Sonichu 9
Sonichu 9 is the tenth issue of Christian Weston Chandler's Sonichu comic book. It depicts Chris's return from the Time Void he fell into in Sonichu 7, as well as the canonical version of the sequence depicted in timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos.
The issue sees the debut of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, Ivy, and GodJesus. Sonichu and Rosechu's marriage and children are acknowledged for the first time since Chris introduced the retcon in August 2009.
Confusion about what Sonichu 9 is and is not arises from the fact that Chris published a preview of Episode 21, scheduled for Sonichu 10 before beginning work on Episode 18 for Sonichu 8; many have mistakenly referred to one or both of these stories as issue 9. However, the asspies at CWCki have always been able to keep track of the TRUE and HONEST continuity, and know Sonichu 9 features Episodes 19 and 20. Chris himself has confirmed this on CWCipedia.
Production
Work on the issue began as early as December 2008 when drew the cover, although progress has stalled due to the stress of coping with the trolls demanding MOAR COMIX. In a departure from his normal publishing procedure, Chris has released the content of this issue section by section: The first three pages of Episode 19 were released on 30 March 2009, followed by the rest of the episode on 12 April 2009; the story would not be fully colored and lettered until July 2009. Pages from Episode 20 quickly followed beginning on August 8th, suggesting Chris has finally gotten his focus back, perhaps due to competition from the impostor. Production halted after this, but new pages were made in October 2009 due external forces pressuring him in finishing Episode 20 to solve a copyright dispute.
Due to continuing issues with webhosting, Sonichu 9's rolling debut has spanned no less than four different websites: sonichuandrosechu.com, cwcville.com, CWCipedia, and Chris's DeviantART account.
The Cover
The cover depicts the entire Chaotic Combo as if about to go into battle. It is presumably a montage scene, and is most notable for prominantly featuring Rosechu in the process of pulling bananas out of her skirt.
Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)
This episode is based around our heroes attending "Dating Education" classes, because although they've spent years training in dojos and fighting the world's most villainous enemies, none of them are able to talk to the opposite sex.
The comic opens with Punchy announcing his intention to ace the class and make Angelica his woman, while Simonla orders Zapina into the high-school version of the class to pick up a 16 year old boy. The class itself is taught by Ms. Jackaras. One boy named "Reginald" is jealous of Punchy for being paired up with the girl he likes named Layla. Wild is paired with Simonla. Some South Park knock offs are paired together. Ivy (after Julie was written out, see BlueSpike PSN Chat 2), is paired with someone but shows no interest in him because she and Chris had the same dream where God/Jesus show up and explain that Chris and Ivy are meant to be together. Chris is still in the void at this point and they have never actually met, making this situation more absurd. The most likely explanation is that Ivy is having an acid flashback.
Ms. Jackaras orders the class to socialise with their chosen partners anonymously over instant message chat, which is far more beneficial than asking them to, oh I don't know, speak to each other face to face. Being the amorous flake that he is, Punchy soon forgets all about Angelica as he speaks to Layla over IM and dreams his dreams of china. Unfortunately, the jealous Reginald tries to put a stop to Punchy's sexy plans and cuts the cable on the computer, thus cutting off any contact between Layla and Punchy. Sadly, his plan fails as Punchy merely asks Wild Sonichu to cross over to the other-side of the room and ask Layla out for him. Layla totally says yes. How Wild knew who Layla was from her screen-name is left unexplained. While Wild is doing Punchy's dirty-work for him, he spies Simonla's computer monitor and concludes that he has been IM'ing with her all along, calloo-callay.
Wild takes advantage of this situation by taking her back to his place and showing her his vibrating bed. Punchy meets Layla for the first time outside class, and they make a romantic trip to McDonald's where Punchy demands that da freedom fries not be invaded by salt. Outside class Reginald is comptemplating suicide when he is approached by Angelica who listens to his pathetic tale of woe and, possibly due to use of narcotic substances, flirts with Reginald until he summons the courage to ask her out. To his (and our) bewilderment, she says yes. Back in class, Ms. Jackaras's sister announces her tragic death, but no matter, and hands out the exam scores.
