August 2015 Facebook Posts

This page covers Chris's activity on his personal Facebook page in August 2015.

Summary

• 1 August - Chris announces another batch of medallions for sale on eBay.
• 11 August - Chris provides a teaser for a new Amiibo.
• 11 August - Chris publicly asks his brother Cole to reconnect with him and Barb.
• 12 August - Chris reveals the Blake Amiibo.
• 12 August - Chris is confused by a post regarding transgender issues.
• 14 August - With some ambiguity, Chris declares that he is a Pegasister.
• 15 August - Chris sweetens the deal on his Blake Amiibo.
• 19 August - Chris announces that he has relisted the Blake Amiibo.
• 22 August - Chris offers advice to incoming students.
• 22 August - Getting more desperate, Chris encourages his fans to collect all his Sonichu Amiibo.
• 22 August - Chris declares that he is a "lipstick lesbian" and gets in a spat with his gal-pal Kim Wilson.
• 23 August - Another reminder about the Blake Amiibo.
• 24 August - Chris cops a snotty attitude about his fans' failure to buy his Amiibo.
• 26 August - Chris yet again pushes the Amiibo and hints that he might be getting paid to draw the comic again.
• 29 August - Chris reveals that he attended OmegaCon.

Chris's Posts

Much More Medallions

1 August 2015 Alright Everyone: Twenty More Medallions Listed and Available at the usual flat $30 (25 + 5) each! Ship default medals as early as Monday, August 3rd; Custom Orders accepted and take less than two weeks to make. Thank you for your patronage. http://www.ebay.com/itm/-/191650037013?

William Elliott Waterman wrote:

I thought you sold the last one already.

Chris replied:

That listing was put up over two weeks ago, and those medals were made before then.

I'm On The Edge Of My Seat

11 August 2015 A New Sonichu enters the distribution set! Find out who Wednesday or Thurday of this week!

Please Take Care Of Barb So I Can Go Out And Have Sex With Hot Lesbians

11 August 2015 Also, check out this One-of-a-kind ‪#‎JCS‬ personal postcard to our mother from his ‪#‎ColeBlooded‬ band days in 1994! Brother, please come back and let your family meet Your Family. ‪#‎Joseph‬ ‪#‎Cole‬ ‪#‎Smithey‬ ‪#‎JosephColeSmithey‬ ‪#‎ColeSmithey‬ ‪#‎MovieReview‬ ‪#‎Brian‬ ‪#‎Vouglas‬ ‪#‎BrianVouglas‬ ‪#‎Graham‬ ‪#‎Parker‬ ‪#‎GrahamParker‬ http://www.colesmithey.com

Cole's postcard, postmarked 9 July 1994, is addressed only to "Barbara" at "46 Branchland Ct.," which is not the actual address of Chris's home. It reads:

A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS BUT I'M WORTH A MILLION IN PRIZES. HOPE ALL IS WELL... I'LL BE DOIN' 21 SONGS LOVE & KISSES Cole

Introducing the Blake Amiibo

12 August 2015 New! Blake Sonichu Amiibo Figures available This Month in limited quantity! Ten are Available for swift shipment Worldwide! Also, Two Medallions are still available on the other listing (see earlier post below).

A fan asked:

What are they made out of?

Chris replied:

Same materials as the Sonichu Amiibo: plastic, model magic, acrylic paints, krazy glue; the difference is the Character, And the chip in the base is different too.

Later that day Chris edited this post to include:

Let me remind everyone what makes Blake not only Cool, but one of the good Bad People Gone Good. Scroll downward and read three of my books that feature him at a worst then at his better.

He then shared the albums of Sonichu issues 1, 3 and 8. Sonichu issues 0-8 had been available to read on Facebook since 2013, but he took this opportunity to draw attention to them.

Wearing His Anxieties On His Sleeve

"Lizzy the Lezzy," one of Chris's favorite Facebook people, posted an image with the comment, "ha!"

Chris didn't get it:

12 August 2015 I am a lesbian transwoman; I feel offended and confused by the quote in the image.

Chris is a Pegasister...Or Is He?

The page "Derpy Hooves and Friends - Friendship is Muffins" posted the following:

Lets see who wins! -Button Mash

In other words, like if you're a girl, comment if you're a boy. In a perfect symbolization of his gender confusion, Chris commented:

14 August 2015 I am a damn proud Pegasister! Finally! A word for us actual Woman and Girl Fans of MLP! Bronies can bow down to us, the Pegasisters!

Understandably, someone replied:

Then why did you comment?

Tantalizing Incentives

Three days after the issue, not a single Blake Amiibo had sold.

15 August 2015 Bonus: All of the Blake Sonichu Amiibo Figures have been leveled up to 50, and each have a random assortment of items and money for Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS! And, this time around, with each purchase, I will include an autographed photo of myself (the one in my Facebook Profile photo without the rainbow filter! So, Buy Today, because of Blake, there will Only, Officially, until a much later date, be this Limited Number of figures available for purchase! Do Not Miss Out!

Refusing To Face Reality

Chris only sold two of the Blake Amiibo in the allotted week, so he was forced to relist.

19 August 2015 Hey! Eight Blake Sonichu figures left! Come on up and buy one for yourself today. Maximum Smash Bros Level; maximum random items on them. Will include Autographed Photo of myself with each one (my profile photo without the rainbow filter). Figure of an anti-hero, and villain turned good! Collect all of the personally made and certified Figures to make a complete Sonichu Main Cast Set in months to come, counting this one!

