Chris and religion

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“	I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.	”
Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani?! (Facebook, 2013)

“	So, I dare say with all due respect to the Lord: meh.	”
Chris abandons the Christian God for Hyperdimension Neptunia goddesses

The real reason Chris initially abandoned Christianity.

Chris's version of The Last Supper. He colored Jesus last because "he liked to serve others before serving himself." Note that Judas is depicted as the sole niggo.

Religion is the belief in the existence of a supernatural realm and the worship of one or more gods and goddesses. Christian Weston Chandler's religious beliefs have long been a matter of debate. For most of his life, Chris would declare himself to be Christian, but his stated religious convictions would often diverge starkly from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil, incorporating a grab bag of other beliefs from unrelated traditions and other sources. Moreover, Chris has long believed himself to be of unique spiritual importance, believing that he has received multiple visions from God and that he has magical powers. Already in his comics, his characters would regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions. Chris finally gave up on Christianity and started following the CPU goddesses from Hyperdimension Neptunia on 17 December 2017.

Since then, under influence by the Idea Guys and others, Chris has come to believe that he is a goddess, CPU Blue Heart, orchestrating an apocalypse that will end in a heavenly new creation. Much of his mythology was lifted from the Hyperdimension Neptunia anime. After being arrested for incest with his mother and spending time in jail with few distractions besides the Bible, he has come to believe that he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ on top of everything else. The result, which he now calls Neo Spiritual Christianity, is an unholy amalgam of authentic religious traditions (Christian and otherwise), troll forgeries and narcissism, mixed together with neither forethought nor consistency. Chris believes this to be an upgrade to the previous teachings of Jesus, as he believes he is Jesus and can update Christianity if he so chooses.

With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. Chris long espoused traditional Christian teachings condemning homosexuality while ignoring that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography and gluttony. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that PandaHalo had been raped and impregnated by Clyde Cash: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion. Chris's narrow view of the world requires that Sonichu and Rosechu in the comics, and his true and loyal fanbase in the real world, share his religious beliefs. He has demanded that watchers worship him, and believes it feasible that he could convince half of the world population to join his personality cult.

Delusions of Godhood

See also: Messiah complex

“	Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.	”
Sonichu, Sonichu #10

“	I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?	”
Aspie Sonichu, Sonichu #10

Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.

All hail Christian Weston Chandler, God-Emperor Mayor of CWCville.

Beyond his self-infatuation visible from any of Chris's creative output, Chris had shown from an early period the nascent belief that he might have been specially chosen. Chris might have developed a God complex as early as 2000, as the halo floating over his head on the cover of Christian's Favorite Hits! seems to indicate. In his e-mails to Reggie Fils-Aimé he seems to call himself Jesus: "You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save." However, this could also be a malapropism for "Word of God." More definite signs first emerged in late 2009, and have accreted over the decade since into Chris's current apotheosis.

Starting on page 42 of issue #10, Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. Ultra Sonichu frees Zelina Rosechu from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to Darkbind Sonichu with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of Asperchu, where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their Asperger syndrome (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, Sonichu was born to a virgin.

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, Sonichu says this.

“	In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.	”
Sonichu, Sonichu #7

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in later pages Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against [Chris]", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, like he's God or something. In addition, only five pages later Angelica condemns those who prefer Alec's artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the Mailbag, where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans. The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a God's bear. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

Chris's God complex has peaked with him believing he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Why God would ever decide that His son should return in the form of a fat manchild we will never know.

“	as a Goddess Mysef[sic], I am unable to worship in churches	”
Chris, June 2019

It was under the Idea Guys's manipulation that Chris's gathering apotheosis came to a head.

Chris depicting how he came to share his body with a video game goddess.

In November 2017, Chris became obsessed with Hyperdimension Neptunia, a video game/anime series. He declared a belief in body-sharing with a goddess character (who represents the Sega Dreamcast in the series) by consulting with Magi-Chan, then leaving his Dreamcast console powered on for 24 hours in order to focus his own psychic power onto it and pull the goddess into his body. Since then, Chris has come to believe that he's actually a goddess to the Sonichu universe, leading to the creation of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu.

