Cole Smithey
| “ | Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops. | ” |
| Cole, 24 July 2007 e-mail #3 | ||
| “ | I do not regret giving birth to Cole. | ” |
| Barbara Chandler[1] | ||
| Chandler Family | |
|---|---|
| |
| Cole Smithey | |
| Birth Name | Joseph Cole Smithey |
| D.O.B. | 24 July 1963 |
| Gender | Male |
| Nationality | American |
| Race | White |
| Parents | Ron Coleman Yeatts |
| Occupation(s) | Film critic, musician |
Joseph Cole Smithey (born 24 July 1963)[2] is Chris's half-brother, Barbara's first son, and one of the successful escapees from the Casa De Chandler. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. Cole's e-mails to Chris revealed a lot about the Chandler family.
Relationship with Barbara and Bob
Cole wasn't on good terms with Bob and not even with Barbara. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather Jerry with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." Bob wasn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."[3]
Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather to Ran Coleman Yeatts.
Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.
Relationship with Chris
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself.[4] Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the abusive babysitter,[4] which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.
Cole visited for Chris's 18th birthday party in 2000. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him A CD For Cole Smithey! Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and everything to do with Chris, even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.
Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left Virginia (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "Julie").
In July 2007, Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the PaRappa contest. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.[5] Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's nudes were sent from his e-mail in September 2008, Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AGAIN."
Cole in the comics
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the CWCipedia profile for Rosechu, there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave Kel the Pichu who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in CWCville.
Personal success
Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around 1996.[6] Cole lives with his wife Katherine, has been called "the smartest film critic in the world,"[7] and plays guitar in a jazz band.[4].
Gallery
A CD For Cole Smithey!
As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Acting
Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival.
Sauces
External links
- ColeSmithey.com
- Cole at Rotten Tomatoes
- Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.
- Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival.
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