April 2012 Facebook posts

The following is an account of Chris's Facebook activity in April 2012.

Summary

• 1 April - Chris accuses everyone on the internet of not caring about him.
• 4 April - Chris has had sex.
• 8 April - Chris provides some details about his one sexual encounter.
• 9 April - Chris went on vacation.
• 13 April - Chris claims to be losing weight.
• 13 April - Chris reveals his non-virginity to the public.
• 14 April - Chris reviews a movie.
• 16 April - Chris had to go to court.
• 16 April - Chris taunts the trolls.
• 17 April - Chris reviews his new hairspray.
• 19 April - Chris needs help meeting women.
• 22-24 April - Chris is desperate to find a sweetheart.
• 25 April - Chris demands that his friends help him.
• 25 April - Chris likes Derpy.
• 26-28 April - Chris plays a dumb game with his trolls.
• 29 April - Chris tries to lift his self-esteem.
• 30 April - Chris mistakenly believes a troll has been destroyed.
• 30 April - Chris clears up a misconception of the trolls.

Status Updates from Chris

No Longer a Virgin...

4 April 2012 I am not a virgin anymore.

Anna responded:

What?! Explain!!

Chris:

Now, now, ladies. I don't kiss and tell. ;)

Good Mood

8 April 2012 I have been in a good mood a lot lately, because I finally had sex, so I'll divulge a couple of details. I mean, seriously, I literally awake, and the first thing that comes to mind is the occasion. and I am smiling for hours. She was a very nice and sweet early 20s woman: and even better. she's half-cherokee. We've hit it off from the shared characteristic of being good people, and a very delightful and pleasant conversation. We exchanged phone numbers, and we did it in her room. I put together a nice gift basket for her to show my appreciation. Aside from me and she, only one other very trusted friend, who led us to our meeting knows the full story. And in the future, the other person who will learn of it is my Sweetheart-to-be. ;) If ya really wanna know, you'd have to stay with me for a long while and more.

Really Enjoyed my Dick

8 April 2012 Oh, I forgot to mention, she Really Enjoyed my dick; it was soo big and good, that it put the last dude she was with to shame; Her Words.

Anna:

You have rendered me speechless.

Vacation

9 March 2012 Hey. Just got back from a vacation in the country (Redoak, VA). The relatives there were busy, but we enjoyed a nice, peaceful time away from the stresses of here. And mama planted fresh flowers at her father's and Corina's graves in good respect. The church in front of the Weston Family there had a mannequin in front of their cross that Easter Sunday; looked really good like our Lord.

Losing weight

13 April 2012 I'm losin weight. Going down to 223 and falling.

Anna replied:

Way to go!

Three Stooges

14 April 2012 I have just watched The (New) Three Stooges Movie; It was a lot of laughs, it had a fair set of plots, and I feel the actors captured the essence of the original Moe, Larry and Curly very well. It was neat seeing Larry and Curly watching Moe giving the MTV Jersey Shore gang the pokes, slaps and gags. And the placement of the classic theme song and Act Cards (out of three) were well-placed. And all of the classic references make this movie a real feat for the classic reproduction. It is very good. :)

Dana replied:

glad you enjoyed it!: ) i haven't seen it yet but i love the original stooges.

Chris added:

My favorite classic short is "Loco Boy Makes Good;" it is a Classic example of The Stooges. "'Press.' 'Press.' 'Pull.'"

Tweet, tweet

16 April 2012 Tweet, Tweet. Just testing the link between my OLD Twitter to my facebook.

Cool, That Works. :) I Approve My Follwers Too.

Really Tired

16 April 2012 Just lost 2 hours of life in court waiting for hearing date setup. Really Tired. Wish Snyder dead from HIS own self-stress. I need sleep.

Kim wrote:

Though I wouldn't wish death on anyone, I'm sorry you're still going through all this. I'm here for you. :)

Chris:

Thank You.

Twitter re-engaged

17 April 2012 I have Blocked EVERY LAST Ex-Follower of my Twitter; Now Only my REAL Friends should be able to read my tweets.

By that, I mean my friends here on Facebook.

I think it is safe to tweet to facebook now. :)

Hairspray

17 April 2012 I have tried a hairspray my cherokee gal friend recommeded, and I like it. Aussie Sprunch; it keeps my hair poofy, and smells of candy. :)

Freeze up

19 April 2012 My self-confidence is still good; I still smile a lot; but I lately freeze up upon seeing a pretty woman; why can't I even say "hi"?

