Anna McLerran

Never trust a Mormon.

Anna McLerran (born 30 July 1985) is a gal pal and white knight who met Chris through her job at the Pac Sun in the Charlottesville Fashion Square. Chris was brought to her attention when, during the Love Quest era, he started advertising himself in front of the store. This inspired her short story The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer, published early in 2005.

After publishing the story she befriended Chris and he threw her a surprise birthday party. Chris made romantic advances towards her until she told him she was a Mormon and a lesbian, even before coming out to family, in order to rebuff his advances. Chris refers to her as proof that he can be friends with homosexuals.

Most people who observe Chris intensely dislike Anna, as she is not seen to be a genuine friend to Chris; sometimes even equated with Barb in terms of making Chris worse, because like Barb, she has (or at least has had in the past) considerable influence over Chris, but seldom uses it to help him improve his life. Chris's observers note that the first time Chris ran afoul of the law, she made a joke about him getting raped in prison on Facebook, not exactly what friends say in these situations. Moreover, after his house burned down, while even the denizens of the CWCki Forums were putting together a care package for Chris, Anna was nowhere to be seen - until she popped up on one of Chris's Facebook statuses to discuss irrelevant drama, and was promptly called out for not even pretending to care that her "friend's" house had burned to the ground.

It should also be noted that Anna was initially a troll of sorts, sharing her interactions with Chris on the CWCki Forums, at one point hosting a conference call with leading trolls wherein she primarily talked about herself, and seemingly only turned to counter-trolling when she didn't get the adoration she'd anticipated from the trolling community. Despite her apparent apathy to Chris or his problems (beyond the trolls of course), Anna is also known to lash out at people who threaten her privileged position by befriending Chris, including Kim Wilson, a long-time friend of Chris's that he knows IRL, whom Anna tried to falsely out as a troll.

In short, most believe Anna is an attention-seeker who pretends to be Chris's friend for her own benefit, tries to function as his gatekeeper to give herself some illusion of power, and (nowadays, at least) only occasionally involves herself in his affairs for a fresh fix of attention, and by all accounts, she only associates with Chris in order to feel better about her own insecurities, that way she can say at least someone is worse off than she is.

Even Chris doesn't seem to deem her to be a friend anymore - as of 2015, he has been pining for the return of his gal-pals because he has no friends or social life, with no mention of Anna.

Protection of Chris

After Christian discovered The Crazy Pacer story on Encyclopedia Dramatica, Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of white knighting, she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a goofy clown, rather than a perverse psychotic.

“	I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of humor. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.	”
Note from Anniebannany

This passage was so masturbatory that ED users assumed Chris himself wrote it, and it was credited accordingly. However, in December 2009, Anna admitted to writing the article section herself. It is unknown why she had actually befriended him, but according to her, her intentions were pure.

“	C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.	”
Anna (clearly delusional)

On the night of 5 December 2009, Anna complained about socialite Nicole Ritchie having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against faux-punk guitarist Benji Madden. Anna, self-appointed guardian of Chris, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(", ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he exhibits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticize the CWCki and other sources of the truth about Chris, claiming that "there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. super nice." This is all very amusing when you consider her initial reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"

In April 2012, after Chris's Facebook status about his claims to losing his virginity became public, Anna (using the name Fighta Jet Lopez) lashed out against trolls, and tried to offer Chris advice about befriending people online that he didn't know in real life.

Needless to say, Anna isn't popular amongst the troll community, since she not only remains a staunch defender of Chris' antics, but is also pretty delusional, especially when the evidence of Chris' own mental instability is practically hitting her right in the face. Like Christian's parents, Anna is an enabler, albeit an indirect one, who opts to tell Chris what he wants to hear instead of what he should hear. For example, in a response to Chris's complaining about fan-made My Little Pony videos on his Facebook page on June 26th, 2012, she had this to say:

“	"I'm still amazed at how so many people think they can justify baiting and trolling an autistic man by calling him naive or saying he deserves it for _____. There is nothing you could do, Christian, that would make you deserve ANY of this treatment."	”
Anna. Again, clearly delusional.

If you need any more proof about this mollycoddling, delusional behavior, however, consider a certain post Chris made on his Facebook page, which struck a nerve with Anna because of its blatant anti-homosexual tones. Despite both Anna and Kim - usually staunch rivals - calling him out on it, he brushed them both off, not even offering Anna, herself a homosexual, an apology for his behavior in the thread.

Despite this, what did Anna say mere weeks later?

“	"Just rewatched your DVD with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a remarkable injustice these people have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, you do not deserve an ounce of hate. You're an incredible person with incredible creativity and talent, and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish more people knew the real you instead of this strange monster the internet thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. I love you, and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more allies than you think."	”
Anna. Do we really need to say it again?

Keep in mind that this comes on the heels of not just a homophobic post he made, but a leak where he demanded that somebody murder Mimms' girlfriend. It is very apparent that when it comes to white knight attitudes, Anna sits as queen, blissfully ignoring Chris' obvious problems and cheering him on, possibly until the day she dies.