“	The Qur’an is to the Bible as Family Guy is to the Simpsons.	”
Chris,16 November 2021

As of December 2021, Chris is in jail awaiting his incest trial. His letters from jail offer insight into his current beliefs. Upon booking, Chris was given a Bible and eventually allowed to purchase various other supplies from the commissary using fan donations. Among other items, these include two Turkish prayer rugs which Chris uses for warmth and for playing Solitaire on. Kengle attempted to send him a Quran in an attempt to convert Chris to Islam, but it was rejected by the jail and Chris bought one from the commissary. He described it as "literally all over the place" and stated that Muslims are indirectly praying to Barb, as Allah was formed from a piece of her.

Despite spending nearly all his time alone in a jail cell, Chris claims to meditate 24/7/365+1 and have full access to the Akashic Records and that he can see into the past and future. He is able to visit alternate dimensions where all his cartoon characters live and he is accompanied by Magi-chan and Mewtwo, among others. Chris has been documenting his time in jail in his Goddess log. It contains insights from the Akashic Guardian but also a list of names and addresses of everyone who has written to him. Chris plans to release this after the Dimensional Merge, likely doxing a lot of people.

Holy Label sent to a Youtuber, bearing the NSC symbol.

From his jail cell, Chris passes judgement on various people from his life and decides whether they have passed their Divine Test. Kengle passed. Bella definitely failed by making the Incest call public. Dillin Thomas failed by confirming that Chris had said that he had sex with his mom. Null failed and is Chris's version of Judas. Chris feels betrayed by Null because Null tattled on him for breaking his EPO by stealing $750 from Barb, which Chris claims to have paid back. Ironically, Null is now selling silver coins bearing Chris's likeness.

An artist's interpretation.

Chris is producing various holy items which he mails to people who write him respectful letters. These are made from his trash. One is a Neo Spiritual Christianity token, of uncertain purpose, made from the bottom of a styrofoam cup. In other letters, he has included blessed bottle labels from Fanta and Coca Cola bottles. These bear Chris's very long signature and his NSC logo, which is composed of a standby symbol, combined with a Christian cross, a blue heart, and Sonichu's lightning bolts. The recipients are told to laminate these labels and wrap them around 20oz bottles for use with water and non-alcoholic beverages. They may laminate photocopies of their label for their spouse and children.

Some of Chris's letters have included apocalyptic prophecies, some of which he says are already happening. Neurotypical individuals will suddenly speak multiple languages, including ancient ones, and shall download into their brains massive amounts of knowledge from the Akashic Records. Their brains will overload and burn with fatigue, and they will appear to be schizophrenic. If you encounter one of these individuals, you should not interrupt them. Animals will speak, and humanoid animals will appear. For the record, apocalyptic prophecies usually are not accurate.

Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu

TSSSF card dedicated to his loyal devotees.

Chris had some divine revelations, which he shared on 2 November 2019 in a series of tweets, these revelations are as follows:

• He is the godess of the Sonichu/Rosechu species, and is of a higher deity level than a CPU.
• His powers are more apparent and potent in C-197, but do exist in 1218.
• The terms "CWCans" and "CWCanism" does not feel or sound fitting for his religion.
• FoCCS and FoCWCS do not sound appealing, either.
• Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu (DoCCS) is chosen. Pronounced dox, like Chris's favorite pasttime.

And thus, Chris's true and honest religion, DoCCS, was born.

The DoCCS all share kindness and loyalty, which is a defining figure of a devotee. They also pray to Chris, and channel energy to him so that he can use his godess powers. Chris Sonichu has noted that it's far easier for him Chris to answer prayer in C-197, due to his additional power that he has access to in his Chris Chan Sonichu body.

Chris can also store this energy in magic stones, and often wears these around his neck with the Sonichu medallion. Chris used one of these stones to demonstrate his power, even in 1218, by dropping it with as little movement as possible, which, when scaled up to C-197 proportions would equate to miraculous healing. Chris thinks that the crystals contain healing power and that they can make you happy.

The First holy temple of DoCCS

The illustrious temple of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu

In late 2019, the First holy temple of DoCCS was consecrated. The temple has been a central in-between in traversing between this dimension (1218) and it's sister dimension (C-197). The whole property, including the gazebo and sheds have travelled back and forth from 1218 to C-197 many times. Unlike most temples, almost no DoCCS congregate there to worship, and instead the temple acts as private residence to their deity, Chris.

