Difference between revisions of "Anne Boleyn"

Latest revision as of 21:06, 28 August 2024

“	And I do think I Am Entitled in a True, Valid Relationship with a woman very much like you, because I Need The Love, and not only that, but I Am Of Royalty in the Weston Bloodline.	”
Chris to Catherine, 14 December 2014^[1]

Chris's alleged progenitrix. Perhaps her bloodline resulting in Sonichu was why she was called a witch.

Anne Boleyn (written as Anne Bolyn by Chris,^[2] c.1501/1507–1536) was Queen of England and Ireland as the second wife of King Henry VIII. Chris claims to be a descendant of her from his mother's side of the family, via a certain Daniel Weston who was purportedly on the Mayflower.^[3] Chris cannot even spell "Boleyn".^[2] It is unknown whether or not Chris and Barb plan to produce evidence of their ancestry and topple the current royal House of Windsor.

What Chris and Barb probably want to do with their royal heritage.

History buffs may notice a problem with this; aside from the fact that Daniel Weston never even existed, Anne Boleyn had only one daughter: Queen Elizabeth I. It is impossible for Chris to be descended from her, or indeed for anybody to be; Elizabeth I was childless and was in fact famously known as the Virgin Queen; indeed, Chris's home state of Virginia is named in her honor. The only conceivable way would have been through an illegitimate child, who by definition could not be royalty. The closest authentic involvement that Chris has to the English royal house is through his remote ancestor Ludovico Bassano, who was Good Queen Bess's court musician.^[4]

A possible basis for this claim might derive from the alleged adultery between Anne Boleyn and Francis Weston (who shares Barbara's surname). (We need to look more into this).

Current evidence suggests that Barb gave Chris this idea, which seems likely as he's been rambling about his ancestry for years, even before his discovery by the Internet. In August 2005, he tried to impress a girl on MySpace with this "fact" because she was interested in royalty.^[5] This may have been this ridiculous notion's first outing, but it was not to be the last - as recently as 2014, in the Rental House Tour, Barb and Chris bored Catherine and Cousin Al to tears with a completely fictitious account of how the Westons are considered royalty to this day, and that she and Chris were "blood kin" to Queen Elizabeth I.

In late 2008, Chris deduced (or more likely decided) that he is descended from Mary Boleyn (Anne's sister),^[2] and from Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland (born 1577),^[6] and later Earls of Portland.^[7] Chris had looked up Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn on Wikipedia to find a link between them^[8] which fortifies the view that Chris and Barb made the whole thing up. There is admittedly a possibility that his family tree loops back on itself, but it's probably a good deal more recent than the Tudor period.

In May 2009, Chris also cited his ancestry as one of the reasons for Wikipedia to have an article on him.^[6] In the comics, Zapina is said to be studying at "Bolyn High",^[9] probably named in reference to Anne Boleyn.

