destroyed) and to remove everything he added to the CWCki (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily reupload it).
- Michael Snyder - Michael has been a thorn in Chris's side since the day he was kicked out of the GAMe PLACe. At first, it seemed that Chris's animosity towards Michael was minor, and that he just wanted to go back and start buying stuff again. However, after The Wallflower incident, Chris had stepped up his attempts to get back in and failed miserably. This has lead Chris to throw "anti-Semitic" "slurs" (e.g., calling him a "Jew"), and attempting vehicular assault at least twice. As of now, he sees Michael as some sort of ring leader for cyber-bullying and considers the GAMe PLACe to be the headquarters for it all. Though Snyder was openly lenient on the charges, Chris still called him a "thieving liar" before the judge.
- Barbara Chandler - Despite her disapproval of his Tomgirl shenanigans (she even tried bribing him to get him to stop wearing a bra and panties), Chris continued to parade around as a crossdresser, no doubt causing a lot of undue embarrassment to his mother. From what little contact anyone had with Chris since a certain incident, Chris has shown no visible remorse for getting his aging mother thrown in jail and waist deep in legal troubles since then. While he does mention Barb as being "the only person who cares about him" in a Facebook note, the note primarily focuses on his grievances with the trolls and how much they've made his life miserable. Again, this comes on the heels of the Chandlers ending up in legal troubles, which was entirely his fault.
Online
- CWC's Second Message - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
“ | Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000. | ” |
- Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even demands, respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, mass debating on camera, discriminating against others because of race, gender, and sexual orientation, spending taxpayer money on sex toys and video games, uploading poorly-drawn pictures of himself fingering Megan to Encyclopedia Dramatica, and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of anyone.
- LittleBigPlanet - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ever.
- Web Soup - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
- Chris and exercise - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered lifting up a chair to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
- Chris and famous people - Chris has compared himself to Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President Barack Obama, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Red Skelton, Dick van Dyke, Ricky Ricardo, and Jaleel White, who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as Optimus Prime, Sonic the Hedgehog, Chun-Li, Homer Simpson, and Peter Griffin. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in his family tree. This is how Anne Boleyn, Daniel Weston and an unknown Cherokee fellow appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many Wikipedia pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
- Chris E-Mails - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing shecameforcwc.jpg, he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax Anna McLerran and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his Scale of Respect was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
- Chris and his ED Page - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the nice folks of Encyclopedia Dramatica found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby he tried to retract, modify, erase, and even supply the page with new material. In 17 December 2009, he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.[3]
- Chris and his own webpage - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by Jack Thaddeus. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama will actually listen to his whiny, fat ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself the captain of this boat and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
- Chris and the Sonichu Forum - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious Mailbag 50 was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris wasn't much of a catch IRL, Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
- Chris and the CWCki - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that led to his breakup with The Wallflower. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or there would be trouble. Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
- Leaving the Internet - No fewer than six times, Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
- Flipnote Hatena - After "distancing himself from the internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of An Ol' Classic Dream, he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
- Trollbusters - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on ModNation Racers. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to fail.
- Calling Out - In Chris's first video since he "left" the internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.
- Facebook - On 1 April 2012, Chris posted a note on his Facebook, talking about how all of his trolls know nothing about him, that what they've said and done is totally uncalled for, and that the only person who cares about him is his mother and he would rather not meet anyone who might be a troll. This is despite the fact that numerous white knights have attempted to tell Chris that he needs to straighten up or he's going to die, and some of the trolling attempts were attempts to get him to do just that. All of these were ignored. Later, on 28 April 2012, Chris placed screenshots on the CWCki forums, and started bragging about 'deceiving the trolls' despite them merely making small talk over his announcement about re-using the Attraction Sign. Even more telling, though, is his claim that he knows where every user lives, that that he'll find them all.
- Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing - Strapped for cash following the fire that temporarily cost him his home, Chris attempted to sell an original piece of Sonichu work. While initial attempts led to artificially increased prices through troll influence, Chris's later attempts to sell the work had him list the asking price at $1000 USD. Though it's probably due to desperation, the fact that Chris thought that his artwork was worth that much is astounding.
Contests
- Harvey Birdman Commercial - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with Mary Lee Walsh, and Sonichu, but very, very little about Birdman himself.
- Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown - In his reviews of the top 10 videos, Chris highly praised his entry and claimed it was the best. After losing the contest to Adam Stackhouse, Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
- GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes - After trolls caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over $200) for himself.
Other
- Mumble 3 - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one.