Episode 20: CWC-Defense
The full plot of Episode 20 was unknown for a long time, but it was expected to be the climactic resolution of the battle of CWCville seen in Sonichu 6, with the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens renewing their attack, the electric hedgehogs finally gathering the Sonichu Balls to free Crystal from the magic mirror, and Chris at last escaping the time void. Chris's videos at the time contained an increasing number of references to the 1986 film Transformers: The Movie, and given the introduction of transforming robots it looked like this story would be a "parody" of that storyline. Now that the comic is finally released, the word "anticlimax" creeps in the mind for some reason.
The episode begins with BILLY MAYS, who appears to have damaged his hands in some kind of bizarre finger mangling accident, explaining that he was never the mayor of CWCville, just in case anybody hasn't heard Chris say so in the previous four months. In a sidenote, Chris asks Billy to please come back someday, suggesting that he may really not understand anything about death.
The story opens in earnest with the couples established in Episode 19 (Wild/Simonla, Reginald/Angelica, Punchy/Layla) waking up after coitus, proving that Chris's dating education plan is just a scheme to arrange sex. They are all awakened by Silvana, Reldnahc Ha-Taque, and Wes-Li Sonichu racing around CWCville preparing some major assault involving PVCC's Decepticlones.
Meanwhile, at 14 Brunchcourt Lane, Sonichu is all set to tell Rosechu some not-so-good news until he is completely mesmerized by the sight of her cameltoe while she's doing laundry. When he regains his bearings, he wastes fifteen minutes of his wife's time ranting about how those homos have been saying that he's a homosexual icon, going into a tard rage and wrecking the shit out of his own house, though we only see him smack what is maybe a potted plant (the rest of his outburst is conveyed through sound effects). Rosey tries to look like she gives a shit as her sweet-bolt blathers on and on, and then offers to fuck him right in the middle of the laundry room, because that's what loving wives do. Sonichu figures this is okay since their kids are next door, but thankfully, they're cockblocked by an attack on CWCville by the PVCC and Mary Lee Walsh.
Mayor Allison Amber gets the call and sends the "Full Police" and Power Rangers to fight the PVCC. Chris's stupid Transformers ripoffs go instead. Meanwhile, Punchy is beating up some random Jerkops as Layla stands around looking worried because she's a woman. She's attacked from behind by a female Jerkop Janekop and shocks her with Thunder. Punchy is somehow hurt. Prower arrives and Punchy sends him to "intercept and takedown".
Meanwhile, Simonla is in some random forest when a bunch of Jerkops ambush her. Suddenly, Wild appears from fucking nowhere and shoots vines at the Jerkops, tying them up while Simonla does absolutely nothing but try to look menacing. She fails. The Jerkops are polite enough to stand perfectly still as Wild carefully ties them all up and body slams them all, sweating profusely.
We are then shown how Angelica and Reginald Sneasel are faring. Reginald beats the crap out of stuff (while bending his wrists at an ungodly angle) while Angelica destroys some planes with her Wing Attack. She then proceeds to curb stomp the wreckage. Chris uses the same shade of blue on Reginald as he does with the background, making one of the few times he actually colors in his background even worse than his usual laziness.
Blake and Bubbles are then shown holding hands on some beach as Jerkops close in on them. They do something retarded and form a giant electrically-charged tidal wave (though Chris being Chris, he fills the wave in entirely with blue before remember to add yellow for the lightning, just causing the whole thing to look green and unpleasant) that flips all the Jerkops' cars over. Naturally, they never once release each other's hands because TWOO WUV CONQUERS ALL. They find themselves surrounded by a group of S.A.V.s (lead by one wearing Starscream's crown) and Blake, showing a moment of "I can do this without you simpering over me", tears apart the entire team by himself before going back to making out with Bubbles. He clarifies that the mechs are "pilot free", just in case you cared whether or not he was killing people.
We turn our attention back to Sonichu and Rosechu preparing to enter the battle (with Bumba-Lumba being an ineffectual idiot, on his side in the middle of the road!). The two enter the battle, kicking ass, with Rosechu using some sort of odd, lightning bolt-shaped... weapon-thing.
At the CWCville Mall/Mayor's Office, Patti-chan keeps the Jerkops away from the building with a barrier of some sort, as Zapina, Darkbind Sonichu, Jamsta, and Lolisa fight Jerkops. Jamsta and Lolisa don't use any kind of special powers, possibly because they don't have any. Over the skies of CWCville, Magi-Chan crashes a Crackder into a nearby body of water, only to be struck by Silvana. The two claim to have met before, but it's brushed aside as Magi-chan tried to woo Silvana to his side, claiming to restore her to her true gender (since Count Graduon had "gifted" her with a penis). Silvana refers to Graduon as "Papa" as she tells him off and the two prepare to fight.