Upon reaching level 40 in Pokemon GO, Chris was able to put the temple forward for an additional consecration ceremony from Niantic (the creators of Pokemon GO) to become the truest and honestest PokeStop of them all, which he did on 20 August 2020. However, despite numerous efforts to rally his devotees to help the nomination be accepted, his nomination was eventually denied.

The gazebo on the property contains magic power, and using deity level powers can be used as a vessel for a portal between the dimensions, and can transport items and even living things. Interestingly, in the TSSSF game, its card is a "Unicorn" card and can be in a relationship with Pony OCs, though this is probably due to Chris using the card game wrong, rather than him regarding his gazebo as a unicorn.

Doctrines of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu

Chris addresses a theological dispute.

Chris's convictions (not that kind) are a confused tangle, ever shifting as weens twist his malleable perception of reality and his mental state continues to deteriorate. The below seeks to describe Chris's contemporary beliefs as accurately as possible, though information is subject to change in light of new revelations at at any time. Chris has hesitated to describe his beliefs as a religion. On 13 April 2018, Chris claimed in a Twitter post that he no longer follows a religion, yet he is neither "atheist" nor "satanist", and over a year later would describe what follows as "a belief and faith system, not a religion".

Uzume Possession

Initially, sharing his body with a clone of the CPU Goddess Uzume Tennouboshi was critial to Chris's newfound religion. Naming the clone that resided within his body as "Orange Spiral Seal", Chris believed that he had "the powers of the four main Goddesses, as well as [his] own powers." In a way, this was a bizarre continuation of his classic Love Quest. Not only did he believe that he could create a new CPU Goddess From The Ground-Up, but that, with the CPU, he will bring Crystal into reality and create her as a CPU Goddess, saying that is something that GodJesus would never grant to him. Chris's religion has little in the way of ethics, but he has indicated that he believes in the Hindu concept of karma, administered by himself, as an instrument of his vengeance against the jerkops who tormented him in years past.

CPU Blue Heart

Main article: CPU Blue Heart

On 16 June 2018, CPU Blue Heart (also known as Scarlett Celestia) came upon Chris and gave him her powers, making him CPU Blue Heart, goddess of comma nation, the Commodore consoles, Cwcville and all Sonichus and Rosechus, and everything else. However, Chris only found out about this on the 3 August when his hubby Magi-chan told him. In the same way Chris had connected with his Dreamcast before, this time Chris connected with his Commodore 64 to obtain her memories and soul. This possession has helped Chris develop his psychic and electric super powers, and helped the merge become closer as C-197s characters became more tangible in 1218. He also started feeling more energy surges and electricity flowing in him. Chris also felt long, loud belches as a result of the possession, which were obvious indicators of the impending merge, Chris was being given a lot of responsibility for the merge when he became CPU Blue Heart. Chris also claims to be feeling heart attacks that he pulls himself back from, whilst these are obviously not heart attacks, they are certainly some sort of ongoing problem from Chris's health, and these delusions are preventing him from getting the help he needs.

Pantheon

Main article: Hyperdimension Neptunia

In August 2016, Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a goddess. Chris has long considered women to be good and men to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making Tomgirl Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle. During a conversation with Joshua Wise, Chris revealed that he had forsaken Christianity altogether, believing instead in the CPU Goddesses from the anime Hyperdimension Neptunia.

Chris's view of God's nature, is naïve and even childish. He has used the fandom jargon acronym OC as a rough CWC-ism synonym for god, and uses this broad category to include Christ, men respected but not worshipped in their own separate traditions like the Buddha, ancient pagan gods such as Zeus, the Neptunia CPU goddesses and other anime characters, himself and his viewers and lazy ponysonas. He is extremely syncretic, believing all of these, including the latter categories of clearly fictional characters intended and universally understood as such, to be real and divine. Monotheism, the cornerstone of Christendom that cannot be compromised, was apparently never assimilated into Chris's thought processes, allowing him to continue regard Christ as a god. He claims to converse with, and be friends with, Jesus and several other deities. Nonetheless, Chris does not worship literally everybody: in a 2019 Twitter post, he was alarmed by Jacob Sockness's apparent Satanism, saying that "no one should ever worship Satan."