Ironically, despite her encouragement, she has shown a severe dislike towards fellow Facebook white knight Kim Wilson, suspecting her of being a troll. This is probably because although Kim also tries to improve Chris, she actually gives constructive and often harsh criticism rather than just confirming his ridiculous ideas and telling him what he wants to hear. Even more ironically, despite being one of Chris' most outspoken and staunch defenders online, Anna neither commented on nor showed any signs of helping Chris out when his house burned down, which ultimately means that his trolls have been more active in getting him back on his feet that his defenders. Make of that what you will.

Twitter ramblings about Chris

Following Anna's Facebook responses to Chris's loss of virginity, she saw an influx of trolls trying to befriend her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter. Despite voicing her hostility to the people who were following her only because they were trolling Chris, she continued to talk about him and them. Anna has since set her Twitter to private.

Text	Day	Time
I'm fed up with the way people have treated my friend over the years. He doesn't deserve the hand life dealt him, and it's stopping now.	12 April 2012	10:37 PM
dear fat, ugly manchildren constantly trying to add me on facebook to screencap my interactions with christian: you are all getting blocked.	13 April 2012	9:23 PM
and a special fuck you to any of you cunts who follow me on twitter purely in case i say something about chris.	13 April 2012	9:24 PM
so much negativity...some people need to go live their own lives! well actually, everyone needs to. ha	15 April 2012	12:10 AM
tell me, basement dwellers, what are you hoping to accomplish with this? i'm a bit too evolved to take your bait. get a life, please.	15 April 2012	1:45 PM

Chris dons the armour

On 5 May 2012 Chris and Anna reversed roles when he posted a Facebook note in which he played the part of the white knight:

“	She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. [...] Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my mom at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a friend. Aim your shit towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.	”
Chris

Chris has stood up for Anna in the past as well. On 14 March 2010 he wrote a blog post on the CWCipedia asking the CWCki's webmaster to remove from her website all mentions of Anna's name (and of the names of several other acquaintances of his) in the same way all mentions of The Wallflower's real name were removed from the CWCki.

Disagreements with Chris

On 28 March 2013, Chris posted the following to his Facebook account, complaining about media coverage of the historic Hollingsworth v. Perry Supreme Court deliberations:

“	Another thing that really Grinds My Gears: I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!	”
Chris on Facebook, 28 March 2013

To widespread surprise, Anna defied her usual pattern of being a mindless enabler to inform Chris that his logic was a bit slow in the mind, in a change of the status quo that suggested Chris' antics were beginning to alienate even his staunchest defenders:

“	it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays	”
Anna, beginning to tire of Chris' nonsense

The next day, Chris responded:

“	Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?	”
Chris, not making any sense whatsoever

As seen above, Chris's reply was nothing but an incoherent red herring, completely side-stepping the original question of why it was right for lesbians to marry and not right for gay men to. The real answer, of course, is because, to Chris, gay men are disgusting and lesbians are hot.

Anti-troll plea to Catie

On 18 December 2014, it was leaked on the CWCki Forums that Anna desperately tried to stop Catie from continuing her relationship with Chris, as Anna suspected (correctly) that Catie was a troll posing as a boyfriend-free girl. Unfortunately for Anna, Chris had met Catie at that point and was completely infatuated - Anna was fighting a losing battle. This incident does however reveal that Anna is still at least peripherally involved in Chris' life, despite the apparent silence since their spat over gay marriage.

Her last-ditch attempt to dislodge Catie was an attempted appeal to Catie's humanity:

You really need to leave Christian alone. It's so painfully obvious to anyone on the outside that you have a fake profile specifically designed to troll him. Just about every paragraph holds a clue against you. The fake license was a pathetic effort, but one you knew would work well enough on someone naive. Too bad you used the wrong font, didn't match the background color, made your fake signature longer than the signature box would allow, and forgot to put the second signature over the picture. I don't care what you're hoping to get out of this--whether you want to troll him to do something funny, or simply get him to trust you to ultimately help him. You are doing far more damage than you think. You're messing with an autistic man who simply won't see the truth because he wants the lie so badly. And that's sick. You're not just messing with him, though--you're messing with his mom, and you're messing with me. Whatever your opinion of his mom is, it doesn't give you the right to break her heart either. She doesn't deserve to be given false hope that maybe her son HAS found a soul mate and WILL be taken care of after she's gone. Because that's her greatest fear, and you're playing on it like a predator. So just stop. I know you're probably pretending to be upset with him right now so that you'll get him desperate enough to do whatever you tell him. It's obscene. Let it go, walk away. Delete the fake accounts, and never do anything like this again.

That Anna would make these criticisms of Catherine is highly ironic. Anna chastises Catherine for playing to Chris's self-harmful delusions, even if she's doing it to help him - the very delusions Anna has been callously nurturing for years, believing she was doing it to help him.

The overall point of her message to Catherine illustrates that her pontifical attitude towards Chris has undergone no change as it has coursed through the river of time. It's possible that Chris's recent announcements regarding LGBT affairs have coerced her to forgive him for his unflinching homophobia.

Gallery

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  A seemingly innocent party...

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  ...with cards...

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  ...the close company of friends...

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  ...cake...

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  ...(too hard to tell)...

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  ...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.

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  One of these people is more awkward than the others.

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  Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.

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  "Modest Manna", a Mormon My Little Pony based on Anna.

References

    People