Elsewhere, Wes-li Sonichu tells Mary Lee Walsh that they can't break through and that the "True Police" and "Outter Forces" have been holding the Jerkops back. Mary Lee says that she'll have to dodge their forces, but she'll be able to take down the barrier.
BACK AT SONICHU AND ROSECHU'S BATTLE, Sonichu's realizing that he's starting to wear down buzzing through Decepticlones when Chris' Sonichumobile appears. He, then, transforms into Son-Chu and orders the rest of the Autobots to transform. They do and begin the attack and accidentally goop Sonichu in muck. Then a Punislav captures Rosechu, forcing her to call out to Sonichu who goes to rescue her (thus ruining timmy1984's entire video saga!). This fight contains the first mention of the idea of "un-brainwashing" the Jerkops (who are all slow in the minds who have been shot with hypnosis guns, apparently).
Elsewhere, a fire breaks out in a building and in one of the rooms, a person tosses out two Pokeballs, revealing Chloe Rosechu and BlazeBob Sonichu... just mere moments before the building explodes. A headband lands on the ground, revealing that their Trainer was none other than PandaHalo. (A "memorial" then appears under it.) This marks the second time Chris has immortalized a Gal-pal by recreating her horrible, painful death in comic form. From Chris's bizarre point of view, this is apparently the best way to remember someone: by focusing entirely on what killed them and not at all on their life or personality. Fire brigade arrives, and the team leader chastises Chloe and BlazeBob for not doing the damn work they were appointed to do (it's possible that this brave fireman was unable to tell Chris that he's been slacking off in his mayoral duties, so he hopes bullying his underlings will get the message across), and the hearts of the two lovehogs are instantly 100% repaired when they realize what they have to do. They decide to go fight the Decepticlones who destroyed the house, while the firemen proceed to "save lives". (Wait, PandaHalo could be alive after all? Like Chris, Chloe and BlazeBob are not into the whole "I won't believe she's dead until I see her charred corpse with my own eyes" thing.)
Meanwhile, Sonichu chases down the Punislav that kidnapped Rosechu. The Punislav fires... something (it looks like missiles, but at the same time, it could also be a hail of Hot Tamales candy) at Sonichu. He dodges, apparently leaps on to the Punislav's head (with a billboard with an odd picture of Chris on it, a message begging him to come back from Allison, in the background) and rips the head off the machine, the robot proclaiming OW! MY AXELS!. As Sonichu wonders if Seth MacFarlane used Christian's joke in "Road to Germany" (where Peter accidentally steps into a time machine while looking for the bathroom, and nothing beyond that), he hears Rosechu's cry again and continues on.
(There's also a message from CWC demanding that timmy1984 update his videos to be just like that.)
As he does, he's pinged by Magi-Chan, who conveniently tells him where Rosechu is and who's waiting for him. As he does, he's struck by an Earthquake attack and ends up encountering IBAChandler, who seeks to take away credit from the other Electric Hedgehogs. IBA attacks with Rock Throw, but Sonichu counters with Iron Tail, destroying his medallion and apparently giving him a gash across his chest. Likely because of the reaction to the gun comic, Chris makes a point of having Sonichu call for medical assistance to take care of the freshly injured IBA, instead of pulling out a gun and shooting the unarmed man in the kneecaps. Before the medics can take him away, grass grows out of the ground and pulls him to safety. The medics call them "Devil Trolls".
Meanwhile, Sonichu arrives where Rosechu is, unconscious (actually ASLEEP, since there are Z's coming from her) and in the grips of the Punislav. In front of him are Eggman, Reldnahc and Giovanni, who promise her safety if Sonichu listens to their demands. The demands are simple: pledge undying loyalty to Giovanni and make Reldnahc the mayor of CWCVille (probably a callback to Bluespike forcing Chris to make BILLY MAYS mayor) or Rosechu dies. When Sonichu refuses, Giovanni makes Sonichu wonder what was more important - Rosechu or the city? Sadly, as Chris likes to have his cake and eat it, too, so does Sonichu as a basketball smashes into Giovanni and something cuts Rosechu free (and apparently hits in behind her knees as well!)