Worship

As late as August 2017, Chris could be seen in a normal church, albeit irreverently wearing his unicorn cosplay. However, he has since stopped attending, believing that he is "unable to worship Jesus or any of the other deities" on virtue of being a goddess himself. In Believe in the OCs and Deities, Chris appeals to his viewers to send positive thoughts to fictional characters, as though through telepathy, perhaps indicating that he believes divine power requires worship and oblations. (Implicit in this is Chris's long-standing secular belief that he has hundreds of millions of earnest followers across the globe.)

On 22 December 2018, in a long rant on Twitter about the Merge (see the next section), Chris encouraged his audience to pray to him:

“	I encourage Everyone to Keep Faith, and Pray to the CPUs, y’all may pray to me as well.	”
Chris, blaspheming

He has made several such appeals in months since.

Afterlife and eschatology

Under the Idea Guys's lingering influence, Chris believes that departed souls go to C-197, the fictional universe that includes CWCville, other misbegotten OCs and various media franchises' universes, which he believes objectively exist. He teaches that, upon death, one may merge with one's Sonichu counterpart there. Among those who have been depicted in their Sonichu form on the other side include disastrous German chancellor Adolf Hitler, serial killer and rapist Ted Bundy and Chris's late father, Bob Chandler. Only the truly wicked, such as Liquid Chris, are denied this in the hereafter: Satan instead burns their bodies in 'hell's lava pool', purges them of their memories and sends their oblivious souls to be reincarnated.

Since the autumn of 2018, Chris has taught that we are living in the latter days. From a mixture of off-hand comments by comic artists and several weens foddering him with misinformation and dumb inside jokes, Chris thinks that beginning in November 2018, the real world (or 'Dimension 1218', as he calls it) is in the process of combining with C-197, in what he calls the Dimensional Merge. Chris has attributed miscellaneous events past and present, real and fictional, ranging from tragedies like the World Trade Centre's destruction to salad recalls, to the impending Merge. Originally projected to be complete before New Year's 2019, Chris maintains still that the Merge is just about the corner. Chris foretells massive destruction heralding the Merge that will result in the deaths of about half the world's population, as well as half of the fictional characters from C-197. Naturally, Chris, being the goddess in charge of managing this brouhaha, will be spared: everyone else must take their chances. Survivors will be able to enjoy the company of their favorite cartoon characters in the flesh, as well as their deceased relatives transformed into Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Mysticism and sorcery

Main article: Magical thinking

As early as 2003, Chris has invoked curses against his enemies: most famous is the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, borrowed from Dragonball Z, which he had employed against Mary Lee Walsh. His magical thinking has been directed in various ways, as when he thought he could shift his body fat about by watching hypnotic internet videos. In recent years, he has embraced several occultic teachings and practises from the New Age movement: out-of-body experiences, chakras and special powers associated with crystals, among others.

Chris and Christianity: Historical beliefs

“	And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.	”
Romans 1:28-32, on Chris

Program from Chris's baptism.

The first church Chris is known to have attended is Korean Canaan Presbyterian Church in Chesterfield County. Chris would later on attend Grace Baptist Church, a small congregation in Charlottesville that launched in July 2000. In 2008 he was, under mysterious circumstances, forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church. Although Chris traditionally identified himself as Methodist and so did his father, his mother identifies herself as a Presbyterian. In spite of this, however, Bob and Barbara were married in a Baptist church, suggesting that they were not very particular about the differences between Protestant denominations.

"Wesley Mem" is located near the University of Virginia and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among trolls is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of homos are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian (as suggested by his statement that Methodism and Presbyterianism "are both of Christian Religions").

Earlier notions of God

Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that Blanca is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the trolls' side.

God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy.

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus") as if they were some sort of Binity, a deviation from the mainstream Christian concept of the Trinity ("The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit") that his churches would regard as heretical.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the fact that Chris cheated in the PaRappa the Rapper contest is not nearly as important as the suspicion that Adam Stackhouse did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his world-view, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his infantile threats, and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the Ayatollah Khomeini, Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in visions. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a daughter, he decided he was required to actively make that happen while also assuring himself that failure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of racism for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that Blanca Weiss, then PandaHalo and finally Ivy were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be trolls. This proves that God, if He exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a laugh at his expense, an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

Concept of Emanuelle

Chris first uses the term Emanuelle in a Facebook post from August 2014, but it is not until a post from two years later ("Oh, for Goddess', Emanuelle's, Sake!") that he explicitly uses the name to refer to a female deity and not simply as a typo for "Emanuel", a Christian name for God. Chris probably got the idea of a goddess Emanuelle from one of the feminist or lesbian Facebook pages which he followed at the time, but he took it to be a literal female deity instead of a joke. Somehow Chris held on to this concept throughout the Idea Guy manipulations and incorporated it into his CPU goddess pantheon.

