Megan Schroeder
Eventually, light a magical lighthouse that randomly shone its healing guiding light upon my previously Shattered Heart and tortured Soul, and mended them back to good shape and form, one girl walked into my life, like a Sailor Soldier having just vanquished a heart-snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed her shining lustrous hair, here shiny Blue Chaos Emerald-like Eyes, and a personality strong, caring and true like a Buttercup bloom. I followed my recovered heart's instincts and Followed Her. As I got to know her over the months to over a year, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for her. I blushed more Strawberry Pink than I have ever before; everything around me was shining like the sun's Mellow Color, Yellow. Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.[1]
Megan Schroeder (born 23 July 1986) was a friend, and maybe even what could be considered a true friend, of Christian Weston Chandler's, who appeared in the scene in 2005 and cut off contact with Chris around 2008.
A typical truly boyfriend-free girl, asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris-Chan was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her like for My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on eBay herself. Another thing to note is she also had a fondness for tracing Sonic templates and coloring them in as Pokémon. See her gallery. That she does this is almost as laughably childish and unoriginal as Sonichu. Almost.
Megan in real life
| “ | During the late summer months, I picked up and started the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and John Schroeder. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007. | ” |
| Chris on how he met Megan, from the DVD slideshow | ||
|
From: pearl3 Hello! Yes I did watch the musical and John and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal Sailormoon came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with Chibiusa. I love the first season of the anime. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. But of course the american version re-did all the music... Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that! Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though. Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say I hope you have a Merry Christmas and the holidays go well for you. |
And that was only the beginning...
John Schroeder
John is Megan's brother who Chris originally thought was her boyfriend. Not much is known about John, other than that he is overweight, shares similar interests with his sister and seemingly has an epicanthic fold, making him appear to be retarded. This would explain why Megan was able to put up with Chris's bullshit for so long, however emails seem to imply that John is of regular intelligence and Megan had confirmed that none of her family members are autistic. Like Megan, his current whereabouts are unknown.
John was also the subject for exploitation in John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue. This is one of the few instances that Chris has portrayed men in a positive light and also one of the few instances in which he hasn't made himself as the main character.
Megan Schroeder in the Comics
Megan (later retconned as Meg-chan) first appeared as Sailor Megtune in the fifth issue of Sonichu, along with Megagi La Skunk, her own Lesbian furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "sailor soldiers" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' Love Quest with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to blast off again. ...???
Another notable artifact of Meg's influence in CWC's comic is the sudden transition to a more animu style, most notably in the eyes but manifesting elsewhere.
In Issue 7 Megan was back, more notably as "Megan" and not Sailor Megtune. It is implied that like Chris can transform into Chris-Chan Sonichu, Megan can transform into Sailor Megtune, possibly by using a Guitar Hero controller, though any transformation of hers is not explicitly seen in the comics. A picture in the Scrapbook of Fail, however, depicts a transformation pen similar to the ones used by Sailor Moon's teammates, the Sailor Senshi (or Sailor Scouts for you dubbies), during two of the middle seasons (Sailor Moon R and Sailor Moon S). This will probably not be seen or confirmed in the future, because...
First major drawing of Sailor Megtune. Note the colored-over transformation stick.
Transformation stick full-view
It begins...
- Sonichu05-P28.jpg
Look at this animu shit.
- Sonichu05-P50.jpg
Chris writes the thoughts of a sue-ified real person.
MEGTUNE ROCKIN' HURRICANE!
And after massive suffering and drama... "Hey guys, what's da update?"
THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL
.JPG)
Megan Saga
Megan and Chris first met during the summer of 2005 at the GAMe PLACe over a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. Chris, however, saw Megan as his sweetheart. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of Ebay. Through the end of 2005 and into 2006, Chris would hang all over Megan, trying to drag her into dates, trying to force his way onto her and other creepy actions.
This did nothing but earn the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to use reverse psychology on Chris, deciding to say that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of china.
Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
- Main article: Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
In June 2007, Megan went to Kentucky, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he STILL believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win the PSP and the trip and use that to win her heart. tl;dr, Chris lost, Adam Stackhouse won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.
Rule 34
In November, Chris would discover his Encyclopedia Dramatica page and begin his one-man war against the garbage, and in the process, uploaded a number of Rule 34 artwork, one of which was a picture of him fingering a girl with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that this was his imaginary sister Crystal, but Chris was quick to furiously correct them that this was indeed Megan. By 12 March 2008, Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempts to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn as the edits are quickly returned, or even worse, piled up on as he attempts to include a version of the same Rule 34 that just obscures the face.
During this time, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan in this fiasco, initially thinking that she didn't know what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it so he wouldn't rape her and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was NOTHING compared to Chris's trolling attacks. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken from her experiences and traumatized by his actions.[2][3]
The End of Megan
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net>
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3
<fourdogs4@sitestar.net>
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 12:42 am
Subject: .....
Christian-
I haven't been checking my email until recently, and I just want to say that your behavior has irritated me for the last time. First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be. When I say "don't touch me" that means DON'T TOUCH ME! What may seem friendly to you is sexual harrassment to me. You whine that you're just being friendly but you obviously have no consideration for my feelings. The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so. Remember, I have the right to decide who can come near me.