As Rosechu falls, Sonichu races and catches the ENTIRE HAND, slams it down and goes to Rosechu's side. As Rosechu comes to, Sonichu fucking text walls the entire past 5 pages before Rosechu shuts him up and asks who freed her. Their rescuers appear in the form of Bionic and Darkbind, who text wall about what they were doing before they had to save their sorry butts. Reldnahc comes to and gets revenge on Bionic by launching a Pokeball at Bionic, smacking him upside the head in revenge over his defeat back in issue 7 and releasing a Nidoking to defeat him. Nidoking charges at Bionic planning to crush him up against a tree before Sonichu kicks mud in the Pokemon's face with Mud Slap, blinding it. Bionic, then, proceeds to curbstomp it with some fighting moves, causing it to faint. Reldnahc recalls the fallen Pokemon and proceeds to utter some stupid phrase and fires a purple ball, a so-called Curse of Embarrassment, on Bionic, who catches it, spins it around and launches it back at Reldnahc, causing him to piss and shit on himself. His shit literally shoots out behind him, even though he's wearing pants. Apparently there's some kind of flap back there for easy access. Reldnahc teleports away in shame and Giovanni escapes in Robotnik's vehicle.
After a brief moment of finally finding out what happened between Magi-Chan and Silvana (Magi-Chan won using some odd attack, forcing Silvana to retreat as well), we come back to see Megagi cheering for Bionic (in a cheerleader's outfit, no less) before the gang is recalled back to the CWCVille Mall.
As Sonichu and Rosechu race back to the CWCVille Mall, passing by the laughable Kart Megazord, Magi-Chan gives the two a rundown of what's happened: the other Electric Hedgehog Pokemon have cleaned up most of the Jerkop invasion, with a number of them dying (the Jerkops, not the Pokemon); the Autobots have swept up the last of the Decepticlones and are having them shipped away for recycling; the CWC-Power Rangers used their Kart Megazord to defeat an enlarged B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic and return them to normal size; the police have taken a few casualties, the volunteers are exhausted and Mary Lee Walsh Slaweel is closing in on the mall. Even worse, there are two other casualties - Ivy and BILLY MAYS: Ivy was trapped in an elevator when its floor gave way and got her neck tangled in the wires. BILLY MAYS tried to break her fall, but when she got tangled he slipped and fell attempting to free her.
Let's have a recap on the deaths here: sweetheart PandaHalo is burnt to death, sweetheart Ivy is strangled and BILLY MAYS falls to his death several stories only to show up the next issue completely fine.
Back at the CWCVille Mall, Slaweel arrives and proceeds to destroy the barrier with a stupid spell. Sonichu stops her by taking away her broom. Slaweel falls, only to be saved by Graduon, who places a floor grid in the sky, then destroys the broom. Slaweel challenges Sonichu and the battle begins with Rosechu worried (or possibly needing to go to the bathroom). Slaweel strikes with her pitchfork, then fires a bunch of purple orbs, Sonichu dodging all of them. Sonichu counters with some sort of shot, knocking away her pitchfork, then proceeding to spin attack her. Slaweel raises up a barrier to block the attack, but Sonichu SOMEHOW shatters it with a Flash Kick (a la Guile), knocking Slaweel off the platform. She catches herself, but Graduon refuses to aid her and escapes. She slips and falls, only for Sonichu to save her at the last moment. Slaweel tires of the fight and has Graduon get her out of there, with the being vowing that Slaweel will die one day. At the mall, we find out that Rosechu saved Sonichu when he fell and she asks why he didn't kill her. Sonichu says that, as a hero, he couldn't let her die and that only Chris is allowed to land the final blow. With that, Sonichu declares that they need to clean up the city and get the children back to watch Mary Poppins and not mourn those who died.
In the Epilogue, we see Magi-Chan and Wild Sonichu finding the Time Void in which Chris was trapped. With Wild's help, Chris is pulled free. Fifteen minutes later, Sonichu bids farewell to Wild, telling him of what he needs to do. In the final page, Chris declares that this issue will be the last to feature himself and everything related to him for now on. This, of course, turns out to be untrue as Chris is featured prominently in Sonichu 10 and a later phone call with Alec Benson Leary shows Chris only intends to make "less appearances."
Improved version
External links