In March 2022, a Redditor used Wikitree to establish that, although Chris is most likely not descended from Anne Boleyn, they do share common ancestors: Hugh and Isabel Bardolf (c. 1258 - 1323) gave birth to Thomas Bardolf (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, and Nicola Bardolf (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) in c. 1294. This means Anne Boleyn is Chris' 8th cousin, 11 times removed. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.^[10]^[11]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+{{quote|And I do think I Am Entitled in a True, Valid Relationship with a woman very much like you, because I Need The Love, and not only that, but I Am Of Royalty in the [[Daniel Weston|Weston]] Bloodline.|Chris to [[Catherine]], 14 December 2014<ref>[[Catherine E-mails]]</ref>}}
+[[Image:Anne boleyn.jpg|thumb|Chris's alleged progenitrix. Perhaps her bloodline resulting in [[Sonichu]] was why she was called [[Mary Lee Walsh|a witch]].]]
-== Headline text ==
+'''{{w|Anne Boleyn}}''' (written as '''Anne Bolyn''' by Chris,<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008"></ref> [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|c.1501/1507–1536]]) was Queen of [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|England and Ireland]] as the second wife of {{w|Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII}}. [[Chris]] claims to be a descendant of her from his [[Barbara|mother]]'s side of the family, via a certain [[Daniel Weston]] who was purportedly on the ''{{w|Mayflower}}''.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> Chris [[Chris and English|cannot even spell "Boleyn"]].<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008">[[IRC (22 December 2008)]], [[Mailbag 47#Begone]], [[MySpace messages#Jalena]]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Chris and Barb plan to produce evidence of their ancestry and topple the current royal {{w|House of Windsor}}.
-[[Image:Anne_boleyn.jpg|thumb|The ancestor of the man who gave birth to [[Sonichu]]?<br><br>Though, it would explain why she was [[Mary Lee Walsh|called a witch]].]]
+[[File:KingChris.png|thumb|What Chris and Barb probably want to do with their royal heritage.]]
-'''Anne Boleyn''' (died 1536) was Queen of England as the second wife of King Henry VIII. [[Chris]] claims to be a descendant of her from his [[Barbara|mother]]'s side of the family, via [[Daniel Weston]] who was on the Mayflower.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
+History buffs may notice a problem with this; aside from the fact that Daniel Weston never even existed, Anne Boleyn had only one daughter: {{w|Elizabeth I of England|Queen Elizabeth I}}. It is impossible for Chris to be descended from her, or indeed for anybody to be; Elizabeth I was childless and was in fact famously known as the [[virgin with rage|Virgin Queen]]; indeed, Chris's home state of [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia]] is named in her honor. The only conceivable way would have been through an illegitimate child, who by definition could not be royalty. The closest authentic involvement that Chris has to the English royal house is through his remote ancestor Ludovico Bassano, who was Good Queen Bess's court [[Chris and music|musician]].<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5552973 Genealogy of Christian Weston Chandler, released 6 November 2019]</ref>
-It is not known when or how Chris got this idea. In [[August 2005]], he tried to impress a girl on [[MySpace]] with this fact simply because she was interested in royalty.<ref>[[MySpace#Jalena]]</ref>
+A possible basis for this claim might derive from the alleged adultery between Anne Boleyn and {{w|Francis Weston}} (who shares Barbara's surname). (We need to look more into this).
-In late 2008, Chris deduced that he is also descended from Mary Boleyn (Anne's sister, not mother), the 1st Earl of Portland (Richard Weston, who was born later in 1577),<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009]]</ref> and later Earls of Portland.<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris had looked up Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn on [[Wikipedia]] to find a link between them.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> This fact strengthens the view that Chris made the whole thing up himself without being told by his mother. And although it is quite possible that his family tree loops back in on itself, it's [[Virginia|probably]] a good deal more recent than the Tudor period.
+Current evidence suggests that Barb gave Chris this idea, which seems likely as he's been rambling about his ancestry for years, even before his discovery by the Internet. In August [[2005]], he tried to impress a girl on [[MySpace]] with this "fact" because she was interested in royalty.<ref>[[MySpace messages#Jalena]]</ref> This may have been this ridiculous notion's first outing, but it was not to be the last - as recently as 2014, in the [[Rental House Tour]], Barb and Chris bored [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]] to tears with a completely fictitious account of how the Westons are considered royalty to this day, and that she and Chris were "blood kin" to Queen Elizabeth I.
-In [[May 2009]], Chris gave his ancestry as a reason for Wikipedia to have an article on him.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009]]</ref>
+In late [[2008]], Chris deduced (or more likely decided) that he is descended from {{w|Mary Boleyn}} (Anne's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]]),<ref name="IRC 22 December 2008"/> and from {{w|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland}}  (born 1577),<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009]]</ref> and later {{w|Earl of Portland|Earls of Portland}}.<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris had looked up Richard Weston and Mary Boleyn on [[Wikipedia]] to find a link between them<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> which fortifies the view that Chris and Barb [[List of Chris's lies|made the whole thing up]]. There is admittedly a possibility that his family tree loops back on itself, but it's [[Virginia|probably a good deal more recent than the Tudor period]].
-==Not possible==
-Aside from the fact that [[Daniel Weston]] did not exist, Anne Boleyn had only one daughter, Queen Elizabeth I. It is downright false that Chris is descended from her, because, like Chris, Elizabeth I was a famous [[virgin with rage]]. Here is an example of Chris's lackluster research:
-: <cogsdev> What countries in the world you would like to visit and why?
-: <ChrisChanSonichu> Japan; Anime and Videogames and culture.
-: <ChrisChanSonichu> England.
-: <ChrisChanSonichu> France
-: <ChrisChanSonichu> those two, because I'm part British, French and Cherokee; I'm a decendant from Anne Bolyn's Family; in relation to her being an aunt.
-: <ChrisChanSonichu> *mother of Queen Elizabeth I<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref>
-Luckily [[YouTube]] wasn't invented in the 16th century, nor was Queen Elizabeth known to sit around the [[Fashion Square Mall|Smithfield Market]] with [[Attraction Sign|idiotic signs]].
-On the other hand, Elizabeth ''was'' a perpetual virgin (officially, anyway; rage status unknown), and one of her alleged romances was with a man who ended up committing high treason, which is not dissimilar to 16th-century trolling. This makes it slightly more plausible for Chris to be a relative of Her Majesty.
-On the ''other'' other hand, Liz was pretty good at [[CWCville|politics]], supposedly quite attractive, [[Chris and fashion|well-dressed]], and very good at manipulating her public image. Unlike Chris.
-It is, however, quite likely that he's descended from Anne's sister Mary, simply because she lived so damn long ago. Most people who have any ancestry in Western Europe are also descended from her, so really, it means nothing.
-In 2007, the movie network Showtime started airing a historical period series entitled ''The Tudors.''  The first two seasons of this series revolved around Henry VIII's relationship with Anne Boleyn (played by actors Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Natalie Dormer, respectively).  The series finished it's four-season run in 2010.  However, knowing Chris as the "sly fox" he is, he probably saw Dormer's portrayal of Boleyn, and had the same feelings that he did when he took his mother to the prom.
+In [[May 2009]], Chris also cited his ancestry as one of the reasons for [[Wikipedia]] to have an article on him.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], [[Zapina]] is said to be studying at "Bolyn High",<ref>''[[Sonichu 9]]'', [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_2 p. 2].</ref> probably named in reference to Anne Boleyn.
+In [[March 2022]], a Redditor used Wikitree to establish that, although Chris is most likely not ''descended'' from Anne Boleyn, they do share common ancestors: [[Hugh and Isabel Bardolf]] (c. 1258 - 1323) gave birth to Thomas Bardolf (Boleyn's 6th great-grandfather) in 1282, and Nicola Bardolf (Chris' 18th great-grandmother) in c. 1294. This means Anne Boleyn is Chris' 8th cousin, 11 times removed. This is hardly surprising, as all humans are relatives of each other of varying distance.<ref>https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/tedhwz/barb_may_not_have_been_related_to_anne_boleyn_but/</ref><ref>https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Aguillon-5</ref>
+==References==
+<references/>
 ==See also==
@@ Line 39: / Line 24: @@
 *[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
 *[[Chandler Family Tree]]
-==Sauces==
-<references />
 {{People}}
+{{DEFAULTSORT:Boleyn, Anne}}
 [[Category:People]]
 [[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
 [[Category:Dead]]

Difference between revisions of "Anne Boleyn"

Latest revision as of 21:06, 28 August 2024

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