In his jail letters from 2021 Chris reverts to the Biblical spelling "Emanuel" (probably because that is the spelling he encounters in the Bible which he has been reading in jail) but continues to refer to the deity as female. Chris calls Emanuel "God above all other Gods and Goddesses" and claims that she encouraged him to fuck his mother, a claim which he also makes in the Incest call. In another letter Chris calls "Emanuel" his mother. Some took this to mean that Emanuelle was really Barbara, but Chris explained in a subsequent letter that "Emanuel and Barbara are two separate individuals and souls." In 2022 he further clarified that:

“

I have never ever said nor felt my mom, Barbara Anne Weston Chandler Rosechu, was a GOD of any sort, nor is she Emanuel, or even Virgin Mary reincarnated. If anything, Barbara is the reincarnation of Merlin the Magician. But Emanuel, GOD above Gods, Was my Father when I was born in Bethlehem over 2022 years ago. Emanuel had changed her gender to female in physicality and form over a century ago. Emanuel planted an ovum from her ovary into Barbara's ovary to attract me from my forward-and-back trip through Time after what happened with me in 1389 when the Universe was divided into my second physical birth on Febuary 24, 1982 into this immortal Body of mine; with that, Emanuel is my Mother. I still am Half-Sonichu, physically, due to my trip through the apex of the Chaotic Rainbow of 2003 between Sonichu Prime and Rosey Rosechu Prime. Remember Emanuel, herself, can change her physical form into ANY Creature, including a Sonichu form. Yet Arceus, the First, Main one, was manifested from a piece of her.

”

Afterlife

“	For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.	”
Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.

“	Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.	”
Chris.

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is a common one, most Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. Defying this, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions. He thinks that he will go to heaven because he's done "a lot of good deeds". Likewise, he feels that homos are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "better their chances of going to Heaven". He has also stated numerous times that he feels various trolls are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they commit suicide so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster. In Common Questions 9 Jan 2010, Thorg questioned Chris for threatening damnation against his Internet adversaries:

"You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?"

To which Chris responded:

“

Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", IT IS FACT. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".

”

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo." In reality, Limbo is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. Christian views on suicide and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied. His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the South Park episode "Death", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for Patti, he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]." This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

Reincarnation

When you're a headmaster, the possibilities are endless

Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept, but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from somewhere else.

Chris has suggested that he is himself a reincarnation of various people. In Sonichu, Chris's fictional counterpart is the reincarnation of the ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan, though he does not appear to believe this about himself in real life. However, during the epilogue of Sonichu Episode 26, Chris mentions a real-world dream in which he discovered he had been a (true and honest) lesbian hippie who attended Woodstock in a recent past life. He credits this dream with his realization that he is a "female soul" and decision to identify as a transsexual as opposed to a cross-dresser, further calling the psychological validity of his gender identity into question. Besides his own reincarnation, Chris's explanation of what happened to Liquid Chris in the Sonichu canon mentions Liquid's soul being cleared of all memory of previous incarnations before being reincarnated, as what Chris considers an ironic punishment for someone who dared impersonate him.

Chris believes that in other dimensions, people have the innate ability to swap bodies with others, even inanimate robots.

In a jail letter direct to Eels and the Eggman, Chris claims that as the Messiah, he can reincarnate or "Respawn" infinitely many times, and retain memory of all prior lives. He states in another letter that only a few people besides him have an inate ability to reincarnate.

Sin

“	But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...	”
Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44

“	I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL	”
Chris, Sonichu Girls Forum

“	HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!	”
E-mail from Chris to Vivian

Take note, Chris.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His hatred of the homos had nothing to do with the prohibition of sodomy in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from Family Guy. His aversion to "spilling his seed" and his dedication to the unborn have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion. Other than vehemently opposing homos, trolls and jerkops, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris believed that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true remorse and genuinely to atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made a video in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they[sic] have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with Vanessa Hudgens in violation of his monogamous relationship with Ivy, Chris made a big production out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits wrath, envy, gluttony, sloth, greed, lust and pride constantly.