Kim answered:

One step at a time, but eventually you must take the dive. Even if you're rejected multiple times, you must continue trying. Like I've told you once, you won't ever succeed unless you try. Just take rejection in stride. Everyone gets rejected one way or another in their lifetime.

Chris:

Yep.

He added:

I must still have some old fears of her being already taken, possible troll, rejection, etc, etc, etc.

Aside from ice-breaking with friendly face recognition, I would appreciate help on flirting with women; kissing help would be good too.

The flirting advice and pointers are to be offered to me IN PERSON; words alone just don't work as hot as experience.

Twitter requests

19 April 2012 Any of y'all, my friends on facebook, want to follow my Tweets, please leave me a comment with your @name on f.b., and send me your request

I still require a sweetheart

22 April 2012 I enjoyed the Canterlot Wedding M.L.P. 2-Parter episodes; It was very nice, and the songs sang were v great.

I just w it again on my iTunes

I just enjoyed it again on my iTunes, with my mother. Still a great show. Now, I feel reminded of my desperation for my Sweetheart-2-B.

The virgin-breaker was a Great Milestone for me, and it made me feel more self-confident, but still, it was One thing.

I still require my Sweetheart. :_( ...<3

...But Still Stuck with Rage

The following is a series of tweets Chris wrote on 23 April 2012 and shared on Facebook:

23 April 2012 At WMUMChurch yesterday, I went, but the loneliness was really hitting me. I just am not feeling loved in my congregation.

Only two people acknowledged me during the opening Passing of the Peace; ONE of who I actually know. Still did not perk me up much.

I wrote a LOT of Prayer Concerns about myself and put them into the top collection plate Before the service started.

Am I acknowledged in needing prayers and concerns when that part came up? NO.

I do not care much for Ed's words of worship, although he does his own good job; EVERY Sunday I went and Elizabeth Foss was there...

HER words Always, if not mysteriously, coincidentally, telepathically or whatever, HER words Always Related to what I was feeling...

right then. Ed always talks on and on in a droning way about the Religious aspects of Methodism, but RARELY about the People and...

how WE are feeling. Elizabeth ALWAYS had a GREAT Comforting word. I wish she had NOT left the church: She really is a caring and good...

person. Mr. Ed, I feel, is an uncaring, non-understanding, uncompassionate, ignorant, stubborn old horse.

And I feel like I was considerably forgotten in the church; I knew I was gone for too long, but my internal clock kept me awake at night...

and prohibited me from being a day person. *sigh* I am Lonely.

NOT many people, INCLUDING family, Really or Truly cares about me OR my mother...

I am alone at the moment. My mother is getting a sleep-napia for her snoring at M.J.H.

It just dawned on me that THIS is what it is like if it WAS just me... It really IS lonely, and it is hell to me.

I understand financially, I just could not survive alone for long, and my daddy was right on that.

WOULD it Kill any woman to approach me in public and offer her hand in friendship with a Long and True Relationship with me?!!

If my mom had not found my dad, and HE was lonely and old too, HE would not have lived TWO WEEKS from that faithful day in Maddy's Pub.

I certainly would Not last long either. Is my fathers missed fate my fate to be?

I am in a LOT of emotional pain and distress right now.

My mom is awake now, so I go pick her up. But I realize what I have just Tweeted. I can not afford to be alone in life. :_(

Kim replied with the following comment:

24 April 2012 Sorry I haven't been able to email you these past few days! It seems you have gone through quite a bit. If you need to vent, don't be shy to send me an email. Even if I don't respond, I always get them. Just keep your head held high, even when things seem hopeless. You'll get through this with that driven spirit you have. :) I hope your mom is okay and give her my regards.

Chris replied:

24 April 2012 Thank You.

Panic

24 April 2012 I had a great amount of sleep but I feel mighty weak from the stress, fear and all that from yesterday.

I desperately require my Sweetheart to be I seriously can not find and contact her by myself. I NEED HELP, PLEASE.

I NEED HELP! On my Sweetheart Search; NOW!

Cole info

24 April 2012 Cole Smithey - The Smartest Film Critic in the World http://t.co/UBijdU6 via @colesmithey

Skype info

24 April 2012 Exclusively to my confirmed friends, I can be reached through my PSVita on Skype at "chrischan02241982".

Comfort me!

25 April 2012 Isn't ANYONE ELSE reading my posts?! I am under emotional distress, and ONLY 1/8 of my Real Friends offer me comfort and wisdom?!