Good Blood

Chris linked to a sorority recruitment video and wrote:

22 August 2015 Hey! New Freshman, and to-be Grads! Be sure to study very good in your semesters at College, High School and all the other schools! But Be Sure To Make a LOT of Friends, Face-to-Face. And if you're going to bully, or online-Hate ANYONE; Do Not Do It! Friendships and Good Blood last Longer and Better than Rivalries and Bad Blood! Be Friendly, Supportive, and KIND to Everyone! Have a Great and Safe Year!

Still Trying to Drum Up Amiibo Sales

Chris provided a link to a video entitled, "Sonic The Hedgehog Amiibo Confirmed for Super Mario Maker! (Wii U)," and wrote:

22 August 2015 Another Darn Good Reason to COLLECT the Sonichu and Rosechu Amiibo Set, and individual figures therein: they ALL will be compatible with LBP-Style Super Mario Maker! Awesome!

Chris is a Lipstick Lesbian

Chris proudly and fallaciously announces his status as a "lipstick lesbian":

22 August 2015 I am a Wild and Exotic Lipstick Lesbian!!!

This claim initiated a testy dialogue with his friend Kim:

Christine Weston Chandler Oh no, you're not a lipstick lesbian.

Chris responded with autistic terseness:

I Am.

Kim countered:

Christine Weston Chandler Nah, technically speaking, you're not even close. You're more of a more run-of-the-mill lesbian. I think you might be a little under educated on your lesbian types.

Kim then provided a link to the Wikipedia article for Lipstick lesbian and added:

Not that you're not a lesbian. But you're really miscategorizing yourself.

Chris:

No, I have actually looked up the definitions of types of lesbians. I dress femininely, and I prefer to do so very much. And I wear makeup.

Kim countered again, this time rather bluntly:

Nah, it's not about how you dress. It's how you pass.

Which you don't.

Chris, having been beaten, characteristically ignores her argument and responds with a gag order:

Also, Kim Wilson, yeah, you are crossing lines and raining on my parade; Shut Up.

Kim, however, has the last laugh:

:( Christine Weston Chandler You're basically putting up really sketchy billboards and asking no one to comment at them. If you'd like, I can tell you when you should take down posts ahead of time. Does that work? :)

Still Pushing the Blake Amiibo

23 August 2015 Six Blake Sonichu Figures Left! Buy Now before they're Gone to make room for next month's limited-number character! Once the next character goes up, Blake will not return for a Long Time!

Miley Cirus

"Lizzy the Lezzy" posted images of a transgender child. Chris commented:

23 August 2015 (S)he reminds me of Miley Cirus with tht haircut.

No More Ms. Nice Guy

24 August 2015 Attention. On the remaining six Blake Sonichu Amiibo figures, I will now include one Sonichu medallion per figure free with purchase. this offer applies for right now and into the third and final relist later this week. Do not, I repeat, do not expect me to be this nice on any of the remaining characters in any of the coming months.

One of Chris's gal-pals was critical:

Well, that's nice of you to do that for your fans - but I'd probably remove the second paragraph. It kinda makes you come of poorly to potential customers. Saying you "won't be nice again" sort of kills the "genuine" spirit of the offer and sort of sounds desperate.

Consequently, Chris changed the second paragraph to read:

I forgot to mention, I have to make the six medals, so it won't be until Friday the 28th at the latest when I will be most able to ship them out. But please, do Guarantee your Blake Sonichu Amiibo and Sonichu Medallion Bundles for before Friday Shipment NOW.

Chris's friend responded:

Better

New Comics?

Having sold only three Blake Amiibo during the second listing, Chris had to make a third attempt.

26 August 2015 LAST CHANCE to Purchase and Expand your collection of ‪#‎Sonichu‬ and ‪#‎Rosechu‬ ‪#‎Amiibo‬ Figures. Bonus Sonichu Medallion And Autographed Photo with EVERY Purchase out of the Remaining Five Figures. Next Month is a different character of a Primary Color. I may or may not make a medallion set next month; I am setting up an opportunity for me to get back to drawing the pages, and getting Paid too, I will be continuing the Figures; a different character per month, until the main cast is complete. Limited Number. Make a ‪#‎Checklist‬ based from my uploaded photos. Have a good day.

A friend suggested:

Have you considered making these figures per request instead of making them in advance and hoping they'll sell? I figure it would save you time, money, and materials if you did. You could still keep a character limited to each month like you e been doing, just announce in advance and have customers place orders. That way you'll know how many to make and not be stuck trying to sell remains figures each month. Just trying to be helpful. Good luck in whatever you choose to do

Chris shot this down:

I do it per my specs and whichever Critical Character I am able to get beforehand. If I did what you say, I would be like up to a Month before I would complete One Figure. Especially hunting for Pit, Little Mac and Ness for $X<$30 each, so I can stay in the $50 Price. Magi-Chan will probably sell for $60-$75, because he would require That Pika Tail along with the Ness. ¡Pensa que esta dicendo, chica!

Chris's Spanish is, as always, poor, but presumably he was going for, "Think about what you're saying, girl!"

Chris Attends a Con

Chris reveals that he not only attended a convention for the first time in a long time, but he even cosplayed as one of his favourite My Little Pony characters. Unfortunately for Chris, the image he used as a reference is flipped - the musical notes are the wrong way around, which Chris failed to notice. This is, of course, not the only thing inaccurate about this cosplay. This may have been why he dyed his hair blue.

29 August 2015 At ‪#‎OmegaCon2015‬; totes ‪#‎BassCannon‬ the audience at ‪#‎Cosplay‬ Contest! — at JOHN PAUL JONES ARENA.

William Elliott Waterman wrote:

Awesome vocaloid costume!

Chris replied:

Vocaloid?! I am Not a Computer! I'm Vinyl Scratch, A.K.A. DJ Pon3! A Musical Soul with a deep sense into that bass. A slave to the beat and rhythm. You do not program me, because I'm already programmed in my biological CPU!