Forgiveness

Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of forgiveness immediately prior to Rosechu brutally injuring and sexually assaulting Jason Kendrick Howell in vengeance for comparatively innocuous actions.

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has no idea of what forgiveness really is, and will often hold grudges against anybody he feels has wronged him, sometimes even for years. While some may argue that he did show forgiveness in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an ulterior motive or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

During his trial on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris scaring his customers away, (while he was still allowed in the store), shouting racist slurs at him, threatening to set fire to his business, and injuring him with his car. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit public slander in a court of law:

“	I don't think that thieving liar deserves a red cent!	”
Chris, This is how the Trial went

However, Chris has on occasion shown some capacity to genuinely forgive and move on, as shown at MAGfest where he was seen making up with Adam Stackhouse (albeit after 11 years). Such forgiveness has not been extended to the jerkops, however.

Apostasy

For years before the Idea Guys seized the opportunity to infuse patent absurdities into Chris's mind, Chris appeared to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the problem of evil in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus was backing him up on his Love Quest, God has nevertheless imparted upon him such stress and trolling. He seemed to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer was apparently like ordering a pizza: as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell letter meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on Facebook after a run in with a Jerkop:

God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a May 2013 letter to Kim:

Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?). I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect. But I prattle or digress. So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Soon thereafter, inspired by Futurama, he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

“	The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.	”
Chris on Facebook, August 2014.

Neo-Spiritual Christianity

Neo-Spiritual Christianity is Chris's self-proclaimed term for his peculiar set of beliefs concerning reality and faith, developed while confined in jail after being exposed to the Bible.

This new belief system combines aspects of Protestant Christianity with his preexisting beliefs originating in Theosophy, the New Age, superstition, and the Dimensional Merge.

Cosmology

Chris believes that he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ and that Barb is the reincarnation of Merlin the Magician. He believes that his Affair with Mother constitutes a "soul cleansing" operation designed to heal and purify her.

Justified by his belief that he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, Chris "upgrades" Christianity to Neo-Spiritual Christianity and created a new Ten Commandments that serve as a statement of secular humanist beliefs:

Updated Ten Commandments (Amendments) by Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu. October 14, 2021 *1- Thou may have and worship one or multiple Gods, Goddesses, and Demi-Gods, or even none at all; which ever best feels well and good with thee. *2- Thou may make for yourself an Idol that is safe and good and blessed; thou must not make for yourself an Idol that is harmful, toxic, or demonic to you or anyone else. *3- Thou must not misuse the name of the Lord your God, or any other God, Goddess, or Demi-God; "God Damn It" shall be most punishable as well. 4- Remember to observe the Sabbath day (Sunday) by keeping itHoly [sic]. 5- Honor thy father, mother, and any or all legal guardians who have helped greatly in your raising and support. *6- Thou must not murder, nor commit, or helpanother [sic] to commit, suicide, regardless of circumstances. *7- Adultry is okay, well, and good, as long as all involved are direct, open, and honest with each other; thou must not commit adultry in secret from thy partner(s). 8- Thou must not steal. *9- Thou must not testify falsely against thy neighbor, or anyone, nor testify without prior knowledge of the greater contexts and truths of the circumstances and details. 10- Thou must not covet thy neighbor's belongings.

The remainding cosmology of Neo-Spiritual Christianity syncretizes predominantly Christian beliefs with a belief in the Akashic Records originating in Theosophy, various New Age spiritual concepts, and his preexisting belief in the Dimensional Merge and alternative universes.

Chris and other faiths

Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an IRC chat, he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

Other Christian denominations

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, Angelica Rosechu, whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville – she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her species. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns – he refers to Catholic priests as "pastors" and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, although he probably has no idea what its relationship to Protestantism is.

PandaHalo's persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, deference to a cleric on ethical matters is far more typical for Catholics than Protestants). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Chris has described "Mormans" [sic] as not being datable. He has never explained why, but he may have learned through Anna McLerran that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

While it is not clear how much Chris knows about Unitarianism (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; Jackie identified herself as a Unitarian, and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and the relationship between Protestantism and other kinds of Christianity. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

Other religions

See also: Chris and race

Most of Chris's opinions towards non-Christian faiths have been culled from South Park and other television series. For example, on 28 December 2009, Chris wrote a blog entry telling Jack Thaddeus to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology". Following this comment, Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.