- Mumble 4 - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
- Chris and health - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he was ten years ago, despite the fact that he has a gut and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses professional psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
- Homosexuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in Kacey Call 22, Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
- His Church - In a recent call to arms against Asperchu, Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
- His copyright - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
- His answering machine - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
- Greene County School Board - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
- In a one-page spread designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a similar ad featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside a bunch of furry runts, are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite Evan. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
- Similarly, the poster ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the message of the sign.
- Forgiveness Blessings - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his retard magic to cleanse the souls of the wicked mortals who dare to play Kick the Autistic instead of worshipping him, and has done so on numerous occasions.
- Exposing Jeff - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
- DivineTrial - Clyde is put to trial by Chris (cosplaying as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently Panda's rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, though his various acts of trolling against Chris were.
- Christian's Favorite Hits! - The cover features a picture of Chris with a halo made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.
- Losing his virginity - After apparently losing his ever-so-hated virginity, the news of it spread across the troll community with one thing in mind - it could not have happened. When Chris finally admitted it, he talked down to the trolls, vowing never to reveal what had happened.
In the comic
“ | I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB | ” |
Chris |
While Issue 0 and Issue 1 do focus on Sonichu, Chris-Chan takes over as the main character throughout Issue 2, Issue 5, Issue 6 and Issue 7, with Sonichu as a supporting character, and even when he does appear, he's shouting some retarded praises about Chris. Issue 8 and Issue 9 see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but he's basically just a Mary-Sue analogy for Chris. The main story arc of Issue 10 is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said Issue 2, and will pull powers out of his ass. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.
Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as CWCVille. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as CWC Cola. The radio station is called "K-CWC"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his Hyrule ripoff is called "RuleCWC". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created proclaim him "father". No one in his city cares if he slacks off from his job as Mayor. He even goes so far as to proclaim that there are no elections when he proclaims BILLY MAYS is NOT the True and Honest mayor of CWCville.
Instances of Chris's ego in the comics
- Sonichu #0: While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "creative" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of fail.
- Sonichu #1: Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing Doctor Robotnik is.
- Sonichu #2: His portrayal of Wes-Li counts, despite not really knowing Chris in real life he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws Sarah pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being jealous of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a one-time date. Mary Lee Walsh also appears as a villain.
- Sonichu #3: This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and they threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding true love. He turns into Chris-Chan Sonichu and defeats them with the help of Darkbind Sonichu, who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
- Sonichu #4: It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his Love Quest. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll Hannah, who raised his heart level to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
- Sonichu #5: This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on Megan Schroeder, the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named William Spicer, Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic Yu-Gi-Oh character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
- Sonichu #6: The Patti Chandler Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has Bionic ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character Megagi La Skunk. Chris would later claim Megan's character as his own.
- Sonichu #7: Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a Family Guy style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the Road to Germany episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn Shecameforcwc.jpg (he blames it on ED, even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and Joshua Martinez hooking him up with Vanessa Hudgens. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation Jiggliami, who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll Robert Simmons V about how awesome Chris is.
- Sonichu #8: While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous Rule 34 he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm 4-cent garbage.com, which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes Jason Kendrick Howell, the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "Women's rights"...well, all except one underaged one, who can't strip because of the "dumb laws". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart Sarah Jackson killed by Optimus Prime; another former sweetheart, Blanca, returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to Ryan Cash and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment PandaHalo.
- Sonichu #9: Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented Reginald Sneasel to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between Punchy and Layla in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. After Reginald's plan fails, Angelica Rosechu approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded Dating Education concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Ivy into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a Power Rangers team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
- Sonichu #10 With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, and physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters Jason Kendrick Howell and Beel to condemn Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that February 24th, 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves Asperchu characters from "The False God In Brown Strips" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, via cruel and unusual forms of execution- two of which Chris himself participates in!
- Sonichu Special 4: Chris steals Kacey from Liquid for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a handgun, and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later come back to bite him after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.
Christian Love Day
Christian Love Day is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in Sonichu 10 on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 Magi-Chan completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world. "Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, Asexuality are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.
Significance
“ | Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday. | ” |
Chris, in his CWC Blog for 7 January, 2010 |
Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is Mexican Flag Day, celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the Nazi Party was founded, way back in 1920.
Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his "blood" to "save" the population of the Earth from "damnation". Chris thinks he's Jesus. Big surprise.
The Declaration
“ | Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY! | ” |
Chris, totally not ripping off the movie Independence Day |
Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as making a video for the occasion, asking his army of fans to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he admitted to Alec Benson Leary that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a friend did it for him, and says he saw the movie Independence Day only once.
References
See also
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