Also I can't say I like how you used my photo in your video and on the cover of your comic book. I want them removed from the internet immediately. Since I'm not a myspace member I can't view what you post. If there are any photos of me on your blog I want them removed.
And I don't like your "Megan Obsession" I don't like being a character in your comics. I don't like how you made me a character in Soulcalibur and Animal Crossing. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.
With all that said, we're down to two options: A: We remain friends and ONLY friends period. As in no more touching me, following me, asking me personal questions, and giving me things. We can still battle and trade cards and talk. -or- B: Never see me again
I'm sorry it's come down to this but I've told you repeatedly in a nice way to stop, but you've never listened.
I hope you will finally take what I just said into serious consideration, and know now that if try your advances again I won't be very nice about it.
We skip forward a few chapters in the saga and come to;
−−−−−Original Message−−−−−
From: Megan Schroeder
<yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com>
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am
Subject: well...
Afterword
| Yet, one can't stay on such sweet passionate feelings without a few speed bumps in the road of life. Even though I didn't mean to give the impression that I was being forceful; for heaven's sake I wouldnÿt ever dare to force her to do anything she didn't want to, but she reminds me times that she isn't ready for Love beyond Friendship. I have no feelings against her wish, and I respect her decisions and feelings. Oh, but even though she Doesn't Say it, or return it, I Love Her, and no matter what, those feelings wills stand strong as time itself. And Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. I Won't Hang Up on what can develop into the True Thing, because I don't just Think, I know that I Love Her. My Love for her is So Pure and true, that not even Every One Love Song can spell it out as well as I am writing it now.
Every once in a while, I take a look into my Mirror Mirror of life, check the things I've seen and heard of. I've seen the Jet City Women, and frankly I'm not thrilled. I can't help but feel sorry for them; True Love is Priceless and rarely street-found. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is fun to watch, because itÿs so stupid, it's funny, as well as some of the Non-Anime programs on Adult Swim; lucky there's a Family Guy. I'm happy that I am no longer in the Heart-Shattered, Tired Soul Times; I was often so depressed, I could have been a Sofa King. So many stupid Ways I Wanted; I don't have to care too much about those paths now, but back then, sometimes I Couldn't Sleep so bad, I could have Bounced Off the Ceiling. Reflecting on those past Things Makes Me Go Hmm... I always come to the conclusion that my future is solid now that my Me Plus One has a gelatinous conclusion. The Answer is the girl in the uniform that I've grown to Love. While I do have deep scarlet desires for the eventual Party For Two en La Cocina en La Casa de Casa-No-Duh (basically the Kitchen in my House), I am in no rush for a kiss on Rainbow Road; I can wait for the longest time; except when it comes to my stomach or bladder or course. I am capable of showing her a good time with a nice dinner for two at a nice restaurant, taking her to a movie or even a moonlit (or sunlit) rendezvous at the park; most whatever her heart desires. As long as I am Together With Her, especially in all of the neutral social locations, I am happy. The first time I see her smiling face on any day, itÿs like seeing the Morning Moon, shining with radiance. The only thing that keeps us limited to once a week is our respective Signals in the Sky. Each time I leave her, I hope Iÿve left her with a smile and a warm feeling in her heart, as I do. It's In My Impressions, as well as what happens that day. No one can come close to her, because to me she is The Most Beautiful, and Caring Girl in the World. Good Night, Good Morrow, for now I walk from the End of our time together; I will always look forward to our next Staff Party For Two. Is the Love between us truly a Destiny or a Warp-Pipe Dream; Our Sailor Stars will guide us. In the meantime, I can enjoy the two of us E-Mailing to Each-Other's Hearts.[4] |
| Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, 2007 after the PaRappa the Rapper contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my heart. It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid- September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search.[5] |
Chris just can't let go of her
Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in July 2009, first in the CWC "Boyfriend" video, and then in the subsequent update.
| “ | Megan WHY??? | ” |
| I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts | ||
Chris also reposted the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.
On 12 August 2009, he dedicated the song "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens in one of his KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special videos. In it he also said that he "had her "I love you" before I got kicked out".
Megan today
The current whereabouts of Megan are unknown. Like so many gal-pals, so humiliated was she by Chris's behavior towards her she has now completely disappeared. Chris claims during his date with Emily that Megan moved out of state, probably to Utah. Friends of hers have stated that she is sort of traumatised by the whole thing and doesn't wish to go near that shit ever again. Who can blame her?
Megan Schroeder's art gallery
Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the Wedding Comic.
"Ace of Clubs"; Megan's original design for Patti-chan, until Chris stole the design.
Miscellaneous gallery
- Sonichu05-P52.jpg
See also
- ShecameforCWC.JPG - the infamous picture that could have only come from the depths of Chris's imagination.
- Megan E-mails
Sauces
- ↑ Chris's MySpace blog (via ED)
- ↑ Chris-chan#Megan Saga
- ↑ List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008
- ↑ Story of My Current Days
- ↑ Chris's update on ED about Megan, 12 November 2007
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