August 2013 Facebook Posts

The following covers Chris's Facebook activity in August 2013.

New profile photo for the month.

Summary

• 5 August - Chris gushes about a high school Lego set and posts pictures of his design.
• 6 August - Chris posts a photo of dog piss.
• 7 August - Chris talks about how much he likes Equestria Girls and yearns for friendships.
• 7 August - William Elliott Waterman mocks the trolls.
• 17 August - Chris posts a riddle.
• 18 August - Chris posts a photo of his new shoes.
• 19 August - Chris posts a photo of his eyebrow for the trolls.
• 19 August - Chris feels like he's winning.
• 21-22 August - Chris's new friends receive gifts.
• 23 August - Chris posts a photo of his mother with her dog.
• 27 August - Chris is stressed out about losing friends.

Chris's Posts

LEGO High School

5 August 2013 The High School is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award". **Already-Thought Comments: -I am in Science/Biology/Math class. -My mom is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. -The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. -And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on YouTube). -And Venus and Mikey are having fun too.

Chris then posted:

Sorry; small error. It's "StoneBreakers10" on YouTube.

Mary McLerran then posted:

So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!

Heartlake High

6 August 2013 Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café. http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005

Anna then posted:

WANT

One of my pups just peed

6 August 2013 One of my pups just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a girl.

William Elliott Waterman commented:

Looks kind of like chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.

Actual friendships

On 7 August, Chris shared a link to the new Blu-Ray edition of Equestria Girls and made the following post:

7 August 2013 If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". |:( Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).

Top Movies List

7 August 2013 On that note, my top movies list is updated: 1. Mary Poppins 2. My Little Pony: Equestria Girls 3. Toy Story 4. The Adventures of the American Rabbit

Another Equestria Girls video

7 August 2013 I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)

Embarrassing

Chris provided a link to an Equestria Girls video called "Twilight montage of embarrassing" (since deleted) and commented:

7 August 2013 My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.

The Riddle

Chris posted some random pictures, starting with Mark Cuban. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a riddle - A very absurd riddle that only Chris understands.

17 August 2013 Cuban was born in Pittsburg; Pirates roam the seas with the Mayflower; there is a photo of Chris wearing a Pittsburg Pirates Cap Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies. Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team. Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister. Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes. Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx. Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall. Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette. Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to it, and posted on the CWCki Forums claiming that the answer of the riddle was the Pittsburgh Pirates, tying the photo of Cuban to the riddle. He would follow this post up on the 24th, angrily reaffirming the riddle's answer.

I got new shoes

Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his Tomgirl style.

18 August 2013 I got new shoes.

Matt Stufano commented:

awesome! very few things as good as a new pair of shoes-

One Eyebrow

Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.

19 August 2013

Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:

Cyclops?

Chris then posted:

Below is a "Friends Only" Post For da Trolls! (Singing) "One... Eyebrow".

Chris later deleted the post.

Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.

Breast Cancer Awareness

Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that his mother is a breast cancer survivor.

23 August 2013 My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

Chris then posted a photo of Snoopy and his mother.

23 August 2013 Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

New Profile Pic

On 27 August, Chris made a new profile photo.

Losing Friends

27 August 2013 Stress from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...

Notes from Chris's Friends

You're a real nice guy, Chris

On 3 August 2013, William posted:

I heard Anna's voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.

William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE

On 7 August 2013, after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually Anna McLerran's friends in the first place) posted a TL;DR whiteknighting open message to the trolls, claiming that he was no better than Chris (even though he had a job), calling the trolls no better than Chris, and daring the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him (as if anyone had an interest in confronting him anyway).

Hello, trolls. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto your archives and announcing it on your news feed, so I'll address you all directly in an open statement. You trolls get a lot of laughs out of the things Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. It's just sad. You're actually dedicating huge chunks of your daily lives stalking one lonely man on the internet. Seriously? This 'lolcow' was dried up years ago. You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him. It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a hypocritical basement-dwelling virgin that hates him just because he exists, or you're just doing it for the 'lulls'. If somehow you're married, have a job, and have everything Chris wants, you should feel even more disgusted in yourself for doing it because you have some perversion for taking advantage of someone less fortunate instead of having empathy and compassion for them. I used to be like you morons, wasting my days sitting on my butt listening to everything you say about him. But I grew up. I have a job and a life now, but that still doesn't make me any better than him. I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you, but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to grow up and stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor. He's not shallow and picky like you think. You think you all need to go on covert field missions and disguise yourselves as girlfriends to even talk to him. I never met him in person - I'm not even a female - and he friend requested me. All I did was respect him and treat him like a HUMAN BEING. Having a heart and humbly admitting that you're at the same level as him is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an attention whore, but feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't. You all got so lazy that you just copy and paste his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore. Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.

Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where Pokey Minch says the paragraph word for word.

Do you feel like your winning today?!?

On 19 August 2013, one of his new friends in Manchester High School posted:

Do you feel like your winning today?!?

Chris replied:

Because of good friendships, yes.

Another one of his new friends then posted:

That's right! WINNING!!!

Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today

On 21 August 2013, another one of his new friends in Manchester High School gushed:

Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !

Chris replied:

Wow! For First Class, that was fast.

Got your tunes!

On 22 August 2013, Matt from Manchester High School posted:

We both got your tunes! Badass!