"A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story, and Sonichu 11" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching South Park. He appears to not understand that Jews and Buddhists don't celebrate Christmas, at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, Jews and Buddhists go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean, Chris uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from South Park) and states he is "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish; he incidentally subscribes to his father's view that Snyder, Megan Schroeder and others were secretly directing the trolls to ruin Chris's life. Some Favored Comedians is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like Jerry Seinfeld.

The Idea Guys were here. Chris was brainwashed into believing that Islam is the place to go to for exorcising lustful demons; mainly by someone shoving a medallion into Chris's ass while shouting "Allahu Ackbar!

In a CWCipedia article, he hints at a hatred of Islam. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian". Years later, in a letter from jail Chris responded to an apparent attempt to convert him to Islam by stating, "Allah is a good God, yes, but even he has his imperfection [sic], and concerns over his followers, and Nationality of Islam" and that "Islam contains a total population that includes around 40% of Toxic Haters, Fakers, and Sinners within it" (for comparison the base rate of "Toxics" in the global population is only about 18%). Chris's obsessive fan Kenneth Engelhardt is a Muslim convert; Chris tolerates his religious beliefs but has become annoyed with Kenneth's repeated attempts to convert him to Islam.

Besides using the popular Western image of the fat Buddha (actually a Chinese monk) and mentioning "Buddha" a few times, Chris has never shown any knowledge of traditional East Asian religions, let alone any opinion of them. Indeed, Vivian Gee's belief in Taoism seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.

New Age

The New Age is an umbrella term referring to a variety of new religious movements and alternative spiritual practices originating in the Western world during the 1960s, whose practitioners are referred to as New Agers. These practices include various forms of prayer and meditation conducted along a multitude of cosmologies combined with various pseudosciences such as astrology and alternative medicine. New Age beliefs often encourage magical thinking, which only serve to reenforce Chris's beliefs in his supposed divinity. Unlike most other religions, New Age worship does not typically occur in organized places of worship and instead takes place at home or within for-profit storefronts.

New Age worship practices frequently incorporate yoga and other exercise routines. Considering Chris's poor physical health and attitudes towards exercise, Chris will never do this. Period.

Chris has affirmed his belief in various forms of New Age practices in the past, all of which were syncretized with forms of Christianity and his own beliefs in the Dimensional Merge. Chris has performed tarot readings, believed in magic stones, and meditated in the hopes of achieving astral projection.

Theosophy

Theosophy is a minority religion founded in the 19th century. An adherent of Theosophy is known as a Theosophist and believers worship at Theosophical Societies. Members of Theosophy predominantly consist of converts to the faith, rather than family-based groups.

Chris has been influenced by Theosophy in his affirmation of the Akashic Records, mentioned in various jail letters to fans. Owing to the religion's denial of free will, the Akashic Records are believed to be a flawless compendium of all thoughts, actions, and words spoken by all human beings in the past, present, and future. Theosophists believe that they can access the Akashic Records to "heal past wounds, lift pain and past issues, and find a higher expression for [their] [lives]."

The origin of Chris's belief in the existence of the Akashic Records is unknown. However, Chris appears to incorporate every spiritual or supernatural concept (regardless of whether it is intended to be religious or purely fictional) he finds into a bizarre pantheon of spirituality.

Atheism

“	But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the Devil's spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the hace and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker, but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!	”
Chris, ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy

Chris's opinion of the irreligious is the most vacillating and incoherent, and incidentally one of the best documented. Unsurprisingly, he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." When Chris exposed Thorg, his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". In his Calling Out videos, Chris gave "pizza-faced atheist" as Thorg's defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Chris's half-brother Cole Smithey is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.

In the OkCupid answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, The Wallflower told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,, and as the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and continued to pursue her. However, in his later, revised OkCupid account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some hanky panky.

See also

• Angelica Rosechu
• Dreams
• Christmas
• GodBear
• Grace Baptist Church
• Jail Letter - 22 December 2021, in which Chris gives his "Updated Ten Commandments."
• Messiah complex
• The Binding of Isaac
• Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

External links

• Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here