Dana replied:

i am. i don't know of anything i can do to help though. :(

Typically, Chris snaps at this attempt to comfort him:

"WOULD it Kill any woman to approach me in public and offer her hand in friendship with a Long and True Relationship with me?!!"

How about TELLING other women about me, spreading GOOD words about me, etc., etc.

Dana:

i do say nice things about you. i don't know who to introduce you to though. don't be mad at me.

Chris:

Most ANY Single Woman.

I'm not mad; just self-frustrated. It's not your fault.

Tell women I'm a nice guy

25 April 2012 EVERYONE who cares can TALK to other women about me; spreading GOOD words about me, etc., etc. IT would be Truly and Greatly Appreciated.

Uncharacteristic optimism

29 April 2012 I'm feeling lonely and tired. Been reading trolls' thoughts. Amazingly, half to most are bad, but a Lot are Good.

Popularly, I am still a great artist, I am more dedicated when I set my to doing something; drawing LOTS of comic pages.

I am an interesting, unique individual, they see me as harmless, I am more than meets their eyes in depth.

I am more social, outgoing and spontaneous than ANY of those SHY, Fallible Trolls.

I have a flair in Cheering People Up, I am Fun and Comical, and I am Direct and Honest.

Their screencapped, "unsolicited", highlighted testimonials will be added to my album later.

PLEASE Relay my good qualities to your women friends, and introduce them to me ASAP.

Kim wrote:

I told a girlfriend of mine about you, and she seemed real Interested. But apparently she only goes for men with realty dark hair. Sorry! If she changes her mind, I'll have her call you or send you an email!

Follow Kim's example

30 April 2012 EVERYONE. If you'll read Kim's comment in response to my recent Tweet below,...

SHE did the Right Thing; She Told a Girl Friend of hers about me. Follow Her Example, Please. And Thank You. :)

One down

30 April 2012 CHECK THIS OUT! A Troll FINALLY Got Served! I Looove It

Anna had her doubts:

Looks like it's fake...

confirmed. just found this http://789chan.org/cwc/res/206305.html /cwc/ - Don't get mad; these people fucking LOVE mad.

Chris replied:

Oh well, that's fine; Rob Bell has my login info; I have the growing number of screencaps; the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies' downfall IS within our reach and their demise.

Notes from Chris

An Open Note

1 April 2012 at 11:12pm I want to make something very clear to everyone on the internet. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is my mother. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a Caring, Compassionate, all-around Good Person. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned Coldest Shoulder Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content. The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, Barbara, and outside of this house, I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares, and may God have mercy on your souls. You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.

An Open Note (4/13/2012)

13 April 2012 at 10:08pm It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place. I do not require any congratulations or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person. And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own self-fabricated theories and fables; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your selfish, demoralizing, incriminating, lonely, hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred, and whatever mental and emotional issues you each likely suffer from. You Trolls, Get A Life. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler 4/13/2012

to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu

16 April 2012 at 4:21am Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and thinking you all are better than me. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously laugh at people with a disability, and their mistakes, because the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll. I am in your dreams, haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, jealosies and lackluster purposes against me and my family and friends. You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the once innocent good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries. HA HA HA. **This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.

Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.

25 April 2012 at 17:45 In my humble opinion, I actually like Derpy for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from an episode of "South Park"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny. Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, VA, USA, respect and like Derpy, and I encourage Lauren Faust, Amy Keating Rogers, and the rest of the MLP:FIM crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance. Christian Weston Chandler. April 25, 2012 http://www.savederpy.com

Chris later commented:

And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on the Hub on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.

I have decided

26 April 2012 at 19:35 The time is too great, and these are grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 from 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. I Welcome All. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler April 25, 2012

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. (EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus) I Welcome All. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler April 25, 2012

Chris later commented:

I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.

Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D

On 28 April 2012, Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he let the trolls get to him in the mall, resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

28 April 2012 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO Fallible, Gullible, Paranoia-Prone, Clownish, At the Bottom of the Heap, Stupid FOOLS. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your comically inept and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his small-sausage name. All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and mistaken "facts". You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, Abuse, or anything of Malcontent, I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER. In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more INTELLIGENT, WISE and KNOWLEDGEABLE than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND. I am WATCHING each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and REST-ASSURED, I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All! YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real. Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler 4/28/2012 **More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps".

I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas

30 April 2012 at 01:41 And to quell one question. "JenkinsJinkies" "camp story"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to convince y'all to believe originated from Peter Griffin's Parrot; the episode Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". PUNK'D!!!