Chandler Cats
| “ | I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more. | ” |
| Chris, regarding molesting his cats | ||
Chris and his family have had at least six cats over the years. Chris regularly slips in their shit. It is not known whether the Chandlers actually own the cats, or if the cats were unfortunate enough to get lost within the piles of junk and were therefore unable to find their way to the outside world. Pollo and Lucy are the only two of the cats confirmed to still be alive as of 2015. The status of the others is currently unknown, although at least one of them perished in the fire that destroyed the Chandler home in 2014. Chris got Pollo, the newest cat, in November of 2015.
Cats Currently Residing at 14 Branchland Court
Lucy
Lucy is a cat named after Lucille Ball, the other star of I Love Lucy. It is not known when she became a pet of the Chandlers, although it can be said for certain that she was a resident of 14 Branchland Court by 25 December 2004, as she appears in ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1.
Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with Sarah May, before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).[1]
Lucy was confirmed to be well and alive as of 2013, thanks to a status posted by Chris that included a current photo of Lucy in the great 2013 Facebook leak. Lucy survived the 2014 house fire along with Chris himself, Barb, and Clover and Snoopy.[2]
Chris posted a Facebook status on November 24, 2015 revealing Pollo, whom he introduces as a "new friend" for Lucy, confirming that she was still alive as of this date. This makes Lucy over ten years old, as well as the Chandlers' second longest-lasting known pet, after Patti. Lucy made an appearance in Chris's "Seasons Greetings" video on December 13, 2015. Many people pointed out the "please let me die" expression she appeared to have on her face. She sat in Chris's lap throughout the video, but hilariously got down the instant Chris asked her if she loved him. Unlike Kitty, Lucy appears to be rather docile while still showing her dislike of Chris.
Pollo
Pollo was introduced to the Chandler Household on November 24. Pollo [ˈpo.ʝo] is Spanish for "chicken", although it is also a shortening of "Apollo". Chris pronounces his name "pole oh." His existence was revealed to the world by Chris via a Facebook status, which also confirmed that, as of November 24, 2015, Lucy is still alive as well. Pollo was referred to in the status as "Lucy's new friend." Very little is known about Pollo at this time, though he appears to already be an adult. As the Rental House Tour audio showed us, Chris's dogs are very unfriendly around strangers, so only time will tell if Pollo ends up getting killed or not.
In the "Seasons Greetings" video, uploaded on December 13, 2015, Chris states that Pollo is an outside cat. This may prove to be unfortunate, as cats who are allowed outside statistically have shorter lifespans than those who strictly live indoors. However, given the conditions indoors, it's actually possible that he may defy such statistics and have a better chance at survival outside than in amongst the piles of junk, where he is constantly at risk of being crushed by falling objects or being torn apart by the unsocialised beagles.
Deceased and/or MIA Cats
Desi
Desi is a tabby named after Desi Arnaz (one of two cats named after the stars of I Love Lucy, one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). It is not known when he became a pet of the Chandlers, although it can be said for certain that he was a resident of 14 Branchland Court by 25 December 2004, as he appears in ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's future message. In a Facebook message sent on 30 January 2008, Chris mentions having five cats. If it is correct to assume that Chris owned no more cats than the five mentioned in this article, we can conclude Desi was still alive at the time. However, in an e-mail sent to Blanca on 19 August 2008, Chris mentions having only three cats. In an e-mail sent to Jackie on 10 April 2010, Chris gave the names of his three remaining cats,[3] with Desi not being among them. Based on this info, it can be inferred that Desi was no longer a part of Chris's household since as early as August 2008. It is not known whether Desi died, ran away or was given by the Chandler family to someone else.
Scamper
Scamper, or Scampers, is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper was a black and white coated cat. In ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 1, which was made on 25 December 2004, Chris mentions having two cats (Desi and Lucy). This suggests that Scamper was not yet a part of the Chandler household at that time. Clues from Sonichu #6 incidcate that she was most likely a pet of Chris by the time Patti's death (27 June 2006[4]). Episode 12.5 features an alternate reality in which Patti does not die on 27 June 2006. When Chris's character in the comics goes to feed Patti on that day, he encounters Scamper along the way.[5] It is not unlikely that this is a reflection of reality, meaning that Scampers was already in Chris's possession by the time Patti died. It can be said with even greater certainty that Scampers was already living at 14 Branchland Court by the time of July 2006, as Chris started making Sonichu #6 on that month.[6]
Very little info about her exists, except that, like Desi, she was not house-trained and shat everywhere. An email sent by Chris to Jackie confirms that Scampers was still living at 14 Branchland Court on 10 April 2010, along with Kitty and Lucy.[3] She showed up in Tour of Chris's House II. The precise date in which the video was made is not known. Chris's narration in the video suggest that Bob was already dead on the time, suggesting that the video was shot after Bob's passing at 6 September 2011.[7]
Either Scamper or Kitty was killed in the house fire in January 2014 and buried in the backyard. By this time, according to Chris, he owned only two cats, which indicates that the cat not killed in the fire was already MIA. Details are uncertain. She was no longer in the Chandlers' possession by late 2014.
Skittles
Skittles is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers and was approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looked like a half-dead lynx on crack.
Very little is known of Skittles or its gender, but given the name it can be assumed that it belonged to the Chandlers, as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character).
Based on the Jackie e-mails, they were presumed dead or missing in action by 2011.[3]
Kitty
Cat number 5. Kitty seems to be the cat no one really gave a shit about, evidenced by the fact that it was simply named "Kitty". In ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 1, which was made on 25 December 2004, Chris mentions having two cats (Desi and Lucy). This suggests that Kitty was not yet a part of the Chandler household at that time. According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of Patti, the Chandler dog.[3] Since Patti died on 27 June 2006,[4] this would mean that Kittty was already a pet of Chris for some time prior to that date. An email sent by Chris to Jackie confirms that Kitty was still living at 14 Branchland Court on 10 April 2010, along with Lucy and Scampers.[3]
Kitty made an appearance in Chris's tour of his house, and starred in the Captain's Log video of 20 December 2009, where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of things that hate Chris. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss at, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.
Either Scamper or Kitty was killed in the house fire in January 2014 and buried in the backyard. By this time, according to Chris, he owned only two cats, which indicates that the cat not killed in the fire was already MIA. Details are uncertain. She was no longer in the Chandlers' possession by late 2014.
Gallery
Kitty Chandler, so full of hate
Lucy and Desi
Lucy and Desi asleep in a pile of crap
Desi and Snorlax
Lucy.
Lucy with Chris in the "Seasons Greetings" video. Note her depressed expression.
Sources
See also
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